Friday, January 31, 2014

All Your Fears..

Sometimes, I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. The hardest thing in the world for me to is to let someone else be there for me. I may have an oversized ego, but deep down I am the most insecure person that you can ever meet. Why is it so difficult for me to just say yes and just let myself finally be...well able to trust someone. 
I don't understand why I am feeling the way that I am feeling. Where is the trigger to this strange notion? I don't know. I just know that I feel something. Maybe it's fear, because I'm scared. Maybe it's anger at someone whose hurt me in the past. Or maybe, it's me wanting to remain the way that I am. 
In the past, I've always run away or denied my feelings. When I finally admitted them, it was too late. In Freud's psychology, it can be said that I may have some unresolved conflicts that truly should get resolved. But, a lot of people don't like Freud so I guess that could be wrong. 
I've come a long way since I last met someone whose made me happy enough to actually say that "I like you." I suffered an eating disorder, I dealt with grief, and actually started to get my life together. But, I'm worried that on some level that can destroy it. I'm worried that if I let my walls down, they might get crumbled. I'm worried that if I say I love you, then I wouldn't hear those same words back. I can deal with this anxiety with humor, and my personal favorite, running from them. But, what if there's no more places to run?
When I begin to trust someone, I begin to expose myself to them. I'm a very what you see and what you get kind of person. Then, comes the haunting fear of worry. What if they don't like that version of me? What if they don't like me, and they just want me to go away? Maybe it's from my past, or maybe it's just something that I really need to get over. 
At the end of the day, I just want someone to love me. Someone to make sure that I'm okay when I cry. Someone that knows me, trusts me, and I can trust them. Someone to accept that sometimes I am a certain way because of what happened. I'm a complicated person, but I wish I wasn't. I want my guard to be down. I want to be able to go up to someone and say 'dude, I trust you.' Lately, it seems like all of my fears are coming to me wrapped up in a little bow. I really don't want to run from them, but I'm worried perhaps more than anything that they can come true.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

"Fake it Til You Make It"

My friend and I were talking yesterday about guys. We both happen to like someone, and are trying to navigate that whole business. Then she turned around and said I was the most confident person that she knew. I had to look twice. Me? Confident? Now that's a good one.
Although that's a really good compliment, I couldn't help but wonder why I'm so confident. In reality, dating scares me. The fact that there's someone out there that may or may not like me scares the living daylights out of me and causes me to run faster than a deer in the headlights. I'm so insecure at times it's not even funny.  I worry, I overthink, and I get anxious for no reason. It's still a hard thing for me to realize one thing. I guess I faked it enough til I made it. 
Honestly, I believe that if you want something or someone you gotta go for it. Make it known that you want it cause sometimes you gotta take a chance. Whether it's texting them, or just going up and making out with them, there's one thing that they have in common.  Bitch, you just gotta do it. Whether or not he would say no, you just gotta get up the balls and do it. And then you fake it til you make it. 
I literally follow that idea all of the time. I listen to confidence boosting music that makes me feel like a bad ass. I even have staying alive on my iPod so I can pretend to be John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever with the paint can and walking down the street. I think I'm the best person ever, cause duh I am. But like I said, there's another side to that. Kind of like that soft center in the tootsie pop. You have to really dig deep to get there. Once I start revealing it to you, that means I like you. 
However showing that vulnerable side of me is something that scares me. I'm worried that at the end of the day, he's going to realize that I'm not always that girl whose always happy. I have multiple sides of me, like diamonds have multiple facets. I want to be with someone who understands sometimes I want to talk about the world, and other times that I just want to sit in silence. Basically, I want someone that can be with me when I'm at my most confident, and be able to be with me when I'm not. There's more to me than just that girl who fakes it til she makes it. I just want to know one thing; is there someone out there that can find that part of me? 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

"The Answers Aren't In The Back" Girl Between the Lines

This week's Girl Between the Lines post is to talk about what you thought your life would be like now, and how is it similiar and different. Well, let me tell you. I had the hardest time trying to figure out what to write for this. But, finally I found something that floated my boat so here goes nothing.

It's 2014. I'm a sophomore in college, and I will soon be saying buh-bye to my teen years. I can't believe that time has passed as fast as it did. I don't feel like I'm almost 20. I feel the same as I always did. When I was younger, I thought that being in college would mean that I was going to be automatically fabolous and that I was able to put my life together. I would be sophisticated, and know what the hell I was doing. Well, that wasn't true. I came into college not knowing what to expect, and I still don't know what the hell is going on with my life. I've watched so many television shows, as the children went off and went to college. They had a fabolous time, naturally. I expected that my time in college would be something similar to that. As I entered adulthood, I coudn't help but want to know where all the answers were.
That's the thing about life, there's no answers in the back of the book. You're stuck in probelmatic situations with nothing but your brain and your instinct. I guess that I thought that when I got to be this age everything would fall into place, kind of like Cinderella's glass slipper fitting perfectly. I thought that I would have my license for starters. As for the rest of it, I kind of always knew that I wanted to do. I wanted to be a writer, despite the fact that I was unsure what kind of writer I wanted to be. Back then, I thought that I didn't want to be a journalist. Ha, I was wrong.
However, despite not having the answers to everything, I did find one thing that was the same. That I wasn't alone. Over the course of my college career thus far, in addition to high school, I have found some of the most interesting characters that you will ever meet. Each and every one is different. I always kind of knew that I had a lot of friends, and to be able to accumlate so many over a period of time reminds me that I will never be able to go through rocky seas alone. We're all messed up and imperfect in our own ways. But here's the thing-it's okay.
I can't plan or predict what the next few years is going to bring for me. I know that I am going to graduate in two years from May. I know that I want to be a journalist more than anything. But, that's all that I got. Sometimes, I wish that I can pull out some sort of crystal ball and just get the answers. Would I have a boyfriend? Would I be going to graduate school? I guess that the younger, more naive me thought that I would kind of know that by now. However, the older, wiser me begs to differ. I guess part of life is simply not knowing everything. The fun part being that you get to go through a twisted maze to get there. But, hopefully at the end of the day it will be worth it.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"Don't You Worry Your Pretty Little Mind; People Throw Rocks at Things That Shine"

Have you ever had something happen to you that completely changes you? You can't help it but it does. It changes the way that you think, and what you expect out of other people. We begin to overgeneralize how every single person or thing is going to be based on something that happened long ago. Something that happened to you and now that you think it's going to happen again.
It's safe to say that all of my reactions are a consequence of something that happened to me. We've come to expect things based on a cycle of things that have happened to us previously? But, to overcome them, we often wonder what the hell did we do to deserve them? We have to wonder why something happened to us. Sometimes, it's enough to keep us awake at night, and our stomachs turning and tying themselves in knots. Worry can consume us, and turn us into crazy people.
The million dollar question is why do we worry?
Well, there's no concrete clear answer to that. However, I can say honestly that we worry because we expect some sort of abstract consequence or experience some sort of pain. We worry because we think that somethings going to happen and there's no probability that it actually will. The source is unknown, but the answer is clear. There is no way to prevent it. It's a part of life. The only answer to all of this is to not worry at all.
If only it were that simple. Of course you can't tell someone not to worry. That makes them worry more!
What I've found out to be is that the more you worry, the only thing that gets hurt is yourself. I believe that God has created a story for me, written in stone, and his path to be clear. If it's meant to be, then it would be. Therefore, there's no sense worrying about it.
Okay, so I'm offically Yoda.

Monday, January 27, 2014

"It's Not A Goodbye, It's a See You Later"

Here he is making me pancakes!

My Fave!

Yesterday, I had to say good bye to my best friend Gabriel who was heading back to the Twin Cities. He goes to school at Maclaster College, which is pretty far away from where I currently am. (Over one thousand miles, isn't that crazy?)
Saying goodbye to someone is never easy. When I said goodbye to Alessia, my friend in Italy, it was hard because I didn't know when I was going to see her again. Or even if, because plane tickets are expensive. With that being said, saying goodbye to Gabriel wasn't bad because we knew one thing. We would see each other when he got back.
Over the break, it's safe to say that I have spent most of my time with him. I feel bad for ditching my other friends, however I hope that they understand that the fact that he's not here everyday makes the time that I do get to spend with him very precious. Towards the end of his time here, we try to spend as much time humanly possible together because we know that this is truly it. We usually try to take a bunch of pictures (my doing) so we can have them when we are apart. We have a ritual where we would eat pizza together, and get Starbucks, which we do. We said goodbye yesterday as he dropped me off to work. We ate lunch together, and I went to his father's church service. (His parents are ministers)
Even though the goodbye was sad, I knew that I would be seeing him again in March when he comes home for Spring Break. That means I'll see him in less than 60 days. The last time, it was a lot harder because I knew that I wouldn't see him until there was snow on the ground. I also didn't know what I would be expecting when he left.
I realized something too. I realized that no matter how far we go from each other, I will always have him as a friend. I learned that distance truly shouldn't affect your friendship. I do think it changes it because we're no longer living in the same time zone. You have to realize that both parties have things going on. For example we try to talk on the phone at least once a month, skype as much as humanly possible, and make sure that we text as much as we can. He's my best friend, and I truly realized that as he went away. When we were reunited, it felt like we technically weren't apart. That, my friend, is the true meaning of friendship.
So Herb, I will miss you very much. However, I hope that you have a great semester. I hope that you have a great time, and I hope that when you get back in March we will have lots of fun adventures ahead of us. Here's to the Starbucks, and to the good times. I love you, and it's really not a good bye. It's a see you in March kind of thing.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

"I'm Still Breathing".

Lately I've been thinking about a lot of things that went on in my past. Yes, I heard don't dwell on the past, focus on the future, and all of that. However, I can't help but wonder if our past affects who we are now? Kind of like that ghost that we bury deep in that closet. Is it always going to be there? How does it affect us? If it didn't happen, would we be the same people?
I could say that things that happened in my past do seep into my actions in the future. Rejection, for example, can affect your ability to want to reach out. Why try something that could perhaps we lose? Therefore, we become wallflowers who don't reach out into the world because we are simply too scared. Sometimes I wonder what brings that fear on, and how we can overcome it. Once we encounter people that punch internal holes in us. When that happens, it changes us. It makes us question every move, and put words in other people's mouth that probably weren't even in there.
When I was a psychology student, I learned about fears and in therapy, we can overcome it. Sometimes, we awfulize things when in reality we don't know what's going to happen. There's a 50-50 change of being rejected when you ask someone out, if you ask me. The chances go up higher if you know they like you, and the chances go lower if you're the member of the chess team asking the head cheerleader out. Sometimes, the solution is to flood them, and to make them experience their fear head on. In other times, we must face fear in a gradual sense. There's a famous saying that the only thing to fear about fear is fear itself. And what do we fear? Falling, and feeling hurt. 
However, there's something about slowly but surely facing the things that once hurt is. The hurt that we overcame just makes stronger people. Kelly Clarkson sings "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger", and she was right. 
Something that I think I have a habit of is running away and avoiding the whole thing altogether. I want things, but I don't want them if it comes as a too high gamble. I wonder if that's a part of me that will always be there, or will I ever overcome it. Even though I slowly am, I can see bits and pieces from my past morphing into my present. I question things, I wonder if he means the words that he said. I wonder if I'm texting him too much, because of someone else who came before did. I don't understand why those little things that meant nothing back then can affect who I am now. 
We're still here, despite sometimes we feel like we went through hell and back. We all have war wounds, and we all have made mistakes. We just have to remember we deserve the happiness that we get coming to us, because in a sense, we fought for it. 

*The song used in the title is "Still Breathing" by Mayday Parade

Friday, January 24, 2014

Pinterest Planned My Wedding.

Okay, so like most of you all I have a Pinterest account. One of my boards is if I Ever Had A Wedding. So, Mr. Right. I've planned our wedding. Even though I don't even have a boyfriend. But that's okay. A girl's gotta dream right? That, and lots of viewings of those bridal dress shows have gotten me in the mood to discuss weddings. Friday's bride day!
For starters, I'm not walking down the aisle to "Here Comes the Bride." I don't know why, but when I heard the theme of Braveheart...(Yes I know it's a movie that's pretty damn bloody.) I was like that's the theme is what I'm going to walk down the aisle to that song. And ladies and gentlemen, I am walking down the aisle to that.
The next thing that I really wanted to have, like Carrie Bradshaw, is to have blue heels. Or my version of heels, because I would like to have something blue, so that takes care of that. Now to borrow something, to get something old, and something new. I'm a fourth of the way there, folks.

I really want to dress like Catherine Middleton's. However, I would also settle for this dress. I really don't want a fancy dress, because that's not who I am. Since I admire Catherine, and really respect her style. That is why I would like a dress similiar to hers.
Catherine Middleton Duchess of Cambridge's Long Sleeved Wedding Dress
Dresses that I also wouldn't mind having:
Tennessee Farm Wedding from Brooke Boling  Read more -
Your dress!
beautiful bride.
Speaking of style, I want to talk rings. I mean I'll love whatever my hubby to be gets me. But, if he happens to be reading this, I do happen to really like these. You can just take your pick to whatever fits your price point.

#wedding #rings © Amanda Wilcher Photographers |

Lauren Conrad is engaged!!!
Pretty engagement ring
And let's talk cakes. I like cake. And cupcakes. Needless to say, I better be marrying a dude that respects my sweet tooth.
love letters...
Last but not least, I want my bridesmaids to be to be wearing either purple or black. Okay, before you all criticize me for that, hear me out. I actually think black's one of my favorite colors. I think it's classic, and it makes me feel like a complete and total badass.

One thing I don't want my wedding to be is a glamfest. One thing that I don't want to be is bridezilla. However, I'm a girl. It's okay if I think about the fairy tale ending and my prince charming wherever the hell is. In the mean time, enjoy the other things that spark my interest in the wedding field.
Creative heart made of wedding rings
I wanna do this!
barn setting with elegant details Photography by Gayle Brooker Photography /, Event Planning   Design by Kristin Newman Designs /, Floral   Lighting Design by Gathering Floral   Event Design /
Simply pretty.
So, if you were to have a wedding, what would it be like?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Society and the Single Girl-Lose Yourself

One thing that will always baffle me is the fact that some people feel the need to stay with someone whose not good for them. Someone who we love, but we are too blinded to see that they really don't love us back. But that doesn't matter. They still treat us badly, and we still enable it by giving them the cookies. But my question is why?
I believe that a relationship is something that is mutual. Both parties have to love each other with great love. Also, one can argue that both people have to respect another. I think it goes deeper than just saying 'I love you'. You can say that to just about anyone. You have to show it to someone too. You have to be able to say that they make you happy more times than they make you sad. Otherwise, that's not the point of them. They shouldn't be sucking, and they shouldn't feel like a full time job. I understand that sometimes things can be hard for both of you. But if you're not happy all of the time, than I believe that can lead to becoming such a huge problem.
I've seen friends of mine either currently in this pattern or previously in this pattern. I've watched them, and I've never lost so much respect for them. Their focus is on their other person. While this was happening, I would notice one that they've become so depressed, and so reliant on happiness on their boyfriends.
I think that there's some loves that can be as toxic as smoking a cigarette. They are bad for you, so they suck your soul and leave you gasping for more. That's when you lose yourself, at the expense of keeping someone else. You begin to morph into a robot that caters solely to them, and your happiness is behind theirs. Your goals? Gone. Friends? Well, they've gotten tired of you only being there whenever he's not around. Basically, you've become eclipsed into a world that solely is your boyfriend/significant other.
As a person who really hasn't experienced relationships, I wonder if that's something that happens to everyone or a select few. I have so much going on. I don't even understand how someone can do that. My life is balanced carefully, between friends, responsibilities such as school and work, and activities that truly make ME happy. I don't ever want to give it up. If you do, I think that's the point when the relationship as either reached the point of no return. You have to be you, whether you're just friends, or in a relationship with him. Otherwise, you would be lying to yourself, and you would be lying to the other person. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live a lie.
I don't ever want to lose myself at the expense at keeping someone else. I don't ever want to live a lie to make someone else happy with me. If you're in a relationship with me, than you're going to like me for what I bring to the table, not what you bring to the table. After all, who wants to be with someone whose becoming a zombie whose obsessed with them. But most of all what I want in a relationship, in addition to what I think that everyone should want in one is to be happy. 

"Mi Manchi, Nonno". Girl Between the Lines Post

I am the closest to my grandfather than perhaps any other human being on the planet. He raised me like I was his own child, not a grandchild. When he died of Alzheimer's disease two years ago, my grandma gave me a few of his things. I honestly couldn't decide, because these things each have some sort of value of their own.
The first item is a stuffed monkey, otherwise known as Mr Monkey. Mr. Monkey resides on my bed, has a red T-Shirt. He has a banana in his hand. His tongue is sticking out, and he's a light and furry brown. Mr. Monkey is perhaps one of my favorite stuffed animals, because it kind of reminds me of my grandfather, silly, and always fun. My grandmother gave me him shortly after he died, and he's been one of my most prized possessions.  Whenever I hug him, in some weird way it reminds me of my grandfather. Even though he just sits there, looking
The other two items are his necklaces that was his, or were once his and was made for me. The first one is a necklace that was made from a tie tack. My mom had given it to me for my high school graduation, and I am so glad that she did because even though I rarely wear it it's my favorite piece of jewelry. The other two are gold charms that he used to wear all of the time. The first is a Saint Jude, and the second is an anchor that my mom got him from Hawaii.
I choose these items because I was really close to my grandfather, and I miss him terribly. Therefore, picking just one was a hard thing to do. I miss him more and everyday, so the fact that I own things that he once had has the most value than things that cost thousands of dollars. Whenever I look at these things, I am reminded of his fight, his smile, and the fact that he never once complained during his six year battle with Alzheimer's. Thank you Grandpa, for not only the material possessions, but for the wisdom that you've also left behind. Ti amo, il mio nonno. Mi manchi molto.*

*I love you, my grandpa. I miss you a lot.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Meet my Blogging Big!

What was the motivation of your blog?

In May of 2012 I found We Heart This and The Beauty Department and loved them.  I thought it looked fun & that their relationship with their readers was awesome!  This job started out as a beauty blog actually, but I like being a "personal" type blog more.

 5 Little Grins Where do you find the most inspiration for entries?

I think participating in link-ups helps a lot.  Always knowing I'm going to post about what made me happy that week on Mondays really makes things easier.  Other than that, I tend to find post ideas from my daily life.  It sometimes is really hard to come up with post ideas, but the more you blog the easier it gets I think.  Something else that helps is for January I've been occasionally participating in the 2014 Inspire Me Blog Challenge.

What is your favorite blogging music?

It changes constantly, but recently I've been listening to these nineteen songs.

Other than blogging, what are some other interests?

Dancing!  I take four days of dance class a week and I have Ballet Theatre of Illinois rehearsals on the weekends generally.  I love dancing and would like to make a career out of it one day.  Dance therapy would be ideal.

If you can have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

Probably Maria Tallchief.  She's considered to be America's first prima ballerina and it would be really interesting to be able to talk to her.

What's something that sets your blog apart from others?

Most blogs aren't written entirely by a 14 year-old and an 11 year-old!  I think that definitely sets our blog apart.  It's definitely interesting to blog in a community with so many adults.  Some people don't take us seriously, but most are really nice and think it is cool that we are so young!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Music Monday; Prism by Katy Perry

Okay, so let's just say before yesterday that I was NOT a huge fan of Katy Perry at all. But I heard the song Dark Horse on YouTube, and it's been stuck in my head for a while. Needless to say, I wanted to buy it. However, I accidentally bought the album. Oops. However, this was the best accident ever because I think I can't stop listening to her album, and already have her other two on my Amazon wishlist. Therefore, Prism was my new choice for a Music Monday.
I'm used to hearing catchy pop songs from Katy Perry. I kind of tuned her out after I Kissed a Girl, but fell in love with Teenage Dream (the song). However, this album is more than the bubble gum songs that I would have expected. She's grown A LOT since I've Kissed A Girl, and Hot N Cold. I honestly love that the songs are fun to dance to, but have some sort of serious meaning. For example, the song "Roar" talks about having the ability to overcome just about everything. It's like a large piece of chocolate on a bad day, it's a pick me up. However, let's take a moment to admire my favorite song on the album, which is "Dark Horse." That song has been on repeat ever since I got it. The song is pretty amazing. I love the lyrics because it makes me feel like a complete and total badass. I love the rap, especially. It's an addicting song, so if you're looking for a catchy song to do homework, bam you've found it. Another highlight of the album that I can't stop listening to is "Legendary Lovers." I like that song better than "Teenage Dream", because it's a more serious love song. It's a bit more slower, and the lyrics are more serious. "Take me down to the river..." Overall, the songs on the album were extremely impressive.
It's pretty safe to say that we've all heard her songs to the point where we want to gauge our eyes out. However, since I don't ever listen to the radio unless I am in the car with someone who does I can say that these songs are good. Katy, you've grown from your I Kissed A Girl days. Good work.
My recommendations; Roar, Legendary Lovers, Birthday, Walking on Air, Unconditionally, Dark Horse, This is How We Do, International Smile, Ghost, Love Me, Double Rainbow, and By the Grace of God

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Closeted Optimist.

"You make me feel like I am living a teenage dream..."
Okay, so I'm opening up this with the lyrics of my favorite love songs because that song is to me what being love should be like. However, I am the first person to admit that I have issues with being a love optimist despite my peppy music choice. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a closeted optimist.
What is a closeted optimist? It's a person who is too afraid for whatever reason to admit that they actually have some sort of belief that they will ever be happy in some sort of romantic relationship. They are the people who think who make fun of people that are overly cheesy/cliche/romantic on Facebook. Therefore, they use humor as their defense mechanism. They tend to be the people that truly want to be happy, but are too afraid to be. Therefore they think why bother, let's mock it!
Being pessimistic about love is common especially after you went through a bad experience, or have gotten rejected many times. They've suffered broken hearts, and ate Ben and Jerry's while watching Leonardo say "you jump I jump." With that being said, they come with a lot of complications, and white scars on their hearts. They are the ones that feel like they can never win, and therefore become pessimistic. And then they mock the ones that are happy. 
I guess you can say that I am sort of like that. I've dealt with a lot of rejection and I've had a few bad breakups. However, you can't be pessimistic about love. That closes off the door for true happiness. I used to feel like I wasn't good enough to have a boyfriend. 
One thing though that really annoys me is couples that really can't shut up on Facebook. They are the ones that either can't stop posting statuses, photos, and photo captions that would make the Hallmark company jealous. You all know what I am talking about. I wonder if it's my optimism about love that makes me feel that way, but that honestly is so annoying. One or two pictures or statuses a week is fine. That's actually really cute if your significant other is sick and you wish that they are better. Or if you guys are doing something and post a photo of you guys doing it. However, there's a line that gets crossed if you post selfies of you guys pretty much everyday. We get it. You're in love, you met someone who doesn't suck, etc. I believe that couples should leave things online, and therefore posting about your significant other more than once or twice a week can be one thing-annoying. It's not that I am happy for you virtual friend for finding the right person. It's just after a while, I begin to wonder if you care about anything else than your cute boyfriend who your Facebooking about.
Enough about my hatred towards some annoying Facebook people. However, I often wonder if my hatred for that comes from my pessimism. At the end of the day, all I want is someone to appear at my window with a boombox. John Hughes, can you direct my life, please?

Saturday, January 18, 2014

How Do I?

When it comes to entering the dating world, there's so many questions that I have. How do I do this? How do I show that I am interested? How do I find the right words to say the things I feel without sounding like a complete and total idiot? Is that even possible?
I'm a late bloomer when it comes to the dating game. It's safe to say that I've never even had a boyfriend, despite the fact that I've dated losers for about three days, and there was that whole more than friends thing that I had going on when I was 15. None of them were actually good boyfriends, so needless to say it didn't last that long. Also I would like to add that, I have encountered creeps, who are straight up annoying.  I mean come on, who wants to start a relationship with someone that makes you...well scared? Girls, you know what I am talking about. And that's cool and all. But then there's a person that you realize hey they really like me. And then you really like them, and they are totally not creepy. It's great because you know that they are truly great people. But it sucks when you do in a way, because everything is so new and foreign. You don't know what's going on, you slip on your words, and you trip everywhere. You don't know what to say.
It's safe to say that falling for someone for the first time can be three things-awkward, amazing, and overwhelming. It's awkward because you don't know what to say or do to express your feelings. It's kind of like when you're in a room with someone that has all of the power. The power to hurt you, the power to make you, and the power to make you feel like a million bucks. You want to impress them, make them feel like they matter. You often wonder, even though you know on the inside if they feel the same way towards you. It's amazing because it's nice to have someone to get lunch with, someone that gets you, and you know cares about you. I have never truly experienced it, but I hear from the word of the street is that it's pretty great stuff. It's overwhelming because you don't understand these emotions because you have never experienced them before.
Love is a crazy ride. Granted, it's a bumpy one, but it's also crazy. The funny thing is that in the end, it's worth it. So I've heard.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Winter Break Wrap Up

Okay, so I meant to write this post on Sunday. But, I forgot. So, I am finally able to sit down and tell y'all (with pictures) about my winterbreak.

Okay, so the major event of my break was to be able to hang out with Gabriel. At first it was weird because I am only used to seeing him behind my iPad screen. Now, he's here in the flesh. During my break, we went out for dinner, had lots of unhealthy food, and played bananagrams. (If you never had played it, it's so much fun) Although Gabriel leaves in a few more weeks, I can't wait til summer where we can have three months of just hanging out. Having him home makes me really appreciate having such an awesome person in my life, and made me realize now matter how long we're apart we will always somehow be in each others' lives. And call each other a nut.

Gabriel wasn't the only friends who I got to hang out. I had a couple of crazy girls nights with my girls Theresa and Verenized! We would go shopping, have a nice dinner, and just hang out. Hanging out with them is always fun because they always bring out the wild and crazy in me. Over break, I realized that no matter where I go in my life, I will always have my girls, and Gabriel in my life. 
In addition to hanging out with friends, I went on a book binge. I think I read at least six books. I have a probelm, because I would just spend hours of my day reading. I feel good about it though, because I think its important for me to read. Plus, the fact that I work in a library doesn't hurt that I get dibs on the books that I love.
Lastly, I celebrated Christmas. It was well spent, with family, and good memories. Pictured below is my dog wearing wrapping paper.
In conclusion, winter break was short. But it was awesome. Here's to an awesome semester!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Things I Love Thursday; Vera Bradley Glenna Tote

It's safe to say that when it comes to purses I am very picky. It's hard for me to find a purse that literally makes me so excited that I jump up and down for it. When I do, I literally want to jump up and down with it.
I walked into my town's  Hallmark, which carries Vera Bradley items, not expecting to buy anything, but I did expect to attempt to find a purse. I expected to fail though because I had wanted to purchase a purse, but couldn't find one. So, I fell in love with the bag pictured above. And after using it for school for a few days I absolutely love it. 
I reccomend this purse for pretty much everyone. I like it because I have an iPad, and finding a bag that actually fits it is a probelm. I also like it that it has a zipper, because for me it adds the added security. It has many pockets, because sometimes I want things ready as soon as possible. For example, if I want to have a pen, then it's available for me. I lose pens so its nice not to dig in my bag to look for it. There's a zipper compartment that's huge and can fit a lot of stuff. The other side has really big pockets, and can fit things such as gum, lotion, and iPod. 
This purse costs $80, but most places have sales on older patterns. It comes in colorful patterns, so you can get one that fits what you're into. I got the English Rose Pattern because it matched my wristlet. I reccomend this for anyone who has a tablet, whose in college, and who just wants a big purse. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Follow Your Heart; Girl Between The Lines

This week's post was to write about the best advice that you have ever received. It was kind of a hard one to pick out because I've gotten so much great advice over the years. Finally, it clicked. So, after much thought, the best advice that I have ever received was to follow your heart.
I think this is the best advice that I've ever received because I feel like the heart knows more than you do. It knows what you really want to are trying to hide from the rest of the world. Kind of like your Ego if you're a Freudian. Our brain takes care of the logic end of decision making. But, the heart takes care of the whole how do you feel about it?
This lovely piece of wisdom can apply when you're thinking about relationships. Let's say that you have two people that you really like and want to be with. The whole follow your heart thing can have an advantage here because then you kind of already know who you want to be with. If you can't choose between the two then maybe neither are right. One can say that the subconscious has a lot to do with that too. Freud, you will never escape me. doesn't have to do with relationships either. This was a big part of my decision of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. When I was in my psychology classes, something didn't feel right. At first, I used to be excited about going to psychology. Over time, my enthusiasm faded. However, I was always looking forward to my journalism class. I was fully engrossed in the subject. I wanted to write, because that's what felt right for me to do. Needless to say, I no longer plan on entering the mental health field. 
Sometimes, your heart knows what's truly right for you, even when you don't. So, in conclusion, the best advice that I have ever gotten was to follow your heart.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Sex And The City-In Your Life

It's safe to say that every blogger wants to be Carrie Bradshaw in some way shape or form. Sex and the City is iconic show that is timeless. However, you don'thave to move to New York to have the same characters in your life. I am sure there is a Sex and the City character in your life;

The Samantha; She's wild, reckless, fearless, and not afraid of anyone. She's def not afraid to tell it like it is. She is not afraid to try something new, and to have a great time doing it. However, she is one of the more loyal friend that you will ever have because she's got your back.
Aidan; The good-guy that you wonder what the hell you did to deserve him. Aidan has you on the brain constantly, and isn't afraid to let you know that. He treats you like a queen on a throne, just cause he thinks you deserve it. One word to the people who have this in their lives-don't let him go. He's great, and extremely rare.

Charlotte; Charlotte is the gal who is the most tightly bound. She believes in romance and fairy tales. She def doesn't kiss and tell, and squeals when the Samantha does.
Mr. Big; Basically that ex that you can't stop thinking about. He doesn't know what he wants and expects that you will be there waiting for him. So, he strings you along. Otherwise known as the yo-yo relationship.

Miranda; The Miranda of your group is logical and independent. She doesn't fall for some guys' line, and doesn't put up with everything. Miranda thinks that there's more to life than just sex or men, such as a career. Yes, she's driven.
Stanford; The Stanford is extremely flamboyant, and has ze best one liners. He's one of a kind, and with him you'll always have a good time. He knows how to make you smile, and it's safe to say he's closer to you than most of your girls. I think it's extremely important to have a Stanford in your life because he knows how to make you laugh...and protect you.

Carrie; Last but not least, we have the one and only Carrie Bradshaw. She's just a girl who wants to find herself, expensive shoes, and love. She over analyzes pretty much everything, and is extremely passionate in her writing. She's that friend whose always there for you, no matter what you're going through, and is the glue of your friendships.
So, after reading this the answer may be clear on whose the Samantha, the Carrie, etc in your life. And if these don't fit your fabolous friends? That's okay too because your friends are fabolous the way that they are.