Society and the Single Girl: The Correct Way of Falling

Love is something that is strange. Everyone on this Earth carries a love story in their pocket. Some of their stories ended in tears and tragedy, while others ended in joy. Every story, however, is different then the next. It varies in cast of characters and situation. However, they all have the common bond which is love.
As a clueless teenager who didn't know anything about love, I would read magazines such as Seventeen and Cosmo! I would use them as bibles to tell me how to talk to a guy and flirt with him effectively so that he would ask me out. I would read over them intently, memorizing their content better than I ever did for any exam in high school. I thought they contained the answers on how to score a boyfriend, but I ended up spending most of my high school time being single. All of those magazines would say different things about relationships. Some would say to jump into it without thinking about, while others would say that you need to test the waters before jumping in headfirst. Needless to say, the teenaged version of my was extremely confused as to what was the "correct" way to score a boyfriend. None of the flirting concepts felt right, and none of them ever felt like me.
Disregarding the matter of whether or not I needed a guy by my side to rule, I don't believe there's a correct way to get a boyfriend. Everyone has a love story, and it's not written according to the rules set by someone in a magazine. Some people fall in love with their best friend. Others fall in love with their neighbor. Some people go online to meet someone whose the person whose right for them. My best friend Gabu met their boyfriend online while they were studying abroad. Their parents met when they were in college. An old friend from high school met her boyfriend in college. Former classmates of mine met in the halls of my high school. See? Everyone's story is different, but it's still beautiful. As I still search for Prince Charming, I wonder what my story complete with a happily ever after will be like. While I believe that it's a question of fate and being at the right place at the right time, I also believe that it's up to you as well. You could search left and right to find someone, and not find anyone. You go on Tinder with the belief that it's going to find someone. But, unless you go out with that person who you gave a green heart to, you're not going anywhere and your relationship status won't change. Sure, you found a cute guy to talk to, but it doesn't mean anything because you didn't get his number or ask him out to coffee.
So, to the younger version of myself and those who credit their education of the opposite sex to a stack of magazines, here's my advice. I believe that you should throw out the magazines, and do whatever your little heart desires. Talk to that person, do things your way. Don't listen to others, and try to ignore the rules that others believe is right. In love, there's nothing right other than what is right for you. If you find someone who takes your breath away, talk to them and see where it goes. There's no correct way to find someone and to fall in love. It's 2016, you can ask a guy for his number. It happens to everyone at different paces. Sure, the magazines may be helpful, but the editors don't know you by name and story. So, do yourself a favor and listen to your heart. I can vouch that it knows you better than you know yourself. 

Society and the Single Girl: What Does It All Mean?

Nowadays, there's so many different kinds of relationships that go much further than the 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' label. There's friends with benefits, there's people who get together for sex and of course there's just two people having fun without the label. However, I must ask the hard question. How do you define a relationship? Like the real thing, where suddenly you feel it in your bones that he's the one. (Or she) What if you're committed to each other, but not to the label of significant other or partner? What is someone to do?

I don't know much about dating. My past two relationships were about five years apart. Both of those people were people who considered themselves to be my boyfriend. Especially the first. The second thing was something...but I didn't know what it was. And instead of having fun and enjoying it for what it was at face value, I constantly stressed out over what this was and where was it going. 

Now, as I enter my twenties, I ask myself what does this all mean? What does it mean to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it someone that you have fun with, really like to the point where they are the root of your smile and just want to be with? Or, is it someone who you like to spend time with, and you don't want to be with anyone else? That's my definition of a significant other or a boyfriend/girlfriend, but having that label in some senses equals that extra security blanket. Is the label just that extra thing to have, kind of like one would have extra money? And what does the label mean, exactly? What if you have something that is better than what those with labels entail, but once the label is put on, then things shift?

I have so many questions, which is good for a journalist. However, it's bad when I'm impatiently waiting for the answers. I've written about relationships in my blogs in the last five years, but I wonder even if I got older if I'm wiser. I still don't have the answers to everything. Whenever I talk to a cute guy, getting his number is so scary for me. I don't know what it means to have a boyfriend, because I've never had the real thing. And when I tell people about that, they say "don't worry, you'll find someone." Is having the real thing, a boyfriend (in my case as a cisfemale) the answer to all of my questions? The real thing being defined as having someone whose your boyfriend on the internet, because it's that official? Or is the real thing what you feel when you're alone with that person, they are holding you, and it's your definition of perfection?

A little food for thought. Are we after the meaning of the label, or are we just interested in having the label?

Let's Talk About Love

Love to me has different meanings. We love each other, as we build friendships that mean everything. We fall in love with someone who we hope to be our soulmate. We need to pick out a career path that makes someone happy to go to work every morning and feel actually fulfilled. And of course, we need to learn to love ourselves for we are in a relationship with ourselves longer than we will be with anyone.
In my opinion, we often think that love means being in a relationship. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. Let me break down all of the ways of love that there are out there, because there are more than one.
Loving Yourself: As I said earlier, the most important relationship one can have is the one with themselves. And it's also the most difficult one that we can have. It's the relationship that is also the most complicated. I think to love yourself doesn't mean that you have to love yourself everyday or will you be happy with yourself. Like every other relationship that you will have, the one that you have with yourself is the most complicated. With that being said, I believe that we're never complete. Instead we are constantly evolving and changing into someone different. I believe the true definition of love is when you're taking care of your needs, and realizing that you're a human who makes mistakes. Loving yourself means treating yourself to things that make you happy, such as getting frozen yogurt by yourself or lounging on the couch with Netflix or a good book. Why? Because you know you're worth it. I think we're too critical to ourselves, and that needs to stop. We all make mistakes, and we all do stupid things. The key is to simply learn to love yourself and your flaws. Learn to own being alone. That way, you'll never be lonely despite whether or not you have a boyfriend.
Loving What You Do: I think everyone needs to have a career where they love what they do so much that it's no longer a job nor is the work in the classes in that field considered to be work. It's what you're going to be doing. I'm lucky, and I found that love with Journalism. I am a Journalism nerd and I am excited for my future. I love writing, and I have a long way to go before I am out in the world. However, I have had some amazing opportunities. I can't say one negative thing about Journalism. I love the interviews. I love talking to people. I love writing a story, even though the topic bores me. I love being torn to shreds by my professors, because I know that's going to make me a better person. I think when you find a career that makes you this excited, than you know you're destined for great things no matter what the pay is.
Loving Who You Surround Yourself With: Friends, friends, friends. They are the people who are like family. They are the people who you willingly choose to be in your life. They are the backbone to every good story. They are the unpaid therapists and support systems that you get during good times and in bad. That's why it's important to surround yourself with good people, people that make you happy. Why? Because you deserve it. Plain and simple.
Love in Relationships: Relationships are tricky. People always want to get in them, because they are the sure ingredient for happiness. Or that's what they think anyways. However, you don't really need someone to make you happy. You need to learn how to make yourself happy.
The biggest thing about relationships, at least in my point of view, is timing and feelings. Your heart is a bigger compass than your brain, because it knows where you're going better than you ever can. It knows what's right for you, even if it's not logical. Only you know what's right for you, and that's something that a lot of people don't get. I don't know why, but I'm never worried about relationships. What's meant to be will happen. Sometimes, I believe that we try to be a bigger being than fate. Now as I enter my 20s, I simply let fate take the wheel. Why? Because I want to be with someone who makes me feel amazing. I want someone whose touch never lose the intense heat or burn of the fire. I want someone who knows me better than the back of their hand. And finally, I want someone who I am happy to be with, and I feel right being with. I may be only 21, but I know what I want.
So at the end of the day, these are the opinions about the various directions of love in my life. I believe that there's more to love in life than a significant other. And if you're doubting it, remember that you're loved. If you have friends, great books and a great place to call home that's love. No boyfriend is required. 

Loving Yourself.

Source
Valentine's Day is almost here. There's talk of love everywhere. Do you love your boyfriend? Dog? Well, what about you? You're important, after all and you really need to make sure that you're taken care of.
We as a society sometimes forget that and provoke that mindset. Well, I am a huge fan of treating myself because I think that everyone needs to feel loved. Valentine's Day is all about love. That means going out to buy your boyfriend some sort of gift, yes I agree with that. However, that also should mean going out and buying yourself something.
And for all of you single gals out there, you for sure don't need a boyfriend. Go treat yourself to something tomorrow, because you're an excellent person. Whether it's candy, a sparkling new bauble, or something else go out and buy something that makes you happy.
The relationship that I myself that I need to work on is the one that I have with myself. I need to love myself more because let's face it, I've been way too hard on myself especially as of late. I have insecurities up to wazoo, and doubt and worry like it's my third job. I believe that it's something that I could work on. I have so far, with constant journaling, and using the book 'The Happiness Project.' Putting yourself first isn't selfish, even though sometimes people may think that it is. I have dealt with pressure from society  about my weight, my way of life, my relationship status, and even what I choose to do for a living. There are people in this world that could make you feel like you're not worth anything, and that is complete bull.
Even though it's a total cliche, let me say this. Put yourself first. Love yourself. Love others. Tomorrow is the day of love, so love you. 

The Movies Lied.

I really have been on a movie kick as of late. (Thank my Netflix for this problem.) My favorite kind of movies, judge me, are chick flicks. Give me something sad, or something with a happy ending, and I'm all good. However, despite the fact that these movies are supposed to mimic real life, it's no secret that they don't.
Movies have happy endings, big romantic gestures, and people professing their love to each other in the biggest and best way possible. After a bloody breakup, the guy comes back and says that he can't live without her. Or my personal favorite, taking her up on stage and performing some dance number to one of the best songs ever. (Patrick Swayze, you did it right.) The problem..none of this is real. Well let me rephrase that. I don't think that it's real.
Movies have been shaping our way of thinking about relationships since our days of watching Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Fairy tales and romantic comedies are similar in many ways. For example, in Sleeping Beauty (that was my favorite, other than Belle), she needed to awake by true love's kiss. Well, what if the prince never came? Did she eventually wake up, with a pink or blue dress? (I liked the pink one, by the way) Did she get a job? Or did she never wake up?
Thanks to Disney and Nora Ephron, my views on love have been changed. I've come to expect a complete profession of love when someone loves me. I'm half expecting to find someone whose like Augustus Waters, who tells me that 'I am in love with you' more times in a day than he does 'hello.' When we're comparing notes from our real life to our lives as a movie, our real lives often come up short. Whether it's something that was said to us, or something that happened, our lives aren't made to sell. And that's okay.
Katy Perry said it best, 'when it's not like the movies, than it's not how it should be.' Homegirl said it right, because the best romances are the ones that come when you're not looking. What your bae tells you may not be written by Nicholas Sparks, but that's okay because sometimes what he says can be a bit too cliche. (No offense.) What your bae tells you is sincere, and it's real. To me that is all that matters, but that's just me.
So, let's leave the acting to the stage. Let's leave the romance and the big romantic proclamations at the movie theaters next to the super buttery popcorn, and let's leave the drama for the Oscars. Let's accept life at face value, something that is beautiful and wonderful and bittersweet at the same time. 

L O V E

Love. What do you think about when you see those words on your computer screen? I'll give you a moment to ponder your answers.

Done thinking? Great. 

A few years ago, I wrote an essay about why I believed in love. I wish that I could share that essay with you, but sadly I can't. I remember that it was for my freshman class, and that we had to write a 350-500 word essay about what we believed in and why. However, I can tell you that since then, I've learned a lot since my freshman days. 

Love is something that can lift you up and bring you down. You can not live without love, and even though you may be denial you are in fact loved. 

Love brings us down when you're in the unrequited kind of love. The person flat out rejects you, and your hopes to make it to the alter. Your significant other or partner decides to leave you for someone else. It's a feeling that to be completely honest, sucks. 

However, you must be hopeful about love and its ability to bring you up. When someone loves you back, whether they are your boyfriend or girlfriend, you feel like you're on top of the world. Everything seems better, colors are more colorful, and life is just a whole lot better now that you have a person to say that you're beautiful. Love makes you want to do that, and makes you say things that probably sound idiotic. They slowly become the best thing that's ever happened to you, and suddenly you begin to wonder how you ever lived with out them. 

I believe in love now, even though I am two years older. During that time, I managed to get rejected by my best friend, meet a creep that just wanted to get it off, and of course there was that whole 'where are we going scenario' with this other guy. Despite that, I still believe in love, because we are created by love. Our parents were most likely in love, and we were bought into a world with love and support. I believe that love can be our biggest influence, our biggest motivation, and our biggest downfall. It can lift you up and bring you down if you let it. I believe that love can in fact conquer all, but also can cause someone to not realize the impact of what love can do to us. Love can sometimes destroy us, and love can sometimes cause us to wonder what we're lacking if we don't have it. 

At the end of the day, love is something that we all pretty much look for in our lives. Whether we are in love, or we're not it's something that impacts us in each and every way. But, let's look past the romantic sense. Your pet loves you. Your best friend loves you. You're loved by your family. So, if you're down and you're reading this remember that someone out there loves you. Even if it's not that guy who won't call you back. 

What I Know

I've been blogging for over four years about my insight about romantic relationships. On my old blog 'Notations', I kept you informed about my own love life. Currently, I use this blog to vent about my qualms about relationships, and to express my opinions. And during that time, I still am without a Prince Charming to come and wisk me away on my white horse. My computer's a bit different, I am a bit older and wiser, and yet I sometimes feel like I know less now then I did then.
The last relationship I had was in June 2010, when I agreed to be someone who liked my friend's girlfriend. However, that all came tumbling down in a matter of hours because he was...well creepy...and he basically just wanted a girlfriend. Plus, the fact that he came on too strong wasn't exactly the most helpful thing in the world. Then, there was the whole Mr. Big (I called the guy I liked back in junior year Mr. Big on my blog because I was obsessed with 'Sex and the City' back in junior year) thing, which didn't exactly leave a pretty mess. (But, then again what kind of mess is beautiful, other than an app of course). Then last year I casually dated someone. As I sit here, and reflect on my romantic past, I begin to realize how much I've matured since those days. I've also grown to be independant, and grew allergic to the whole cliche thing. I have difficulties letting people in, I can't keep my opinions to myself, worry about getting hurt, and perhaps on occaision am a bit too emotional. Who would love that?
I sometimes wonder if I'm like Maggie from 'Runaway Bride.' Maggie, for those of you who didn't see the movie, stands up three different grooms. The fourth one is Richard Gere, who I also happen to find to be very attractive. #justsayin' Maggie was overwelmed by committment because she wanted to 'ride her own horse'  (her words, not mine) I am beginning to think that I am a lot like Maggie Carpenter. Minus the whole ditching the groom at the alter thing.
Many of my friends have found relationships. Some long term, some interchangable as the years went on. However, I still stand behind a computer typing my opinions on them. During the time between the two blogs, I have basically 180'd my opinions of relationships. I started by simply wanting someone to love me the way that rom coms played romance out. As I am entering my 20s, nothing can be more different. I can honestly say that I want to be equal. I don't know if I want to get married, mainly because I am only 20. Many of my friends are in that stage with their boyfriends where cliches overrule, and marriage is a possiblity. I also even have a friend that's married. Meanwhile, I am the one whose that single friend.
I have nothing wrong with being single. I have awesome friends, I have two wonderful jobs, and I survived my first two years of college without dying. I sometimes feel lonely, especially when Valentine's Day rolls around and I buy myself something shiny. I do however wonder if I'm loveable or dateable. I am not innocent, and I often think a bit too much. I observe others around me, and then I give them my advice, whether it's about dating or otherwise. I feel guilty when I hurt other people, mainly because I don't want to be the cause of anyone's wounds, even if they do in fact deserve it. I am the kind of person who would rather lay on top of someone and talk about anything but the way that I feel with them. I am scared of failure, and I am scared of being hurt. I am myself, and at the end of the day, I know that's all that I can offer to someone.
I've come along way from the girl who wrote about her Mr. Big on a HP Pavilion as a writer and as a person. I'm the girl that knows her limits, and tries to set up balances in life. I am the girl who simply falls even when she's not in motion. I don't know what I want in love yet. I do however know my professional future, which is a start. I'm hoping that in a way that my love life will fall into place the way that my decision to become a jornalist did. But deep down, I know that relationships aren't meant to be clean cut.
As I conclude one of the more personal blog entries that I've written since I don't even remember when, I hope that you all are still with me, and still reading. If you are, than you're pretty awesome. This may be the most soul-baring blog post that I've written in a while, however I am not sorry for all that I'm writing. I guess I'll sit behind my Mac and wait for my partner in life to come and find me. I know he's out there, and I am happy to meet him. And in the mean time? Get ready for some awesome blog entries.

How Do You Cook Love?

Recently, I was watching this movie on the Hallmark Channel. It starred Betty White, who played this woman who said goodbye to her husband during the WWII era. Every year since her husband's departure, she comes back to the train station where they said goodbye. The movie goes on to say that he was killed. When I was watching that, I was wondering one thing. What was her secret?
Whenever I see an old couple that has been together for over fifty years, I wonder what the ingredient for a happy relationship is. Like many, I am a member of generation divorce. Many parents that I know are single parents, or living in two households with a mom, dad, and various step-parents. Although that's the way that the modern family is becoming, I really don't want to make my parents' mistakes. My father cheated on my mother, and to this day my mom regrets not choosing someone. I often wonder how my own love story will play out.
Ideally, I'll get married, acquire a white fenced house, and adopt children. (I've ruled out having kids in a natural way.) However, I don't want the Royal Wedding black tie affairs for a wedding. To me, the wedding is something that is simply obsolete. I want the marriage to matter more than the wedding.
So, I ask myself, what is love? But, I'm not sure exactly what the answer is. We're all ruled by fate, no matter how hard we try to deny it. Timing is everything, and love is no exception to that rule. Love is something that requires patience and great timing. And of course, a bit of luck. "Luck is the residue of good planning", says Frank Barone from 'Everyone Loves Raymond.' Is that the same application for relationships?
I guess to find love, you have to be lucky. How many of you have gone onto your Instagram newsfeed and have seen at least one or two couple pictures with a variation of the caption 'I'm so lucky to have you by my side'? Well, you have to have some sort of degree of luck when you're looking for love. Otherwise, then things would turn badly.
Believe what you want to believe about love, but it's a strange combination. Our parents may not have had it right, but my grandparents did. After all, they would have married for over 57 years ago. That's pretty impressive in today's standards. Love, at least the requited kind, is that strange thing that until we feel it in our bones, we can't actually say that we know what is love. Eventually, though the answer will come to us, and hit us like a ton of bricks. Until then, we have good ol' curiosity on our side to help us through. 

Things I Love Thursday-EOS Chapstick Eggs

How many of you own or have seen those egg-shaped chopsticks? now let me ask you how many of you are looking for an awesome chapstick? Well, look no more. The products created by EOS (Evolution of Smooth) have been the best chapstick that I have ever tried.
Now, why do I enjoy this chapstick? In my opinion, what makes a good chapstick is that it smells really good, have little to no tint to it, and of course, it isn't too pricy. EOS chapstick eggs do all of this and more. Since the products are natural, it's long-lasting, and not that harmful to our lips. I hate it when chopsticks don't do the job for you, and you're constantly reapplying them.
There are many awesome flavors for this awesome chapstick are mint, summer breeze, and pomegranate raspberry.
All and all I don't swear by that many beauty products, but these lip balms are the absolute best. Want one? You can find them at your local drugstore, such as CVS and Walgreens, in addition to beauty supply stores such as Ulta. 

Love Mistakes That You'Ve Made....And You Don't Even Know It

When it comes to the love department, many of us don't have the slightest comprehension of what we're doing. If' we're lucky, we get to have a  few great loves in our life. However, there's that saying that old habits die hard, and when it comes to love, that couldn't be more true. Here's some habits that we really should break.
You've Barely Been On A Date....And You're Already Planning the I-Dos: 
 
Okay, so you've met this really great guy. And the date went really well. Now, you're picking up wedding magazines quicker than it took Joe Jonas to dump Demi or Taylor. Woah. Slow down there. Just because you've had a great date with someone, or even if the relationship is going well doesn't mean that you're going to end up with their last name. One of the number one turn offs for someone is someone who has a 'creepy crush on them', or takes the relationship way farther. How to fix that? Leave the wedding planning to Pinterest, and enjoy the moment.
You're Waiting for Them to Call:
 
 Let's get out of the Victorian Era for a moment, and realize that if you're interested, then it's okay for someone to call them. Many people, myself included, often agonize over texting someone that they are interested in dating. Sometimes, I often over-analyze any aspect of texting someone, because I worry that I could be annoying. But, let's get one thing straight. If I was annoying someone, they pretty much would tell me...right? There's this fancy thing that we could do called telling someone that they are being annoyed by none other than you. In the mean time, use your phone and fingers for something other than playing Candy Crush, and give that special someone a text saying hello.
 You're Letting Yourself Being Treated Badly:

 In order for relationships to work, you have to be loved and respected by that other person. Otherwise,it wouldn't  work at all. Sure, sometimes not everyone is going to be in the wooing mood to court you and sweep you off of your feet. However, I firmly believe that if you're crying over someone more than smiling that you should rethink who you've choosen as a partner. As Charlie says in 'Perks of Being A Wallflower' we accept the love that we think you deserve. And honestly, no one ever deserves to let someone treat them badly.
You're Not DTR-ing:
 
It's so awkward to have that conversation with a guy. What are we? Where is this going? Should I be changing my monogram necklace anytime soon? It's awkward and scary, because you simply don't know what to say. It's awkward because there's a 50-50 chance of them saying no. But, this is a necessary step for many reasons. One of the number one reasons why relationships are often confusing is the lack of clarity. We often don't put a 'label' on something quick enough, which results in us being confused and friendzoned. However, I think that there's something that needs to be condoned about DTR-ing. You like clarity, yes? You want to see things change, yes? Well, it's important to have that conversation with that person, because that's the only way that you'll be able to see things 20-20.  Just be reader to take any answer that you get.

Love and relationships can be messy sometimes, without a doubt. Sometimes, we are the victims. Sometimes, we're the ones causing the pain. But the one thing to remember, it's okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.

Dream Guys?

Sometimes, we truly think we know what's best for us. We find someone whose completely perfect for us in every single way known demand. They have the credentials, and they are just perfect for what they want to be. It's like the universe is finally on your side, and you've found the one. You know that crazy notion that someone's actually fit to be your soulmate.
Well, life doesn't always work out like that. Life works out in ways that we can't imagine. We fall for people that we didn't think that we could fall for. We end up with people who we thought we couldn't fathom of even talking to. Love happens, and falling out of love happens. Things fall apart, and things come together. It's crazy, and sometimes we all end up crying.
But wanna know the funny thing?
I believe that everything will truly be okay in the end. I believe that everyone will find someone that will make them happy in life, whether it may be in years or a lifetime. I believe in the kind of love where you wake up every morning to someone who makes you happy, not pancakes. (Although, if you do make me pancakes, I will love you forever.) I want someone that makes me think about the world, and all of my decisions. I want to be able to love someone who loves me, for my faults, and for the things that make me well me. It's cliche, but it's true. I have been in relationships where I was blinded by love, and wanting to be what they wanted me to be, not what I wanted to be. I want to be able to say that my relationship is healthy, and happy. I want honesty, and I want all of that good stuff. I want to be a part of the team-not the queen.
Recently, Emma and I were talking about our dream guys. Honestly, what I just mentioned is my dream guy. Sometimes, I can be perceived as being judgmental,  perhaps even to the point where we would shut ourselves out from all human contact.
But really, I just want someone to R E S P E C T me.

He and She Saturday-Foreplay to Dating.

Miss last weeks' She and He? Check it out here.

New to Finding My Voice, and want to start from the beginning? Check it out here.

“So let me get this straight-he kissed you on the cheek?” Daphne asked for yet the hundredth time.

I nodded, not really minding to tell this story again. When I left Andrew, I made a beeline for Daphne’s house where we spent the last two hours replaying what had just happened. We were typical high school girls, and whenever a boy told us we were beautiful we would spend moments analyzing it. Why would he call us beautiful? Did he like us? Did he really like us, or was he just lying?

Being a high school juinior with no self confidence can truly be annoying.

“I told you that he liked you”, she said.

“I know you did.”

“You’re going to have a good time”, she said. “Do you know what you’re going to wear?”

I nodded. “But I have a week to figure it out.”

She smiled excitedly. “I know! We should go shopping because you’re going to want to find a super-awesome outfit.”

I narrowed my gaze at her. “But, my outfits are already super-awesome. “

“So, one more outfit isn’t going to hurt.”

“That just gives you an excuse to shop.”

She laughed. “Well, it does give me that. What do you have against shopping?”

“Nothing, except that you do an awful lot of it.”

“I need things.”

I looked into her crowded closet, full of shoes in multiple colors and styles, jeans in a variety of washes, and a whole rainbow of shirts.

“Not in every color.”

“Yes I do! That way, I have the basics.”

I rolled my eyes. “The basics would be in a few colors that go with everything. Not every color.”

“Don’t hate on me just because I have a more awesome wardrobe than you.” She stuck out her tongue at me.

“My wardrobe is pretty fine thank you very much. And I don’t have one of everything in every color.”

We laughed. That was the thing about Daphne. We could tease each other about just about anything, and then  as soon as you think that we probably had enough of each other for good, we suddenly burst out laughing. It was the way that our friendship always was, is, and will be.

“So, what do you say?” Daphne asked as we finished our explosions of laughter. “Wanna hit the mall?”

I smiled weakly, not sure what was going to be in store for me. “Sure”.

Two hours later, I spent more money than I should have, and had more bags that were digging a read mark in my hands as a result. This was the work of Daphne, who had insisted that I would buy a few options, just because you can’t really predict the weather. What if it was cold? What if there was suddenly a heat wave? Daphne had an excuse for buying just about everything, as long as it was on sale.

I heard a soft muted ping from inside of my bag. Part of me hoped that it was Andrew, but the other part of me told myself that I shouldn’t get my hopes up. The tips of my mouth creased into a smile, because I didn’t know the number. Therefore, it must be Andrew.

Andrew; Hi, it’s Andrew. I wanted to give you my number, just so you can have it. I hope you’re having a great day, and that you’re not creeped out by how early I am to text you.

Me; I am not creeped out. I am happy that you’re texting me.

Andrew; I am too. :D

Me: What’s up?

Andrew: Not much, and you?

Me: Not much, just got back from a shopping trip with my best friend.

Andrew: Ooh, girl’s night out? Did you buy anything interesting?

Me; Not really. I bought something to wear to our date next week.

Andrew; I look foreward to seeing that. I bet that you’ll look amazing. You always do :D

Me: Well, thank you.

Andrew: You don’t seem happy that I think that you’re cute..?

Me: Because I don’t believe you.

Andrew: Well, believe it. I think that you’re extremely cute. I think that you’re amazing, and I know that it’s too soon for me to be saying that.

Me: Nope, not at all.

Andrew: Good, cause I do.

Me: You’re very cliché.

Andrew: I guess that’s a good thing then.

Me: Not for me.

Andrew: Why not?

Me: I am not a huge fan of the whole cliché romantic movie thing.

Andrew: Aren’t all girls a fan of things like that?

Me: That is such a stereotype.

Andrew: Really?

Me: Well, you shouldn’t believe in stereotypes.

Andrew: Why not?

Me: Because they are not always true.

Andrew: I am sorry to assume that.

Me: You know what they say when you assume things.

Andrew: Yes, I do.

I looked at the clock, and wiped my tired eyes. It was almost midnight, and I was sitting in the same position that I was earlier. My bags still had clothes in them, and I’m sure that by now they were probably more wrinkled then the old women in titanic.

Me: We’ve been texting for pretty much all night. I’m tired and I’m gonna go to bed. Mind if I text you tomorrow?

Andrew: Of course, not. I hope you sleep well, my darling.

Me: I am not yours yet.

Andrew: But, you will be.

I closed my phone, and shut it. I couldn’t sleep right now, so I hung my clothes up. I got my pajamas on, and just laid there. I didn’t know what to think, or what this was, but I was falling to some unknown gravity. Was this what falling in love felt like?  Or was this what falling in love with someone who was falling in love with you too felt like.

If it did, then it felt nice.

Things I Love Thursday-Hamsa Necklace

Look familiar?  Check out the post here!
If you know me personally, you know that I wear a hamsa necklace pretty much everyday. I got one when I was a freshman in college, and I have worn it every since then. I own two now, (pictured above), in addition to a lot of necklaces.

Why do I wear the hamsa symbol?

I wear this symbol because it wards off evil vibes and spirits. The symbol is a palm shaped charm and is a sign of luck and protecttion against the evil eye. 

Many people often wonder where I got mine from. The first is from QVC. Unfornately, when I got it it was on clearance. However, there is a wide selection of them. The second is Dava, which is a local jewelry shop in my town. 

I highly reccomend this necklace, because it's a great symbol, it comes in many styles, and a little luck on your side will never hurt anyone!

Hey guys, I also guest posted for Emma's blog. Check it out here.

She and He Saturday-The Moment I Fell In Love.

The following story is completely fictional. Any relation to actual events, people, and things is completely and utterly cocindental. 

The Moment That I Fell In Love;

Sometimes, when you meet the one you just know. It’s like when you find the perfect pair of jeans. It’s like someone said, ‘these are made just for you.’ Similar to the person being made just for you. It’s cheesy, and crazy but it is true. We can’t help but believe the cliché aspects of life, because they are true.

I was a skeptic, and I was a fool. However, I didn’t realize how beautiful love could be.

This is my story.  My story of how I met the one.

Two and a half years earlier-

            Let me take you back to a time of my life when I wasn’t the most attractive person in high school. I was a band nerd, who knew more about playing the flute than I did actually communicating with people. This was a rough time, but it’s okay because we all get through those rough times as teenagers, and laugh at them when they reappear for Throwback Thursday. However, deep inside we want to cringe when they appear on our newsfeed.

            Anyways, it happened on the first day of band class. It was actually the third day of school, but the band director always gave us a few days to dust off our instruments, and bring them back to school. Or file them in the witness protection program, because they seemed to have disappeared. People going to hell and back to discover where in the closet their flute is.  People trying to explain to their parents that they would rather be in art class than take another year of the saxophone.

            I was connecting my head joint to my body piece when I saw him. He looked like James Dean, only in a nerd’s outfit. He wore a bright fire engine red polo shirt, and khaki shorts. His eyes were a piercing blue, so electrifying that if I got too close I might have to go in the emergency room for electric shock treatment. He wore thick hipster-style glasses, and was wearing brand new black Converse sneakers. He was the typical geek, but something was drawing me to him like a magnet. It was like when you found that perfect pair of shoes on sale, and they were exactly what you were looking for, only better. It was like they were waiting for you to come and get them, kind of like that it was meant to be.

            I was secretly willing him to come closer, so that way we can talk, and I won’t be the creepy girl who likes him from afar. Please sit next to me I willed secretly. If all of the things in the world that I wanted to come true, it would be that he would come to the chair next to me.

            And sure enough he did. Something inside me wanted to perform more cartwheels than the cheerleading team did. Now, I only wished that I had the courage to say hello.

            He played the clarinet. He looked like a doe, innocent. He did seem to have more knowledge about the instrument than the person who invented it. I wondered if he could feel the weight of my eyes, which were studying him more than I did for my PSATS. I was studying the way that his perfect chestnut hair fell into those blue eyes. I was studying the way that he put the instrument with extreme precision. But most of all, I was sending him telepathetic messages for him to talk to me. He was too engrossed into his instrument for him to even know that there was a person sitting right next to him.

            He came up for air a few moments later.

            “Hi,” he said. “My name’s Andrew. What’s yours?”

            “Cat. Which is short for Cathleen.”

            “Nice to meet you, Cat.”

            And that my friends, was the moment that I fell in love.
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Blurred Lines

There's something about relationships that are left to be undefined. Friends, boyfriends, and people in between. In one instance, you're with someone who you really like, who makes you happy, and they seem to like you in the way that you want them to like you. In the next, you're just a buddy only you're a bit more polished then the friends.
Ladies and gentleman, that's what we call the friend zone. And, it sucks.
I've been always too scared to make a move on guys that I'm interested in because I'm just afraid of being rejected. However, that's worse because then you are just leaving this gray area instead of being in the black 'girlfriend' zone, and the white 'friend' zone. I wrote a guy a letter once, just because the words I like you just couldn't come out. Of course, what happened afterwards is a different story.
I'm in that in between moment and it sucks because I want to be with someone who makes me happy. Nobody likes to be rejected, and nobody likes to be friend zoned. Sometimes, I think love and taking risks is a part of life. You have to rip off the bandaid, and it's going to sting like a bitch. But, then it's better than having a Snoopy bandaid hanging off of your leg for the rest of your life. (Yes, I have Snoopy bandaids)
Being rejected is something that we all have to face. Outside of love, we get rejected by schools, jobs that we think that we are perfect for, and even people who we once thought that were awesome now toss us aside like we mean nothing to them. Rejection is everywhere in this world, even though it hurts and even though we wish that it didn't exist.
As much as we wish that it doesn't exist, there's the whole concept of everything happening for a reason. After the pain, and after the endless amounts of wondering why this happened to you, we realize that there's some higher reasoning for this. We love, we get hurt, and then we move onto bigger and better things. Whether we are the ones getting the rejection, or doing it ourselves there's a reasoning that is beyond our understanding. The best thing that we can do is try to shake off all of our fears and try to do something about what we want. So, go ask that person out, talk to the pretty girl or boy, and just go for what's holding you back. If it's not going to turn out okay, then it's absolutely not the end of the world.

Fictional Friday-The Claddaugh

The Claddaugh

Tiny little silver hands hold a silver heart that's as cold as you.

It's crown points away from you, signaling that I am looking for love.

If it points at you, it means I'm yours.

You only had one job.

You were supposed to make the crown point to your heart.

But you didn't, so the crown points towards me.

It reminds me that you and I were never in sync.

Friendship means the crown, but my heart wanted you.

We were the crown, and not the heart.

I should have saw the signs,

I should have took friends, as just friends.

You didn't string me along; you were being honest.

Only I was too deaf to listen.

You're not going to find me and tell me I'm the one.

Stupid romantic comedies have clouded my hearing.

The crown points towards me,

Reminding me that I'm looking for love.

With someone who will turn the crown to face him,

reminding me that I am in fact royality.