Hey there internetters. So, I'm failing at writing a 50,000 word novel. Don't mock me, because it's really hard. That, and I have writer's block, so yeah, here I am blogging.
I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been feeling like my life is
changing seasons overnight. I graduated high school, and started
college, and still haven't adjusted to that change yet. Now, I'm looking
down the road for my classes next semester. And of course, it's the
most stressful thing ever, so cue the stress. I often wish I could go
back to the days when guidance conselors, even though the did it wrong,
could arrange a schedule for me. I miss those firefly catching days. I
miss my friends, well the good ones. Especially the ones who over the
past few years. I don't necesarily miss high school, however I miss the
way things were when I was in high school. I miss, most of all, a friend
who somehow become a huge part of my life, who I now rarely get to see
or talk to. It's hard, especially since he was such a big part of my
high school life, that seeing him in college is a rarity. I sometimes
wonder if he's forgotton about me, even though deep down, I know he's
just busy. I miss my old teachers, and carrying another friend's stuff
for him in the hallway. I seriously thought he thought I was a packmule.
However, I did realize something. I myself have changed. I'm no longer as depressed as I was in high school. To be honest, I never felt happier with myself. I try to read the newspaper every day so I have something decent to talk about, and know what's going on in the world around me. I try to read a lot, but
sometimes, you know homework gets in the way. I study harder than I ever
have in my life, and rarely get sleep. But, I know that once I get
through the first year of suckiness, then the rest of the time that I
have to come will only get easier.
I also came at peace with
myself, and for the first time in my life, I don't compare myself as a
fat hippo. I think of myself as imperfect, and damn you people for
thinking that I have to be. I'll make mistakes, and then eventually I'll
get things right. But I'm young. And I want to live my life as I want
to. I don't need your iput nor support. I just need your respect.
Thank you, and good night. Or morning...
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