Rambling at Ten AM

Hey there internetters. So, I'm failing at writing a 50,000 word novel. Don't mock me, because it's really hard. That, and I have writer's block, so yeah, here I am blogging.
Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been feeling like my life is changing seasons overnight. I graduated high school, and started college, and still haven't adjusted to that change yet. Now, I'm looking down the road for my classes next semester. And of course, it's the most stressful thing ever, so cue the stress. I often wish I could go back to the days when guidance conselors, even though the did it wrong, could arrange a schedule for me. I miss those firefly catching days. I miss my friends, well the good ones. Especially the ones who over the past few years. I don't necesarily miss high school, however I miss the way things were when I was in high school. I miss, most of all, a friend who somehow become a huge part of my life, who I now rarely get to see or talk to. It's hard, especially since he was such a big part of my high school life, that seeing him in college is a rarity. I sometimes wonder if he's forgotton about me, even though deep down, I know he's just busy. I miss my old teachers, and carrying another friend's stuff for him in the hallway. I seriously thought he thought I was a packmule. I miss
However, I did realize something. I myself have changed. I'm no longer as depressed as I was in high school. To be honest, I never felt happier with myself. I try to read the newspaper every day so I have something decent to talk about, and know what's going on in the world around me. I try to read a lot, but sometimes, you know homework gets in the way. I study harder than I ever have in my life, and rarely get sleep. But, I know that once I get through the first year of suckiness, then the rest of the time that I have to come will only get easier.
I also came at peace with myself, and for the first time in my life, I don't compare myself as a fat hippo. I think of myself as imperfect, and damn you people for thinking that I have to be. I'll make mistakes, and then eventually I'll get things right. But I'm young. And I want to live my life as I want to. I don't need your iput nor support. I just need your respect.
Thank you, and good night. Or morning...

Announcements.

Hey guys!
How did you all make it through the storm?
I first wanted to say that my heart goes out to ALL of the victims of Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy. I pray for you guys and that you all have a fast recovery. I'm posting a link at the bottom of the entry in case ya'll are interested in donating/helping out
Anyways, I also would  like to make an announcement. As some of you know, I'm currently working on NanoWriMo (National Writing Month.) Basically, the point of that is that I'm going to be writing a 50,000 word novel in this month. Between that and school, my time for blogging will be sparse. So please, bear with me in the next month, as I try to kick ass with writing 50,000 and I shall resume blogging normally again in December.
Peace!
For Information of my NanoWriMo Project:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/nattbarletta
For Information on helping out hurricane sandy victims:
http://www.redcross.org/

"Straight-edged, not Straight Laced."

Lately, I've been in touch with thinking about my sobriety. On a college campus, of course I have to come in contact with that. I've realized that drinking is something that I'm really not comfortable with doing. If I wanted to put mind altering poison in my body, I mean I would resort to drinking, but I'm just not into it. I mean, I tried it, because of the forbidden fruit theory (meaning that the more people tell you not to do it, the more into it you become) and really didn't enjoy it. But my peers dug it because they thought that it was cool. It was for them, but not for me.
I'm now straightedged. That means I'm not into that drinking and smoking shit. That doesn't make me a prude, and if you do it I won't judge you. I will however, if you're a close friend of mine, be concerned about your wellbeing, but the key thing here is that it's not my thing. I'm not straightlaced, and I know how to have fun. I don't think you need a bong or a shot to say that you're having a good time. (especially if it's a prom or something, wouldn't it be something that you want to remember) If you need to be drunk to have a good time, then you have some serious probelms.

Do They Really Know What's Best?

They say that mother does know best. I'm sure that line has appeared several times in your life. Probably even used by your own maternal figure. I know my mother uses that line quite faithfully. But my question here, is do they?
A mother is a bunch of things. A mother is a best friend who knows whats best for you. She's often the one to turn to when in crisis, because she's probably been there herself, and has a more worldly experience due to the fact of age.
However, sometimes that phrase doesn't apply. An example of this is basically the matters of the heart. As I mentioned in a previous entry, no one really knows what's best for you but yourself. An example of this happened recently with a friend. Her mother wanted her to break up with her boyfriend, and literally drove her to her boyfriend's house so she can break up with her. Whether her mother had good reasons of doing so, that's her feelings. However, only the girl can only know what's best for her. Only she can know that.
My mother sometimes thinks she knows what's best for me, especially in the romantic department. However, I don't exactly think of my mother as a great source, simply because due to the fact that she's been through a divorce, her perception is different then mine. As much as I love my mother, I hope she realizes that there are certain choices that need to be made by me. I know what's best for me. I love her input, but at the end of the day, I know what's best for me.
Mothers. They do know what's best, for them. But sometimes, the best thing to do is let a butterfly fly to where it's destined to be.

Fear; Part Two.

Lately my life has been a blur of one word. Future. The word that I've been trying to avoid for my entire life, its finally no longer able to avoid. I can't no longer avoid it.
I worry that I will become a loser, and fail. I worry that I'll be one of those who doesn't end up living a successful life, or find a job. I wonder if I chose to follow my dreams, will I end up a failure cause of it? Or even, if that's what I really want. Of course, I want to write. I want to write the books that will inspire people of all ages to dream, to imagine, and to grow. I want to be something big. I know it's going to be hard, but in the end, I know it's going to be worth it. But, what if I'm not good at this writing thing? What if I'm actually a horrible writer, and people just tell me that I'm good so I won't cry? What if I'm just going to end up an English teacher? (nothing wrong with teaching, it's just not the life I would choose for me) What if I'm never going to find a job, and going to have to flip burgers for the rest of my life?
I don't want to happen. Of course not. But sometimes, I wonder if I'm going to fail. Or screw up. I shouldn't, but here is fear, front and center.
Maybe, failure is something that makes us stronger. I look at the greats and I know that they went through the same thing that I did.
And I know that I too, will overcome it.

Fears.

I have a fear of a lot of things. For example, I'm afraid of heights. Like petrified. I can't even go up stairs without worrying that I'll fall. That's why I always walk ever so slowly up them, and annoy the other people behind me. (sorry people)
But, sometimes fears can cause us to miss out of wonderful, awesome things. And then we realize years later what they cause us to miss out on. Sometimes, it can be being able to sky dive. I mean, I would be too afraid to actually do it. But I'm sure it's such a great experience that one wouldn't mind experiencing.
Yesterday, I was watching Eat Pray Love. And it was towards the movie, when Liz and that guy that she likes so much are about to get into a boat, when she gets scared and runs. I began to wonder if I myself was afraid and how it let me be weary of the awesome things that were right in front of me. Maybe we're all afraid deep down, and we end up letting it get the best of us. Maybe we let our scars get in the way of what we could be.
How do we get rid of these fears? We face them. We can say fuck them, or we can let them get to us, and destroy what's around us like a hurricane. It's up to us to let these fears get to us. But, sometimes, they are worth letting go.

A Relationship is Like a Shoe...

I believe that a relationship is like a shoe. I believe this is like a shoe, because shoes are basically programmed to be fit by one person, and relationships, I believe are the same. They are made for you. Some can wear certain shoes. Others can't. The same goes for relationships. Some can do certain things, others can not.
I may not be in a relationship myself, unless you count my deep infatuation with Luke Bryan..(Hey, he's HOT), but I do think that it's something that's different for everyone. Some people have the relationship by pen pal or by email. Some people die without seeing their loved one for minutes. (or text. This is called obession folks.) Everyone has their different scenarios for their relationship issues.
The thing that does annoy me, which inspired me the most for writing this article, is that people always have something to say about someone's relationship. Leave them alone. It's their issue. If they are happy, then let them be happy. They know what their happiness is, probably better than you can. I understand that everyone has to say something, and you have your own opinions, but I feel like you need to also respect the parties that are involved. They know what's right for them better than you do. So, put your opinions where the sun don't shine.
This is also why I also refuse relationship advice. People don't exactly know how I'm feeling, and what is right for me, rather than them. I do often ask what people do think of the matter, but end up doing what's right for me in the end. 
Overal, I think what's right for one shouldn't be the overall way of being right for all. Don't think that something is right for someone is right for you. It was right for them. Not you.