The Expectations, The Pressures, and The Roles

I hate the fact that there's a bunch of "shoulds" and expectations in life. I hate that you have to measure yourself in numbers, such as how much money you have, how many likes you have on your selfie and how high your GPA is to measure success. I hate that as a woman, I'm expected to fill the role as a homemaker and mother or fill the role as a bitchy boss with no in-between. I hate that if you don't have sex than you are considered to be a prude, but if you do than you're an automatic slut. I hate that boys will be boys when they do something stupid. 

There's so many expectations out there that it makes my head spin. As a woman, I'm expected to be a certain way. And, it's a lot of fucking pressure. I want to talk about the pressure of relationships, as it seems to be a prominent one. Some people expect you to wait until you have a ring and a cupcake looking dress to lose your v-card. But, what if I don't want to get married? What if I want to have a partner, someone who I live with but don't share a last name or a legal right to? Does that mean I should never, under conservative view points, never have sex? 

Society is changing, but still we romanticize relationships and weddings as being the ideal goal. We still view marriage as being an ideal goal, but we don't know what that little expensive rock entails other than forever love and happiness. We've grown to have expectations for what marriage is, what it means and what will happen when we are married. The same goes for a boyfriend. We expect to be happy, the label means that you're one of the cool kids. 

However, the unofficial relationships, the kids who are out there committed to each other but don't label it, are the ones are even better. They are the ones who are two people who think they are special, they love and care about each other, yet they don't say what the relationship is. In some ways, those are viewed as cheap relationships, because the couple is viewed as being screwed up because they couldn't commit and make the label work. But they are the ones who are making things work their own way. 

Success is also measured in numbers. How many likes did you get on the last selfie you posted? Did it make you sad that you didn't get as many as your friend? Or, what about your GPA. Did you make Dean's List? If you didn't, but still got a 3.0 GPA or higher, that means you've failed. And that's fucking stupid. 

I think relationships, numbers measuring your self worth and trying to live based on what other people want you to be is just dumb. In life, the only person you have to please is yourself. Not your mother, friend whose outspoken or your grandparents. People will have their own version of you, and therefore give you their opinion to do what they think makes you happy. However, you're the one who has to live with it, the one who has to look in the mirror in the morning and like what you see. So fuck them all, listen to your heart and remember that sometimes the only voice that matters is the one you have internally. 

Society and the Single Girl-Titles

Sometimes, I feel like a freak of nature. At almost twenty, I have friends that are head over heels deep in relationships where they can see a future that's promising in the horizon. And I'm just sitting here, single, with no plans whatsoever on what I want to do with my life, and wondering if I am a freak of nature.
I'm going to say it right now, and get it over with. I'm not sure if I want to have the wedding, followed by the kids, and live in the white fenced world that's protected by expectations. I'm not offending people who do fall in this category, but it may not be for me. I'm not sure if I want to use the title 'mother', or even 'wife.' "Partner,' yes if I find someone that fits the role. 'Journalist,' hell yeah. I want to be treated as an equal, not the person who provides for her family by cooking. Being June Clever is something that I just don't want to do with my life. I rather be Carrie Bradshaw, who wanders around. I want to be inspiration to many, and I want to do that with or without a man to rule by my side. I feel like that because I don't have a romantic bone in my body, that I'm the enemy single person, that everyone either hates or pities.
Being single and perhaps not knowing if that lifestyle is what you want isn't something that you should be feeling sorry for. Many people often say that, and then are frowned upon. I have friends who just want that, and I think that's great. I don't know what my life is going to be. I sometimes even wonder if I'm too independent to be in a relationship in the first place. Whatever happened to pride? Whatever happened to the women wanting to become president, instead of housewives?
With some people, I believe that falling in love is a trap. A trap of all your pride, dreams, and dignity. I want to be that girl who does what she wants, and doesn't have to tell a man anything. I don't answer to nobody, and that's the way that it's going to be. I don't want to put someone ahead of me, because that's not the way it should be. I have friends, and they are going to be my friends whether or not I have someone in my life. I believe that some people take the dating thing a bit too far, and put their man on a pedestal. I sure as hell will never do that.
Does that make me a person that's the enemy? I put me first, but in all essence, that's about being single. Finding someone that makes you happy. Finding what makes you happy, and never settling for things that don't. At the end of the day, that's truly important, and I want to live my life where every moment of it, for the most part, I'm happy.
And that my friend, is a fact.

Read the latest Tinder project post here.

Society and the Single Girl-"You've Got Mail"

Whenever I think of online dating, I think of the movie You've Got Mail. You know the one where Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks fall forever in love, via computer screen. It's something so romantic, yet so naive. Someone can actually use their computer for more than just buying too many shoes. You can use it to meet people! OMG. Wait, that's what the entire blogging community is made out of. Virtual connections. I actually met my real life friend Emma on the internet. (We go to the same college). But can the same thing work for dating?
Shows like Catfish give me the creeps because they open your eyes and make you realize that the person that you're talking to behind the screen gasp, may not be who they said that they are. Then there's the whole aspect of people who are online date are just creepy predators who are just looking for their hormonal fix. And that just scares me. I have trust issues as it is, guys. Why would I be able to trust someone who I met on the internet? I tried to trust someone who my friend gave me their number to, and all that did was get me a creep stalker. (Single girl problems at their finest) So, the internet is no different right?
But here's the thing, I am kind of curious about the whole thing. Maybe I could meet my soulmate on the internet. (You all remember my post about soulmates, right?) Maybe I could meet someone awesome.
I've read Rachel's from Sunshine and Sinatra adventures about her online dating. I mean they are pretty crazy. But still I am curious about this Tinder. I've never tried it, and I'm actually not interested in looking for someone to settle down and put a ring on it. I'm an awkward wallflower so maybe this might be a good idea. I'm not even out of my teens yet, so that's kind of off the table. Maybe it could be fun. Maybe it could be something worth trying out, or a complete and total disaster. What do you all think?

Society and the Single Girl; Thing I Notice and Tend to Dislike About the Love Patterns of Girls.

Disclaimer: The following blog is about my opinion of relationships, and a rant that I have developed based on what I've seen nowadays. If this offends you, this means one of two things. One, you're a person who gets offended easily, or these things could pertain to you. Then that means that you perhaps need to reevaluate your lifestyle. Thank you and good night. I also want to say that not all people are like this, myself included. I'm just honestly wondering how some people can.

I hate it when girls lower themselves or change themselves for a guy or a boyfriend. I mean isn't the point of relationships to make someone like you for you? It's not like you have to change to be liked. If you did, then that would be no fun. It would be like getting to know this cloned verison of him in a dress. I mean come on. It's not cute when someone agrees with everything that you say just for the sole purpose of them liking you more. To find a connection that you crave, shouldn't you be honest? Just saying. Telling someone that you like to watch or play football when in reality you hate it isn't exactly the coolest thing ever. Plus, there's that whole respect factor. How can someone you love respect you when you're throwing yourself at them? Chances are they probably won't.
I feel like there's no chase anymore. If the cheese isn't hard to get, then the person won't cherise it. I believe that you should treat your significant other like they are a diamond, because they are just that precious to you. If you feel like they are like a CZ...then yeah that's a problem.
I also hate it when girls say that they are in love with their significant other, or when they say they are going to be married one day. Before you all want to have me beheaded, let me explain my reasoning. I don't mean this for a couple that's been going out for months or years. I mean this for the people that are really young and or immature, or have been going out for a couple of weeks. I believe that the love and the person has to kind of mature for it to work. Otherwise, it's just crappy infatuation in which you think that you love someone when you really just want to be in love.
I hate it when girls get mad when their significant other doesn't text them back right away. Okay for starters, phones aren't meant to be glued to their sides. I'm not a huge fan of my cellular device. The only time that I really like to use it is when I talk to my friends who are in the different countries. I tend to ignore people who text me, I'm not even going to lie to you people on that one. When I'm writing, I'm in the  zone. When I'm at school, I'm learning. I'm addicted to my phone, like the rest of society is. However, I don't (unless it's important for me to get in contact with you) yell at people or question their reasoning for not answering their cell phones. We all have lives that are beyond the screen. Girls, please remember that. Don't spam them, because that's just freaking annoying. Then, they will tend not to be attracted to you so much.
Finally, it bothers me when girls completely shelter themselves off with their boyfriend. For example, all they do is go to their house and hang out with them and not going out? Not cool honey. Sometimes, hanging out at the house is fine. However, sometimes you guys need a life that's not sheltered away from each other, such as sitting at home doing God knows what..well I try to make this blog as PG as possible, so...The problem with this is that by doing this you basically become sheltered which is unhealthy. Do something else other than hang out at his house. Like you know, get fresh air?
Seriously, girlfriends nowadays bug me. It's not all about your boyfriend because he usually finds that to be unattractive that your constantly up his ass. Get a job, a hobby, get some friends. He has a life, and so can you. That way, your relationship can be I don't know, healthy!

Society and the Single Girl; Expectations

I would like to introduce this new feature on my blog, called Society and the Single Girl. It's about how society and it's expectations of romantic relationships, in addition to my opinions of a certain matter. I have three sources of inspiration for this article. The first, is Carrie Bradshaw. The second is Helen Gurely's Sex and the Single Girl. The third is the feature on a blog I read called Move on Over Carrie (http://theunreal-life.blogspot.com/2013/11/move-over-carrie.html) So, without further adue, here is my own little screwed up verison and opinions of this.)

In life we have expectations on everything. We expect certain outcomes based on societal norms. We expect that when we go to bed, that we will wake up in the morning. We expect that when we eat food, we will no longer be hungry.
The same can be said about romantic relationships too. When going into a relationship, we expect certain things. Some are different then others. For example, let's take a boy who likes a girl. If the girl says yes to him when he asks her out, he expects certain things. He expects that she thinks that they are going out on a date. He expects that she likes him too. However, the girl could have different expectations of the date. She could, for all we know, expect that he's going to be turning into this amazing guy, and they will live happily ever after.
The reality is different than the expectation. Expectations can cloud the reality because when the expecations are not met, than we will try to mold them into being what we want to be.
Our romantic relationships are affected the most by this. For example, take someone who falls head over heels in crazy love. She expects that the relationship will last forever, and that they will go on and get married. However, the expectation can cloud the judgement of her boyfriend treating her badly, and making her feel like she needs him more than she actually does.
A common love pattern I see on social media sites is that people refer to their significant others as the one. Referring to people who you barely know, or people that you put up on a pedestal as the one can be bad for every party involved.
In all actuality, going into things with the expectation is something that we as humans can not avoid. By creating people that are different than what they actually are we are living a lie.
My personal opinion of all this expectations is to simply try to go in and not having any. That way, you don't have to feel like you have to live up to the schema that society and yourself has created. That way, you can just be, VS than aspire to be. Expecations can ruin relationships.
My expectations for my future boyfriends are that he understands that I have to do my own thing at times, that he's important to me as well as I hope to be for him, that my two closest friends are males, and they are the best people in the world, and that I have my quirky moments. I expect that I'm treated with respect, dignity, and like a lady. I demand that same amount of respect from him, and I hope that he knows that.
Expectations can cloud judgement. By trying to not have them? We simply can not have them, but by not created them we have the opportunity to live freely.