Monday, July 30, 2012


I don't think I spelled the title of this entry right. If I haven't, then I deeply am sorry, and plan to invest into some spell check. Until then, I plan to carry on with this blog entry. Be prepared world.
This past weekend, as many of you guys are, I was tuned into the 2012 Olympic games. I will admit that I've not seen much, nor understood it. (I'm not exactly the world's biggest sports fan) However, it did get me to thinking about something.
It got me thinking about how amazing it is how many people there are that are united by a single front, or thing in common. It reminds me that people can be united, and exist together, peacefully. It reminds me that the dream exists in people that are next door to me, and the dream exists in people who live halfway across the world.
We are all human. We all dream. When we cry, we cry tears. When we laugh, it's usually because something funny just happened. We all aren't that different after all.
And that's what the Olympics, every four years, reminds me of.

Friday, July 27, 2012

A Role Model.

As some of you may know, I'm a huge fan of the television show Ugly Betty. If not, then hey, I'm an Ugly Betty fan. She's like a role model, in addition the show being entertaining.
What makes a role model? Well, a role model is someone who does things that inspire others. A role model is someone who might not necesarily be the best at something, but they tend to have a very broad defination of being able to looked up to. Fictional character or not, it doesn't matter. Everyone has a role model.
One of my role models is the show's protagonist, Betty. I consider Betty to be a role model because she is a writer, and a blogger, both things I am. She knows what she wants, and she's a strong person. She's a good friend to Daniel, (her boss), and sometimes she doesn't always get what she wants. Yet, she doesn't let that stop her. What I admire about her the most is although sometimes life doesn't go her way, nothing would rain on her parade. That's a good skill to have in life, because nothing ever goes smoothly in life, a skill I sometimes wish to possess. I also love how she works hard to get everything that she desires, and when she gets it, it's because she deserves it.
Go Betty.
We all can learn something from her. I learned to work for what I want; to fight for who/what I love, and to take chances. What can you learn from Betty?

Thursday, July 26, 2012

"To Stop and Smell the Roses".

In the fast paced lives that we live in, we often forget about the little things, or to appericate them. (okay, to all of the grammar Nazi's out there, I know I spelled the word wrong. If you want, you can correct me) We often forget the little things in life, like a rainbow, or a hidden flower.  Those little things, simple yes, are things that often are over looked.
Often, time after time, we worry about the things that really don't matter. We worry about things, such as making money, finding a partner, or just small problems. Sometimes, we let the waves of life carry us in a direction that leads us into a scary surf of problems, and confusion. I can admit, myself as a teenage girl, often come to the conclusion that a small problem such as not having that "it" piece of clothing, or being without a boyfriend.(don't judge me)
Those things are small, compared to the grand scale in life. In our hasty ways, we often forget to look at the grand scale of life. We often forget to stop, and stare at the world, because underneath the problems and the hate there is a world that is truly peaceful, whether in nature, or in water (a personal area of peace for me; when I'm at the beach, I can always clear my head, and relax.
We often forget that there is small things in life that have the same meaning as the larger. By taking the time of day to do those small things, we can find inner peace, and happiness, and all of that fun stuff.

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Record Store..

Today, I got the opportunity to shop for CDs. It's literally one of my favorite things in the whole wide world to do, because I've loved music since I was an infant. I've been collecting CDs (compact discs) since I was about thirteen years old, and I have over thirty five hundred (equal to about 20 gigs) songs on my iTunes. Most of them, are taken from CDs from my collection, and the ones of my mother, father, kid brother, and friends. Today, I bought the entire discography of Christina Aguilera, one of my favorite singers of all time. (it's a tie between her, the Bangles, Demi Lovato, and Luke Bryan, these days.)
I've noticed lately how hard it is for me to find places that have good, decent music. (Well to add to my CD collection) I'm trying to find every CD Madonna ever made, (I've succeeded in finding three, the next one is Confessions on a Dance Floor. The place where I went didn't have it sadly) and the places where I'm able to get music don't have it. If they do, it's over ten dollars a pop, if it's not in the top twenty, which most of my music isn't..
I recently read an article about how in five years, CDs will be outdated. As much as I love digital downloading, (with my amount of music, the ability of being able to go onto iTunes, and getting any song at any time, is amazing), I still hold an attachment to the many CDs that occupy my bottom desk drawer. I collect CDs because I think that they are like art. The artist goes through so much to make the CD, from the cover art to it, to making sure everything is right. I love looking through the little booklets that come with them personally, in a way it's like you're learning about what's on the CD. (am I only person in the world that does that?)
Well, the point is, other than I'm a nerd with many CDs to keep me company on a Friday night, is that the decline of the 'record store' makes me sad, because then we are truely living a digital world. As much as it is great, sometimes, it's good to have things on hard copy.

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Power of Technology

This morning, I logged onto Twitter, and on my timeline, I saw this thing about the shooting of Colorado. I didn't know what was going on, so I quickly went on the safari app, and googled the colorado shooting. Within minutes, I was informed about the shooting, and what was going on.
Then, I got to thinking. Ten years ago, we consulted the news channels and the newspapers for news. I remember watching the chase of OJs car in LA at my grandparent's house. When my grandmother was a kid, she got news through the radio, and the newspapers. I recently saw the musical Newsies, and it amazed me how the news was when she was a kid. They used paper presses, and that's how people got the news. (I recommend that you all see it folks, the choreography was amazing) How do we get our news nowadays? We get our news through the Internet, whether on an iPod, (which I am using to write this), a smartphone, a tablet, and the computer. We learn things through social media, whether it's big news like this, or school side gossip. We can literally go onto Facebook and Twitter, and find information, even though sometimes it may not be a hundred percent right. Then, we would take the initiative to look things up, on a news site, to verify whether or not it's right.
It also amazes me how news can travel so quickly. Before you would have to wait for a newspaper or an evening news program. Now, when news happens, we can read it on the hour, sometimes even in the seconds after it happens. It's amazing how quickly we can get the information, how we can be informed and it's all because of technology that brings us to these news.
We are in a new era of getting information. We are in the future.

I also would like to take a moment to offer my condolences to the families and victims of this horrible tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys during this terrible time.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Taking Chances.

Today, I was watching the Ugly Betty episode, "Something Wicked this Way Comes". Basically the episode is about how Betty and Henry's relationship, how they try to hide it from prying eyes, and how they later realize that they have the share the little time that they have left together. At the end of this episode, Hilda tells Betty to not waste any moment that she has left to spend with Henry. She then tells her that if she had one last moment with her deceased husband, Santos, she would do it in a heartbeat, ignoring the fact that it might hurt her later on.
And that whole thing got me thinking. Not only about taking chances when it comes to love, but in life in general. How often do we let an opportunity slip us by, paralyzed by the fear of striking out. There was this movie, called a cinderella story. There was this quote in the movie that always kind of stayed with me, which is "never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". That quote basically means, don't let the fear of losing keep you from trying to win. Whether it's in Betty's case, when she's in love with someone who got another girl pregnant, or in a different scenario, when you're trying to try out for a team or something. We need to take a risk, because otherwise, we won't be living the life of our dreams. Instead you will be kicking yourself for the rest of your life for not taking that chance.
I sometimes have trouble taking my own advice, because the thought of taking a chance of any sort scares me. I fear rejection, and it's often blinded me to not do what I always wanted to do. But, as I grow into adulthood, I do realize that some times, you just have to take a chance.
Hilda in a way was right. We need to take a chance in our lives, and it might hurt, and it might not turn out the way that we are planning it to, but at the end of the day, at least we know what is meant to be. Take the chance that you always wanted to take, right here right now. Life is too short for us to be kicking ourselves in the shin for what we could have done. Some people might call you stupid, but hey, if you're happy, who gives a damn?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


I've been thinking about cake, lately. When getting my birthday cake (it's purple and has Snoopy on it), the box showed the occasions that cake has been sold in. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, confirmation, etc. Then I got to thinking: why does every occaison have to be marked by a cake? Why isn't it marked by something else, like pie, or a giant cookie or something.
But, there are businesses and television shows that are devoted to showcasing a baker's talent. Like Buddy on Cake Boss. That guy takes cake making to a whole different level. The cake boss literally makes pieces of art, not cake. The ones that were on last night's episode were purely amazing. Buddy, if you ever are reading this, kudos to you.
But, the thing that baffles me the most is why is it always cake?
But then, I got to thinking. Cake is something that we can share for years to come. Cake is like blue jeans; it comes in many different colors, shapes and sizes. There are vanilla cakes, chocolate cakes, red velvet cakes, and carrot cakes. (amoungst others). Each and every cake is like a symbol, to the person, to mark the celebration.
Maybe that's why we put candles in cakes instead of a birthday cookie.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


A couple of days ago, I turned 18. And since, I can't think of anything legit to write, I decided to write a list of 18 facts about myself. So here you go folks..:
  1. I prefer CDs over digital downloading. I don't know why, since I'm joined at the hip with my iPod, but it's much more permant to have a CD, so in case the computer breaks, then you have a hard copy of the music. That, and they are pretty. 
  2. I love cupcakes, better than actual cakes.
  3. I have seen every episode of Gilmore Girls, Ugly Betty, Sex and the City, Secret Life, Golden Girls, and Everybody Loves Raymond. I am often found to be quoting it on a daily basis.  
  4. The type of music I like changes weekly. I have over three thousand songs on my iTunes, however my favorite bands/artists: The Bangles, All Time Low, Demi Lovato, and Christina Aguilera. However, lately Luke Bryan is also on that list. 
  5. I have an obession with the eighties. 
  6. I spend at least a half of an hour outside a day, usually reading. I find the sun to be relaxing, and fresh air is always good. My favorite place to read is on the beach. I don't know why, it's just easier to concentrate. 
  7. I'm bad at math. Like really bad. However my favorite subject is English, as you probably guessed, since I enjoy reading and writing. I however enjoy history; there's something about learning about what happened yesterday, and how people lived that just fasicinates me.
  8. I'm currently listening to Country Girl (Shake it for me) by Luke Bryan. It's my theme song for the summer. 
  9. I have a snoopy obession. I seriously own everything that you can possibly think of. I am also wearing a snoopy shirt as I'm writing this, and my birthday cake
  10. I hate my cell phone. Like a lot. Right now, I'm trying to call someone and the call won't go through.
  11. When it comes to relationships, I tend to be really shy. I used to never be, but I guess with time, I kinda forgot how to make my 'move' and such. Needless to say, I'm not the best in the love department..
  12. I enjoy spending lots of time with my friends. Why? Cause they are awesome! As some saying from someone goes "I get by with the help of my friends".
  13. I've played the flute for nine years, and plan to contuie it through out college. 
  14. I'm not very coordinated, but I love to dance. (And tend to hurt myself in the process)
  15. My favorite color is purple. 
  16. My people who inspire me are: my mother, Demi Lovato, my grandfather, Christina Aguilera, Betty Swarez, and Lorelai GIlmore.
  17. I have four movies that I call my favorite: Dirty Dancing, Titanic, Sabrina, (1995) and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
  18. If I can live on one food for the rest of my life it would be soup, because a: it's good, and b: it's really good for you.

Friday, July 13, 2012


Today, while hanging out with a close friend of mine, a word of mine was brought to my attention. The word curious. The word simply means, according to my handy dandy dictionary, is eager to know something. We, as humans, tend to be curious about many things. Some might be curious about their sexuality. Others might be curious about the way the world works, like my friend is. Basically, whenever something puzzled him, like a word that we didn't know the defination of, or the distance between my college and my house (which is a solid 1.4 miles, folks), he would turn to his smart phone, and look it up. When I laughed and asked him why, he answered "because I'm curious."
Curiousity is a part of human nature. It's a part of the way that the world works, it's a part of the way humans are programmed. Often, people deny their curiousity because of fear of looking silly or laziness. But, if we gave into the whole curiousity thing, maybe we'll know more about the world around us. Ignorance can possibly be prevented.
What am I curious about? I'm curious about a lot of things. Most of them is the way that things work. Ireland. I want to travel, and explore the world. I want to play the flute, and maybe branch out to piccolo (I'm more curious about the piccolo, since I consider myself to be an advanced flute player.)
My point is that maybe we should indulge ourselves in our curiousity, enjoy it's sugary sweetness, and use it to be more well rounded.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


Tomarrow is my 18th birthday. The birthday that fully makes me a legal adult. I can now vote, get a piercing with out a parent's consent, buy lottery tickets, smoke cigarettes, and face all criminal charges as an adult. Like graduation, I felt like this day would never come, yet now that it has, I can't help but want it all back. I miss the days of childhood, when I would play with dolls, and read oodles of chapter books. I used to read at least fifty books a summer. I miss the days of middle school (okay maybe not so much) trying to find my place in a world that accerlated quickly. But most of all, I'll miss high school. I'll miss band classes with my crazy teachers, I'll miss having lunch in the libary with my friends, I'll miss walking around with people, and of course, I'll miss my badminton team.
This stage of my life is so unpredictable. I wonder if I'll still be friends with people who I now am so close to. There are people who I fear so much that I'll lose touch with, who I really don't want to. I feel the open arms of my college campus welcome me, but I still feel tied down with my former life, and feelings.
They say that the high school years are your best years. When I heard that, as a freshman, I just laughed in the person's face. Here I was in a school with little organized guidance department, and with a desperate desire for friends and a boyfriend, and it was supposed to be great? I wanted to know what the hell was wrong with them, because clearly they were wrong.
Now looking back, they were right. Sure, high school had it's up and downs, but overall it was an awesome time for me. I met SO many awesome and diverse people, got to experience being in a relationship for the first time (Yes, I did get my heart broken, but I lived and learned), learned what is good, and not good for my body and most of all was able to find out who I wasn't. I have the next four years to discover who I am now, but yet I still want a little more time to be a minor.
But before I turn's some lessons I want to share with my friends who are still in high school (and love you all A LOT).
  1. You only live once. Everyday could be your last, you just never know what the hell is going to be accross the corner, or down the street. 
  2. Somethings are worth fighting for. Love, or a cause, those things are worth the fight.
  3. Never confine what society or anyone wants you to be. Be who you want to be. The people who put you down are either jealous, or just complete jerks. 
  4. Listen to your heart. Sometimes, it might not make sense, or even come out in a way that it does, but your heart knows (sometimes, better than you do) what you want. Put it's volume up, and give it a listen. 
  5. Everyone has probelms. Everyone has their own sad stories to tell. You're not alone in the world. 

Monday, July 9, 2012


Your ghost, still haunts me in the door frame of my mind,
Your flaming hair, left behind.
I move on,
But I still hear you,
Calling me incompetent,
Leaving me those messages.
Three years ago, we made that promise,
Three years ago, it was broken. 
I never got closure,
I just got tears,
I just got pain.
I stand now, a woman whose three days shy of eighteen,
And run from the fear of never feeling so I won't get hurt.
I don't love you.
I don't hate you.
I just knew you.
I wish you luck,
I wish you love.
But that doesn't change the bitter memory of your existance.
It doesn't undo the damage.
It doesn't erase the fact that you were once here.
You're just a ghost from my fast,
Destroying  my future.
But my fears of you,
Won't make me look back.
I have to get past your ghost.
Maybe that would make it finally disappear.

Sunday, July 8, 2012


Sometimes, we get so caught up in the big things and the fast paced lifestyle of life that we forget the simple things that make us happy. Sometimes, the simple things are the things that create overall happiness. Things like chocolate, things like frosting, things like cookies, sitting in the sun with a novel, and things like sunshine. Yes, I'm aware that almost all of those things are food, but whatever. It's the simple things, like chocolate that can equal happiness.
I buy myself a chocolate bar once a week, and eat a little bit each day. Or rather, I eat a lot in the span of a few days, but you all get the picture. Whenever I eat that chocolate, I experience some kind of bliss, that for a few moments, I feel happy. Bubbly, even.
To me, chocolate is happiness. It's the littiest thing, yes. But I'm always happy and giddy when I eat it. Happiness is also cupcakes with LOTS of frosting, cookies, nutella, a marathon of Gilmore Girls, reading on a beach, Snoopy, and spending time with those I love. They might not be the richest stuff, but it's happiness for me, and being happy is sometimes an important thing in life.
Happiness is chocolate.

Friday, July 6, 2012

I Am A Woman.

I'm a woman.
I've in love, and I've been in hurt.
I've been hated by some,
I've been loved by many.
I've lost my way.
I'm a woman,
I've grown from collecting dolls,
To crying over love.
I've seen many friends come and go,
Yet I still stand tall.
I'm a woman.
I don't need anyone,
Yet I want someone to love.
I want to have someone to tell me I mean the world to him,
I want to be kissed goodnight.
I'm a woman.
Shoes are my best friend,
I can never have enough jewelry.
I line my lips with lipstick,
and cover my flaws with foundation.
I'm a woman.
I may not be perfect,
But I am me.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

All Love is Blind.

There's this Alicia Keys song that goes something like "It's too bad because all love is blind". In a way, that's the truest statement on the planet. I've been watching it, in both people, and in reality TV shows. I've been watching friends, and people who are paid to complain about their lives on a camera go through it.
Why is it like that though? Why do we see that one person of interest as being perfect, having no flaws, almost as if they weren't actually human? Is it the way that love is supposed to be? 
Honestly, I want to be in love with a human, or someone who I don't think of as being on a pedastal. I want imperfect love; the kind where you don't worry about what you're wearing or the makeup, I want cracked love. I want to be able to eat in front of someone, and not feel ashamed. (yes, I've read somewhere that girls do tend to do that, and I think that it's completely stupid.) I want someone to love me, but also the imperfect side of me.
But love can sometimes blind us to the point where we can't see real probelms that need to be seen. For example, in abusive relationships, the victim tends to not see the fact that their relationship is twisted, the fact that they are being hit by someone that they love and it shouldn't happen. Love is supposed to be happy, not full of bruises, mentally or emotionally. We don't see this rather big flaw, because we love that someone and we just want them.
In the hit television show the hills, I see that with Heidi and Spencer. (Yes, I watch the Hills, it's quite addicting) Spencer basically pressured Heidi to move in with him, and I don't think that's a very good idea, especially on his end. You don't pressure someone you love. You just wait.
Overall, love is perhaps the blindest thing that we as humans can ever stumble accross. Sometimes, we just need to put our glasses on, and maybe, we can see the cracks. 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


Someone once said that 'we have nothing to fear but fear itself.'Logan from Gilmore Girls once said that 'people can live a thousand years but not really living a day'. Fear is what keeps us from living. It's this invisible force between us and actually experiencing the fruits of life; the sweet fruit of risk tastes much better than the bland bread of safety. Fear is what keeps us from living the way we want to. As some guy wearing a robe in Star Wars had said 'the things you fear the most you need to lose', or something like that. I can't exactly remember what it was.
My biggest fear is falling in love or romantic relationships. I've experienced my share of bad men in my life, and all that sad stuff. I'm afraid to fall for someone and then waking up and them realizing that im not as special as they once made me out to be. I fear being cheated on, due to my parents divorce. I fear being a crazy girlfriend, you know like they ones that write crazy gf probelms on twitter? I fear most of all of losing myself, who I am, my hopes and my dreams, throwing them out the window for a guy.
Sometimes I wish that I can find a relationship. I wish that someone was there by my side to tell me that they think I'm pretty damn special. I wish I could have a chance to take a risk. I am tired of not and i think I'm ready to do something about it.
Maybe it's time I take the plunge.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Behind the Eyes

In my old AP pyschology class, we learned about the fundamental attribution error. What basically it means is that we are too quick to judge someone's actions without actually getting to know them. Like if someone is cutting you off in a road then you will probably call them an asshole or a jerk. However, they could be doing that because they are I. A hurry because a loved one is in the hospital or some other dramatic reason.
In high school, I've noticed that happen so many times. There was this girl on my bus that literally annoyed the crap out of me everyday. However I e day, she was crying about how hard her home life is. I have this friend whose home life is horrible an finds refuge in her boyfriends home because of her parents drama. Another friend deals with the confusion of being gay.
Some people tend to judge just based on how you appear. Some people tend to never look past the eyes. They tend to look at the appearance of them rather than the pain that's behind them. Judging someone by their appearance is simply a part of human nature. In the movie hitch, I learned close to 70 percent of things said are non verbal and based on appearance.That means what you see is what you get.
I'm a person with many layers of personality. As the guy in the Blind Side said "She's like an onion-you've got to peel her one layer at a time". I'm like that too. I have many layers of my personality. I struggle with my wieght, loniliness, and the desire for a father figure in my life. I wish sometimes I could walk around without a fear in the world, to be able to jump and not give a shit about the fall, and not care. But that's not the person I am.
I know that life has things happen for a reason. I think what comes around goes around. I think that I shouldn't have the fears that I do, but at night, they lie beside me. In my dreams, I am in a happy place, a utopia of no fears of the fall. I have a father figure, one who loves me and doesn't want to screw me over. I want a friend, a campanion. A beagle or a cat would suffice. Behind my eyes, lies a vulenerable girl whose not as tough as she looks.
Why don't you look behind the eyes?