Is It Really Freedom?

For those of you who don't know me personally, one of my best friends ever is gay. Honestly, he is one of the most amazing people that I've ever met. He's the best people that I've ever met, and I've met a lot of people. 

Yesterday while watching the news, I saw a story about how a officials in a CT (my homestate) school said it was okay for a kid to wear an anti-gay T-Shirt. (Article featured below) Once, I saw that I felt sick to my stomach. I understand that people have the right to wear whatever they desire. After all, we have the right of freedom of speech and opinion, but I think that there should be a line to where that ends. That line should be ended when someone gets offended. You know how people say that it's all fun and games when somebody gets hurt? Yeah, well it should be. 

I'm a very supportive person of the gay community, because gay people are people too. I've worn purple on purple day, and shut up on stay quiet day. During those times, I've noticed others who would try to hurt the people involved in those protests. 

Judging someone based on what gender they love is something that shouldn't happen. Unfornataly, it DOES happen. However, as time moves on, we are getting better with censoring those words. However, there is still enough hate to override the amount of love that is out there. I think the person shouldn't wear this shirt, simply because of the numerous amount of people who would get hurt by the person wearing the shirt.

I now ask you, my readers to do something for me. To stop using the slang 'that's so gay.' To stop making homosexual or bisexual people feel like their not good enough. To make every person who is different feel like their loved. 

Is it freedom of speech when the person who fights for the freedom is hurting another party? My opinion? No. I believe that the Golden Rule should come into play. If you don't have anything nice to say or wear then keep it to yourself. Some people follow this rule, others don't. I think that this is something that is an example of people not following that rule. Wearing a shirt that promotes this sort of behavior is wrong, in my book. If you view homophobic ways, then keep them to yourselves, or express them in a way that doesn't hurt others. 

Thank you. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/26/seth-groody-connecticut-teen-anti-gay-shirt_n_2767945.html

Is it Expected?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about sex. I mean, it's everywhere. It's a common thing in the media. Plots on television shows, movies, and novels are all based on it. Lately, I've been noticing more and more people my age are having it. At my college's nurse's office there is a huge bowl available of just condoms. I mean, I'm not that old, or not that young. I'm eighteen years old, and I still don't believe that sex is a good idea for me at this stage of my life. Does that make me a freak or something?
I then wondered if this was expected of the modern day relationship. To have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend and have it not mean something. And if you don't have sexual relations with them, what does that make you? A freak? Forever alone? Isn't the point of a relationship, well a good one, is to grow with each other, and respect what they believe, in addition to their limits?
I decided to take this question to a couple of my friends. Both of them were in relationships however one was male and the other was female. Taking this into consideration, they both said the same thing. They said that they didn't think that relationships expected to have sex. However, I begin to question, what makes one person ready for sex?
I suppose the answer to this question is similar to the answer to a lot of things. When you're ready you'll know. In the end, it's really up to you to have decide whether or not you're ready to take this risk or not. Not your parents, friends, or even your boyfriends. Your own. So, if you don't want to take this risk, you don't have to. And if someone expects you to, for whatever reason, chances are that person shouldn't be worth making that important decesion for.

Heart Matters.

Lately, I've been thinking of the heart, and it's many consequences. The heart does so much. It's our acting gut, it's something that keeps us from doing, and is our desire for doing them. It's our motivation for doing these things, even. Our heart is sometimes given to others with out their consent, or sometimes even our own. The heart is a funny organ, but yet, eventually it is the one that knows us the best.
I began to think of heart in the beginning of this week. I had a person who perhaps I didn't have any romantic interest in at all, but wouldn't leave me alone. I felt bad, but realized that if I gave in I wouldn't be fair to both parties. It wouldn't be fair because both of us would be living a lie. It also wouldn't be fair to us because we would be holding us back to the people who we do want to give our heart to. It sucks to be the one who has to be told this, but in the end, it will all be okay.
I can not be in a relationship without no heart. Where my heart is, that's where I'll be. If I don't feel something, then I can't be with them. I don't care who the hell they are, if my heart is telling me to go for something then I'm sure as hell going to go for it. I can try to hide my feelings about it but that wouldn't help me find happiness. My advice to anyone who is unhappy is to follow your heart, and to avoid opinion of other's who want you to follow their opinion of you and what you should do.
The heart can lead us to do some pretty crazy things. It can cause you to make mistakes, even. It can cause you to change your hairstyle. It can even cause you to lose your virginity. All of these decisions, you guess them have consequences. Some are bigger then others. The point is, if you're not ready for them, then chances are this isn't something that you should be doing.
The heart matters. Listen to it. Cheesy? Yes. True? Yes.

Dear Father.

Dear Father,
For years, you have plagued my life, a black hole in my childhood existence  You have a rep of not being there for me, a perfect track record that will always remain consistent  No amount of money, cards, or gift can ever change that. You lie, your nose as long as Pinocchio's, spinning a web so tangled that water can't slip through.
Father, you hurt me in every way humanly possible. You've abandoned me as a child. Once I begin to gather enough strength to stand, you come around like a hurricane to spiral me back down again. You spin the same old story round and round, until one day it falls down the drain, dropping into freefall.
It took me years, but I've finally come to accept what you've done to me. I can not control your actions, however I can control my own. You hurt me, by walking out, and be never being a series regular in my lifetime. That was your doing, not my own. You've made your decisions, and hurt your people. You still want to have contact, but do not understand that sometimes it's not entirely best for all of the parties that are involved. I forgive you, for forgiving is letting go of the negative energies that are surrounded, but the presence of them will forever remain.
I will however feel the most sorry for you, because it is you who missed out. You missed out of my high school prom and graduation. You missed out confirmation. You missed out on the everyday things, the things that aren't exactly Kodak moments. You can not get any of that back, no matter how much you want to pay, or want to.
I'm eventually growing to forget all of what's happened. Father, may you have a nice life.
Sincerly,
Natalie

Happy Birthday!

Today's blog entry is to honor my grandfather. Today's what would have been his 86th birthday, and needless to say, it's causing some feelings. But, I'm alright. I'm not sad. I'm laughing, which is something that he would have wanted anyways. I wonder if that's what happens with grief. Does it go from a large hole in your body, and slowly shrinks smaller and smaller? 

Anyways, this is not a grieving piece. So yeah. It's a piece saying happy birthday to my grandpa. So, happy 86th birthday Grandpa! Hope you're partying it up somewhere in heaven! Love, your favorite granddaughter (it's okay, you can admit it) Natalie. 

Afraid.

Ever have something happen to you, and ever since that thing, you're afraid to do anything. Afraid to walk, afraid to talk or think in a way that you once perceived as being harmless? Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking, perhaps too much thinking then I need to do. Maybe if I had used up all of this time that I spend thinking about this to study I would have a four point o grade point average.
Sometimes, in life we make mistakes. We make them, and then we have to live with the consequences  We have to realize that the choices that we make often have them as well. It can be anything, ranging from good or bad. For example, my choice to say hello to the person sitting next to me in band class turned into a conversation, which turned into a good friendship. Another example is my decision to go to lunch with a bunch of friends one spring day turned into a confrontation which lead to an emotional upheaval. Everything we choose has a consequence. Even the small things, such as choosing what we want to eat for the day has its ups and downs.
One of the consequences is that you're afraid. You're afraid to jump, you're afraid to trust, and you're afraid to just live. You choose to answer a text message and bam, you've gotten yourself into a situation that you're afraid to get out of. And then, you begin to wonder, am I that way with other people? Do people perceive me to be like this as well? Is every text message sent by me followed by a groan on the other side?
But, then I realize that my fears are stupid. My fear of being alone is stupid because I am only 18. Most of all, my fears are from the choices that I've made in the past. Those choices are the reason why I'm afraid. I've made them, made that bed, and now I have to lie in it, and get the fuck over it.
The biggest thing I have to learn is that eventually everything's going to be ok. It may not be today, nor tomorrow, but it will be sooner or later. I have things that are good in my life, and if I can't see them, then I shall force myself to. I'm afraid, but I have a safety net that holds me and pushes me foreward.. That safety net is the friends who are there for me, and the family who annoys me. I'm lucky, although at times I find a blindness to see that.
Being afraid is a natural part of life. Growing past it, is the goal of life.

It's Amazing.

It's amazing how one song can have so much power. It can put you in a different mood. It can take you to a different time or place. It can stop you dead in your tracks, and make you wanna dance. It can make you cry. It can make you laugh. It can make you want to get on top of a table and begin to dance. It can even motivate us to the point of being able to do something that you never thought that you would be able to do.  It's all the power of one single song.
It's amazing how music can do this. Music is something that will always be there, because it always was here. How we listen to it may change over time, but music is still there. I'm currently listening to music by my favorite band at the moment, Aerosmith. Music has power, one can assume. Its presence is like the wind, one can never see it, one can hear and feel it. Music is the one thread that unites us, because everyone in some way or another, likes music.
Music is this power that is there for us. The songs we listen to, well some of them anyways can cause amazing things. Therefore, one can say one thing:
Music makes the people come together, yeah..
Thanks Madonna!