Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Society and the Single Girl-Lose Yourself

One thing that will always baffle me is the fact that some people feel the need to stay with someone whose not good for them. Someone who we love, but we are too blinded to see that they really don't love us back. But that doesn't matter. They still treat us badly, and we still enable it by giving them the cookies. But my question is why?
I believe that a relationship is something that is mutual. Both parties have to love each other with great love. Also, one can argue that both people have to respect another. I think it goes deeper than just saying 'I love you'. You can say that to just about anyone. You have to show it to someone too. You have to be able to say that they make you happy more times than they make you sad. Otherwise, that's not the point of them. They shouldn't be sucking, and they shouldn't feel like a full time job. I understand that sometimes things can be hard for both of you. But if you're not happy all of the time, than I believe that can lead to becoming such a huge problem.
I've seen friends of mine either currently in this pattern or previously in this pattern. I've watched them, and I've never lost so much respect for them. Their focus is on their other person. While this was happening, I would notice one that they've become so depressed, and so reliant on happiness on their boyfriends.
I think that there's some loves that can be as toxic as smoking a cigarette. They are bad for you, so they suck your soul and leave you gasping for more. That's when you lose yourself, at the expense of keeping someone else. You begin to morph into a robot that caters solely to them, and your happiness is behind theirs. Your goals? Gone. Friends? Well, they've gotten tired of you only being there whenever he's not around. Basically, you've become eclipsed into a world that solely is your boyfriend/significant other.
As a person who really hasn't experienced relationships, I wonder if that's something that happens to everyone or a select few. I have so much going on. I don't even understand how someone can do that. My life is balanced carefully, between friends, responsibilities such as school and work, and activities that truly make ME happy. I don't ever want to give it up. If you do, I think that's the point when the relationship as either reached the point of no return. You have to be you, whether you're just friends, or in a relationship with him. Otherwise, you would be lying to yourself, and you would be lying to the other person. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live a lie.
I don't ever want to lose myself at the expense at keeping someone else. I don't ever want to live a lie to make someone else happy with me. If you're in a relationship with me, than you're going to like me for what I bring to the table, not what you bring to the table. After all, who wants to be with someone whose becoming a zombie whose obsessed with them. But most of all what I want in a relationship, in addition to what I think that everyone should want in one is to be happy. 


  1. I don't think it happens to everyone, but I think it does happen to a LOT of us...and it's a GREAT learning experience. In most circumstances like this, one is blind: blinded by the hope of love, blinded by lies, blinded by the heart. A great man once told me that when you're in a relationship, you have to date from the mind before you date from the heart. And I learned a lot from that. It's easy to 'fall in love' but it's hard to keep emotions at bay long enough to thoughtfully consider in your mind whether or not a relationship is right for you. I think when you date, you will be wise beyond your years and make great decisions.

    1. I totally agree with you. Some people think with their heart more and vice versa. Thank you very much! thank compliment made my day!