A question that I've been asked a lot lately is how do I feel about my change from psychology and English to just English. I actually wasn't sure how to answer this question, so I often replied with a simple "I Don't Know". However, I do have a lot of random mixed up emotion that consists of this subject and this subject matter.
On one side of the coin, I'm sad that I will never be a social worker, psychiatrist, or psychologist. I feel this way because I had a deep desire to help people. Psychology to me was this unknown full of information that will always be new to me. Every day, I would learn something different as to how people behave the way that they did. Becoming a therapist to me would have been the equivalent to becoming superwoman. I may not have worn a cape and been able to fly, but I would have been able to help people get a better life. I understand that for me, a person with a disorder that can perhaps never be overcome, it would have been challenging. I loved that becoming a therapist involving the unknown aspect of learning, when I would be doing something completely different than what writing involved.
The struggle wasn't because I couldn't rise up to it. The struggle was because I would constantly have to leave a class, and have to make up work. I failed a few tests because of it. Granted, it wasn't my fault, but something had to change.
On the other side of that coin, I feel relieved. Honestly, like I mentioned in a previous post, the pressure just got to me. I had to maintain a high GPA, and when I had tests I would study to the point of no return. I wanted to be the best, and the pressure was just overwhelming. Looking at my school's banner site, (which is where my program is stated), there's just English no psychology what so ever.
My future consists of me becoming a journalist, and writer. I may want to go back to school to do some psychology, but for now English is the word. Another component, perhaps the component that is the truest is that I've always loved writing. I always loved being able to tell stories, and change the world somehow some way through words. Words that I've written, can you imagine that? It's a field that literally is my domain, and my calling.
So I'm afraid I'll never be Superwoman. I'll never be able to help people with dementia, and I'll never be able to make someone change their cognitive views. But maybe, I'll be able to change the world through out my own views? Only time can tell.