A time that I screwed up was when I was in high school. I was a senior in high school when I found out that my grandfather was going to be living his past few days. During that time, I also was applying to college, juggling a decision that I know am happy that I made, and of course trying to fit the average stresses of being in high school. Needless to say that I was a hot mess.
Now looking back I realize that I didn't treat the people who I was closest too. I leaned too much on a few of my closest friends, and demanded way too much. I couldn't deal, but I was miserable all of the time. I didn't want to do things, all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself. However, with that being sad, I was grieving and feeling an emotional upheaval. I should have gone to a therapist to help me deal. I felt overwhelmed, because of stress, and of course having to deal with the whole grieving process.
I screwed up during this time period because I was so self absorbed, I failed to realize that people cared about me. In a sense, I kind of pushed those who loved me away. I screwed up because I often was impossible to deal with. To all of my friends who stood by me through this, thank you for dealing with me. To the friends that I pushed away, I'm sorry that I pushed you away. I was stupid and confused and annoying then.
Getting through this taught me something. It taught me that I'm not alone and that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to. I am loved, and I have great friends that I should in fact be grateful for. Wait, I am grateful for them. I screwed up, fucked up, you name it. But I dealt with it.
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