Under the (Negative) Influence

Last week, I wrote one of the most honest blog entries in a long time about my struggles with depression and anxiety. Now, I'm writing to talk more about it, because it's something that has taken center stage in my life, sadly. Furthermore, it's something that's affecting every avenue in my life, and something I have to deal with.
Today, I want to talk about something my therapist bought up to me in a session. He said to avoid people that bring you down during this negative time, because it's only going to drag you down even farther. If someone's making you feel bad or upset while talking to them, then just don't talk to them. After that session, I realized there was a grain of truth to what he said, and that through out my circle of friends I've been feeling dragged down by some. Whenever a friend says I'm anxious or upset, I am tempted to shout "try living my life! I have anxiety! I have three jobs! I go to school. I have no free time." That's not the most helpful thing in the world to do, but sometimes I feel that way.
While a lot of my friends are going through a difficult time themselves, I'm now beginning to realize that some people have truly made me upset to talk to. It's not that I'm upset with them or that I don't care about them, it's just I feel constantly dragged down whenever they complain. That's why in turn, I try to avoid talking about my struggles unless you are one of my closest friends. I'm fearful of being that friend who constantly brings everyone down.
As I deal with my anxiety, I'm realizing something. I'm realizing that I need to put myself first. Just like it's not someone's responsibility to 'fix' me, it's also not my responsibility to fix someone else's mess. As a friend, I can be empathetic and there for you when you need a hug or someone to talk to. But, it's also not my problem to fix what's wrong in your life. If you're constantly complaining about not having something and not doing something about it, chances are I'm not going to want to have you around me anymore. It's cruel and mean, yes. But I'm not in the place to be dragged down, because I have something else going on.
There's some friends who make me feel better about things, and are positive influences in my life. However, there's some that truly are not the case whatsoever. Selena Gomez once said "you are who you surround yourself with." Since hearing that, I can truly identify with what she was saying. I have some good friends already, however, if you're going to complain about your life consistently, I'm going to either encourage you to change it or talk to someone who can. Problems, can be fixed, just like things can. Sometimes, I'm not the resource to do so.
At the end of the day, being a good friend is important. However, Natalie's mental health is something I think is as well.