Tuesday, July 1, 2014

How Do You Cook Love?

Recently, I was watching this movie on the Hallmark Channel. It starred Betty White, who played this woman who said goodbye to her husband during the WWII era. Every year since her husband's departure, she comes back to the train station where they said goodbye. The movie goes on to say that he was killed. When I was watching that, I was wondering one thing. What was her secret?
Whenever I see an old couple that has been together for over fifty years, I wonder what the ingredient for a happy relationship is. Like many, I am a member of generation divorce. Many parents that I know are single parents, or living in two households with a mom, dad, and various step-parents. Although that's the way that the modern family is becoming, I really don't want to make my parents' mistakes. My father cheated on my mother, and to this day my mom regrets not choosing someone. I often wonder how my own love story will play out.
Ideally, I'll get married, acquire a white fenced house, and adopt children. (I've ruled out having kids in a natural way.) However, I don't want the Royal Wedding black tie affairs for a wedding. To me, the wedding is something that is simply obsolete. I want the marriage to matter more than the wedding.
So, I ask myself, what is love? But, I'm not sure exactly what the answer is. We're all ruled by fate, no matter how hard we try to deny it. Timing is everything, and love is no exception to that rule. Love is something that requires patience and great timing. And of course, a bit of luck. "Luck is the residue of good planning", says Frank Barone from 'Everyone Loves Raymond.' Is that the same application for relationships?
I guess to find love, you have to be lucky. How many of you have gone onto your Instagram newsfeed and have seen at least one or two couple pictures with a variation of the caption 'I'm so lucky to have you by my side'? Well, you have to have some sort of degree of luck when you're looking for love. Otherwise, then things would turn badly.
Believe what you want to believe about love, but it's a strange combination. Our parents may not have had it right, but my grandparents did. After all, they would have married for over 57 years ago. That's pretty impressive in today's standards. Love, at least the requited kind, is that strange thing that until we feel it in our bones, we can't actually say that we know what is love. Eventually, though the answer will come to us, and hit us like a ton of bricks. Until then, we have good ol' curiosity on our side to help us through. 

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