I've been in this weird melancholy kind of mood lately. I've been thinking about how things used to be, and how things are now. I've been feeling like I've screwed up everything in my past; old friendships, to love affairs. I keep on thinking about what I've could have done to change how my life is now, how I could have done something better. Yes, I'm a matyr, but that's okay.
I realize that there is no way of rewinding life. I wish there was, but modern day science hasn't come up with a cure to fixing screw ups. I wish I could, but I can't. It's the way the world works, and we have to move on and accept it for what it is. We can't do more to the situation then what we've already done. Sometimes, things are also best left not to touch, because then you'll only hurt yourself more. It's sad, but it's true.
Over the past year, I've had to decide what to leave in my past and what to bring to my future. Unfortunatly, sometimes, it means we've lost friends who we thought that we would always have. Other times, we realize how dominant others' presence is in our lives, and without them in it, it sucks.
However, in life we can not get too comfortable. There's a time when we're meant to be happy, and there's times when we're meant too be sad. Don't mess with what's meant to be; that's some serious shit, folks.
I guess the Fray puts it the best: "You can't fall away from your past, it's following you."