Wednesday, February 3, 2016

One Door Opens, One Door Closes

I guess you can say that this is going to be a period of transition for me. Many know that I'm unhappy with my life, and how things are going in it. This includes my situations with the combination of work and school, which lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. This went on for months and months.
One of the things that was causing me great anxiety was where I was working. It wasn't the job itself. I worked in the campus library, and the job consisted of shelf reading, putting books in order and ensuring that there was order in the library. When the library was dead, I would have the option of doing homework or getting some blog work done. However, I had a supervisor that wasn't the best to work for, to say the least. I'm not going to go into detail here, because I don't want to bash anyone, but she wasn't fair with hours and rules. Basically, the rules would apply to some and not to all. I would be getting the least glamorous hours, from working on Saturdays (which I didn't mind), and not getting enough hours to support myself.
While I took my job seriously, I was frustrated with how I was treated as I wasn't her favorites. I tried riding it out, and eventually consulting my head boss. Nothing changed. This went on for a year and a half, causing me anxiety about my job. Towards the end of my time there, I approached work with absolute dread. I hated my job. I needed to leave, because I couldn't let it control me.
About a week ago, I had gotten the position as a student worker at my campus accounts payable office. I would be doing simple secretarial tasks and sort out mail. I'm optimistic that this job seems like a better fit for me, and hopefully my new officemates and boss will treat me with fairness, something I crave more than anything. I'm extremely optimistic about this new opportunity, as it will hopefully alleviate my anxiety, and make things a million times more bearable for me. I don't disregard this opportunity as something that was a negative one, rather I look at it as something that taught me how to deal with mean people as they will always exist.
As I head into the next chapter in my life which include a new job, getting into the English Honors Society, I hopefully will leave my anxiety behind. I also will be leaving behind some toxic people, whether they may be that boss or friends that I should have cut off a long time ago. All of this in the intention of heading to a new direction in my life, one where I'm not weighed down by my anxiety, or toxic people. You only live once, so why should you live with things that make you either anxious or unhappy? Slowly but surely, I'm embracing these new opportunities, as I close one door and enter a new one. I'm unsure what exactly it's going to bring, however, I'm reading to unlock it with a shiny key to find out. 

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