I probably am breaking every rule in the blogging book by even talking about it. However, I am a blogger and a young woman and since these issues are important to me they will be discussed here.
Let me tell you all a bit about my relationship with sex. I am not sexually active, and I am a virgin. I am unsure where I stand on the whole waiting until I'm married thing to be honest. On one hand, I am unsure whether or not I am going to even be married. On the other, I know that I am not ready to have sex now and it's not in my immediate plans.
I do have standards for sex, and what my level of comfort is for me. In relationships, I plan not to have sex with someone at least for the first six months of our relationship. Once six months have passed, I want to bring the topic of sex to the table as discussion only. When I feel ready enough, I want my partner and I to be tested for STDs, have all of the protection possible, and of course have steady communication with each other.
I am writing this entry because I feel like we as a society shame people for having sex, yet at the same time we exploit it in our culture. We teach children that sex is bad, when in reality it is a part of nature. I hate that some use the excuse that it's not their religion as a free pass to judge someone for having sex. Yes, abstence is important, but for some it's not the case.
And it needs to stop.
What bothers me the most is when people shame others for simply taking charge of their sexual health. Those who are comfortable enough to talk about getting protection should be appluaded Call me crazy, but those who often hide behind closed doors about sex are the ones that aren't getting informed. I'm lucky that if I have a question that I have someone to confide in, but not many are fortunate enough to have that.
It may not be the easiest topic on my blog, but I believe that it's going to be the most important. For those who have questions, talk. I hate that we live in a society that is surronded by the 'shoulds' because it makes people really feel bad about about themselves if it's not right. Everyone is different and shouldn't be hidden behind the standards that society sets.
Whether you're deciding to wait or you've already had many partners, make that decision based on what's best for you. Be proud of it, and truly own it. Be responsible about it, and make sure that if you're not planning to have children you are taking the necessary measures such as birth control and condoms.
Talk to your mothers, your friends, or even just someone that you can talk to comfortably. It doesn't matter, but having these kinds of conversations are the best thing we can do. Talk to your partner because communication, I've learned is important. The best thing that we can do about this ambigous topic is to simply make it less about shame, and more a topic of comfort.