I've heard too many times that when you feel happiness, you're taking the bull by the horns and deciding what's best for you. In essence, you're putting yourself first. Your needs, wants, and desires. And, if someone doesn't like it, then you're shit out of luck. This left me wondering. Is the secret of happiness is in fact to be selfish?
We live in a very me, me, me, society. I want this. I want that. With the rise of online shopping, we can get whatever we want, at whatever hours. No more confinement of store hours, we can get that wonderful bag for a lot less.Even at three o'clock in the morning when you can't sleep. (you shouldn't probably buy stuff then). But whatever happened to being caring and nice? You know all of that good stuff?
I think that the secret of happiness is being able to balance being selfish, and being giving. If you're not happy doing that thing for other people, then you shouldn't be doing that. I think that it's important to give to others, because it makes them happy.
But, I also think there comes a certain point when what you want goes on the back burner. When you realize that you're living a life that is always everyone else's wants, desires, and needs. I think that's important to listen to your friend cry, but to a certain point. Of course, it's important for you to listen to what's wrong. That's in the formula of being a good friend. However, you have limits. For example, if that friend has a crisis every night, or that friend has become a bad influence on you, then you have to take a step back and realize that maybe you should cut them out. So, when she's crying to you and your giant mountain of homework is haunting you, you then remind her that you can listen for a half of an hour, tops. Then you have to do your homework.
Setting boundaries like that is what I think keeps relationships healthy. A healthy relationship is a happy relationship. Cliche, but completely and totally true. My personal favorite example is friends. Friends who don't understand your limits and boundaries and just take from you aren't exactly the best people to have in your life. People that tell you what to do, and drag you around like a puppy on a leash aren't the people that you'd want to have in your life. A friend is supposed to bring you up when you're down, not kick you when you're down. The same goes for boyfriends, and other people in your life. You have to realize that you're a person, not someone's personal punching bag. I think that's a concept that everyone really needs to learn.
At the end of the day, I think it's important to be a combination of the both. Be selfish when you need to be, and give when you can. I think it's important to do what's best to make you happy, despite what others can think.
We live in a very me, me, me, society. I want this. I want that. With the rise of online shopping, we can get whatever we want, at whatever hours. No more confinement of store hours, we can get that wonderful bag for a lot less.Even at three o'clock in the morning when you can't sleep. (you shouldn't probably buy stuff then). But whatever happened to being caring and nice? You know all of that good stuff?
I think that the secret of happiness is being able to balance being selfish, and being giving. If you're not happy doing that thing for other people, then you shouldn't be doing that. I think that it's important to give to others, because it makes them happy.
But, I also think there comes a certain point when what you want goes on the back burner. When you realize that you're living a life that is always everyone else's wants, desires, and needs. I think that's important to listen to your friend cry, but to a certain point. Of course, it's important for you to listen to what's wrong. That's in the formula of being a good friend. However, you have limits. For example, if that friend has a crisis every night, or that friend has become a bad influence on you, then you have to take a step back and realize that maybe you should cut them out. So, when she's crying to you and your giant mountain of homework is haunting you, you then remind her that you can listen for a half of an hour, tops. Then you have to do your homework.
Setting boundaries like that is what I think keeps relationships healthy. A healthy relationship is a happy relationship. Cliche, but completely and totally true. My personal favorite example is friends. Friends who don't understand your limits and boundaries and just take from you aren't exactly the best people to have in your life. People that tell you what to do, and drag you around like a puppy on a leash aren't the people that you'd want to have in your life. A friend is supposed to bring you up when you're down, not kick you when you're down. The same goes for boyfriends, and other people in your life. You have to realize that you're a person, not someone's personal punching bag. I think that's a concept that everyone really needs to learn.
At the end of the day, I think it's important to be a combination of the both. Be selfish when you need to be, and give when you can. I think it's important to do what's best to make you happy, despite what others can think.
This post is so true and beautifully written! It is easy to be too selfish or too selfless. The balance is what is important
ReplyDeleteI agree! And thank you so much for the compliment!
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