Recently, I was watching an episode on Doctor Phil when the husband was emotionally abusing his wife. He said the only way that he would get back with her was if she lost some weight, like 50-100 pounds worth of weight, and she started paying more attention to him. He often praises himself as being a 'catch', and 'completely irresistible to women.' And on top of it all, he was cheating on her with a range of 8-15 women throughout their marriage.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the king of all scum. I also present to you emotional abuse, and unhealthy relationships at its finest.
In this kind of relationship, we often question the woman that's in this relationship. The man is a creep, and a complete idiot for lack of better words. However, I feel sad for the woman because she thinks that is the best that she's ever gotten. Her self-respect, in addition to her self-esteem, and her self worth were gone. Her husband was to blame, and I think he should face some sort of punishment. At the very least, someone should kick him where the sun don't shine.
As I was watching this, I realized that the woman on the show wasn't alone. There were thousands of women who probably were in some sort of unhealthy relationship. Whether its the type that leaves a physical or an emotional bruise, many of us have once been into some sort of unhealthy relationship. And it bugs me, because these types of relationships lack things that normal relationships lack. They lack space, respect, and trust.
No one on this earth deserves to be treated by someone they are involved with romantically with horribly. Relationships are supposed to make you happy in every way possible. They shouldn't make you cry, and they shouldn't feel like a war-zone. We all deserve someone that treats us with respect, and gives us our breathing room.
I've written a lot about abusive relationships, and it's a subject that I am passionate about because I want dating violence to stop. It's not that difficult to sustain a healthy relationship. You have to trust that person when you're not around. You have to have friends, and things going on in your life that isn't that other person. You have to speak up for yourself when you're getting put down, because you don't deserve that.
So, what are the signs of an abusive relationships? For starters, if someone who doesn't let you see your friends, insults your weight/style, and tries to insult you, they are abusing you. If they are hitting you, than they are abusing you. Love shouldn't hurt, and love shouldn't leave you in tears. Abusive relationships can be stopped with one thing and that is awareness. I may not have all of the signs here, but a quick google search can have even more.
I've heard somewhere that you should be with someone who doesn't think that they deserve you, and I half agree with that. I agree with that because they will treat you in a way that makes you feel like you're a queen on a throne. They will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Although you shouldn't put someone on a pedestal, which is something that I am uncomfortable with, everyone deserves someone to treat them right. Man, woman, gender-queer, or trans, you all deserve to feel love. You know real, inconvenient, can't live without you sort of love. The kind that makes you feel good about yourself in the morning when you wake up, and seeing them makes you feel so bubbly it's like your insides are floating in soda. You don't deserve someone who makes you swim in a blood bath, and makes you cry on the regs. It's sad that many people lower themselves just for the sake of feeling lonely, because they don't deserve it.
As long as I'm alive, you'll be loved by one person on the planet. I can talk to you all until I am blue in the face about how you all deserve healthy relationships to help us grow into healthy and strong individuals, and you all can do one of three things. Talk, to whoever. Whether it's a person that you think is a part of these relationships, or just in general to a bunch of girlfriends during Sunday brunch. You can listen to someone whose in this situation. Or, if you are in an abusive relationship realize that you deserve much more than someone who wants to beat you down.
This is Doctor Natalie, and I am wishing you good mental health Internet.