Thursday, January 8, 2015

Society and the Single Girl: Single Shaming.

Single shaming: When people in relationships make those who are not in relationships feel like crap because they are not in a relationship that is as awesome and lovely as theirs. 
Examples: "My boyfriend is the best but you won't understand."
"Do you want me to set you up with someone?"
"Maybe you should get a Tinder."

Warning. This can be used at times when you are feeling the most happiest about your life and then the need to justify your lifestyle usually follows.

Before I begin this lovely thought out message, let me just say something. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. However, in most of our culture it is forseen as a curse. In many cultures, the concept of a woman being married is perhaps more important than her accomplishments, no matter how great they may be. Law school? PhD? Or even an MD? Nope, not as important as being married.
Since there is such a great accomplishment in being married or even having a significant other, it puts a lot of pressure on people to get a significant other. It makes women who otherwise have a lot going for them (i.e. money, education and a great paying job) feel like complete and total failure. And that is utterly stupid.
How many of you have seen the show Sex and the City? (It's personally the best thing that anyone can watch, so watch it.) That is the best example of single shaming because the show centers around the idea of being single and awesome. There's one episode about a former party girl turned Connecticut snob, married women threatened by the single person, and an episode about a married person giving Carrie a hard time because she spends a crazy amount of money on shoes. (Well, if the shoe fits..) Sex and the City has a boatload of examples of single shaming, proving that this is an actual thing.
Single shaming is the relationship version of body shaming. I think we should personally stop making others ashamed of their shortcomings, such as relationships, weight and other nonsense. I personally think that people who make others feel bad for the things that we don't have. #byeFelicia Chances are, these homies are people with their own insecurities. Maybe they worry that their significant other is cheating on them with the nanny or something.
For all of you in relationships and are doing this, get the hell out off your high horse. You were single at one point or another, and who knows, you might be single again. Single people are pretty awesome too. They should get a medal or something because they do it alone.  Just because you're in a wonderful relationship (or say so on Facebook) doesn't mean that you have the right to say that other people are less than you because they aren't.
The bottom line? Single, dating, or in a relationship? Stop shaming all over the place. It's not wanted. Or even needed.

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