"Turning Page"

When spring comes, all of the animals come out from hiding. That's when the flowers begin to bloom, and all of the dirty snow at last goes away.

In a way, I am at the spring time of my life. I am about to bid my teens goodbye, and become a woman  in her twenties. And, I guess you can say that I am at the high point of my life. I have so much going for me, and I just want to experience life. I don't want to look back on my life and worry that I didn't live it enough. 

One thing that many friends of mine have are boyfriends. I however, don't. In some ways, I want to have the relationship that everyone says that it's the cutest thing, and feel all of the cliche things that Hallmark cards make their millions from. At the same time, that thing fucking scares me. I'm scared because I'm worried that I'll find someone that makes me happy. Then I'll get used to them, and one day they won't be there. As much as I want to be in a relationship, maybe its not my time. Maybe its time for me to eat life, not look at it and wish that the chocolate doughnut would magically fall into my mouth.

So many people often have told me not to do this, and not to do that. Sometimes, when you really think about things then you realize what is right for you.

And what is right for me?

I want to live. I want to go. I want to learn how to stand on my own two feet. I want to meet someone who understands me-my jokes, that sometimes I have walls that I want to be let down, and that I just want a cupcake at the end of the day. I want someone who will stop at nothing to make me laugh, and isn't afraid to look like a moron. I want to meet a smorgasboard of people, to figure out what I like. I want to read a lot of books, and even write a couple. I want to report things, real things, and I want to meet someone who would read my stuff. I want someone to watch chick flicks with me, but then lets me watch educated movies with them. Or whatever their into. 

In honor of spring, I shed my winter layers, and I shed my former ideals. My goal? To get out there, and actually do something with my life instead of wishing that something would happen.