New Chapters

A few days ago, I had received a letter from myself. Before you scratch your heads and wonder 'how could you receive a letter from you," let me explain. When I was a senior in high school, one of the final assignments from my AP Psychology class was to write a letter to me as I'm graduating college. Back then, the year 2016 seemed so far away and so out of reach. And now that it is here, Hamden High School seems so far away.

In that letter, I asked if I was still friends with my high school friends, if I was seeing someone (I'm not) and discussed some high school memories. Now, as I look at the letter written in purple sparkling ink, it feels like an entire lifetime ago. Next month marks four years since I put on that yellow polyester gown and walked the stage at graduation. Out of all of the people who I've mentioned, only one of those people still remains to be a person who I talk to on a regular basis.  It seems like my life has blossomed and changed completely since then. My list of accomplishments are an ever-growing list that doesn't seem to end-I've worked as an Opinions Editor, I currently hold positions at my local paper, have met several politicians/musicians and have travelled to different parts of the world. I've learned that my true calling in life is to hold a pen to write the stories of people who do great things, and that the best way to express myself is through the written world. I learned that sometimes you outgrow people, even though you have a textbook's worth of history with them. I learned that the friends that truly love you are the ones who are not only there for you when they are needed, but they also provide an outlet of entertainment as well. And finally, I've learned to stand up for what's right for you. This means that sometimes this can cause a relationship to end, all in the name of staying true and honest with yourself. 

I hate it when people say that "I wish I can go back in time to do that one thing over." I don't believe that is true. I think to be the person that we are today, you need to have lived through the cards that you were dealt with. In this experiment that we call life, you are the variable that is constantly changing. While I have another semester before I rock another polyester gown, I am still not the person who I was when I started. As expected, I learned some things and met new people. But, I also went through hardships and I went through periods where I've experienced exponential growth. Thanks to that growth, I am the person who I am today. I'm turning 22 in a few months, am learning to control my anxiety on my own and have a lot to look forword to. I said goodbye to dreams and ideas that I never thought I would get the courage to do so, and opened myself up to the new beginnings. 

This is similiar to how it was when I graduated high school. It was a new beginning, something that every 18 deserves to have. 

Here's to new beginnings. Here's to laughter, to working hard but knowing when it's time to stop. Here's to the graduates, the members of the class of 2016 who will enter a new phase of their lives, whether it may be to more education or the work force. Here's to the couples, whether it's for the ones who are just starting out or the ones reaching milestones. 

And most importantly, here's to you. 

Cheers to new beginnings.

English Is Not My Thing

This semester I'm taking two English literature classes. One of them is for my minor-20th century literature. The other one is a Young Adult Literature class that I'm taking as an elective. And, as I'm taking the classes I've confirmed what I've learned last spring-English and I aren't exactly the right fit.
Why? I hate annotating and sitting around to analyze literature. I don't like figuring out why someone wrote something. Yes, I like to read books for fun. Thus, I don't like to analyze why someone wrote it. Or what they meant by a certain theme or motif.
But that doesn't mean that I hate literature. I just hate analyzing it. However, I'm all over book reviews, and talking about what I thought about the book. I like to tell someone how I feel about the book, and whether or not I think that it's good. However, I don't want to pick the text apart and make an academic argument.
While I sit in my two English classes, I got to admit that the teachers are good. I got to admit that my classmates are pretty awesome. However, I really don't like sitting there trying to figure out what some author meant. I'm not excited about the classes, but when it comes to my journalism classes I have heart eyed emoji all over it.
At the end of the day, it's often easier to realize what's not a perfect fit for someone before you realize what the right one is. For me, it was realizing that English and literature wasn't. I'll never be the person who can find hidden meaning from a poem. However, I'll be the person that tells you the news, and what's going on in the world that day.
And that's okay. 

Crossing Three Things Off Of The Bucket List.

Howdy, there readers. Last week, I blogged about my summer bucket list. This week, I'm going to tell you all about how I got to cross not one or two, but three things off of my bucket list. In the matter of days mind you.
The first is taking a trip to explore downtown New Haven, which I got to do on Wednesday. I needed to take some pictures for my internship, and Gabriel was my person. After taking pictures at Gabriel's mother's workplace, we decided to go to Atticus, a local bookstore where I ended up purchasing "We Were Liars." We also got iced coffee and had a relaxing afternoon.

I took this selfie so I can blog about it ;)
 I also got my S'mores frappacino. And, it was amazing. It wasn't what I expected, but it was still awesome. I definitely would get it again. Have any of you ever had it?

Finally, I got to go to the Westfarms Mall on Memorial Day with my friends Jene, Joanna, Monica's sister and Monica. We went to the mall, and I snapped up some awesome t-shirts from H &M (honestly, their stuff is awesome.) Then, we went to the Cheesecake Factory, where I had the most amazing sandwich ever.We also wandered around, and went to Charming Charlie, which was the most amazing little accessories store. (and very affordable)

Outside the Cheesecake Factory

Currently.

Currently, my life is a mix of writing a lot of final papers and getting ready to finally enjoy the summer. (It's going to be weird not having a bunch of things going on, but that I can get used to.) I also plan to spend the summer interning at the College Fashionista website, which is something that I am so excited to announce with you all! I start May 18th, and I'm so excited to have this opportunity. I've never written for a blog before (other than my own) so this experience will be so great. (Plus it's something that I can learn a lot from!)

So here's what's up with me lately:

I'm currently listening to: Forever by Drake, Sechnsuct by Rammstein, and Style by Taylor Swift on repeat. 

I'm currently reading "The Lucy Variations." I love Sara Zarr, however I wish I had more time to read it! 

I'm currently obsessed with the color blue. Particially Tiffany Blue. 

I'm also currently obsessed with LC Lauren Conrad. I recently bought some costume jewelry pieces as well as some from her Cinderella collection! (Maybe I'll do a fashion post about her upcoming Minnie Mouse collection; what do you think?) 

I'm currently obsessed with iced coffee. I used to hate it, and now I can't get enough! (Especially the cookie dough kind)

What are you up to currently? 

A Life Update

Hey everyone!
It's been a while since I've done one of these, so I figured today would be as good of a time as any to update you all about what I've been up to lately.

• I'm going to LA! I'm leaving Wednesday for the ACP journalism conference. I'm so excited because I've never been to California before, and I am looking foreword to the conferences. I'll also be sure to be blogging about it when I get back. In the mean time, I'll be having some lovely people guest posting. 
• School and work on #repeat. Let me tell you it's not easy being green. Things have finally slowed down in my life since I've dropped a class, and for the first time I'm actually really happy with things. 
• I discovered red velvet oreos. That is all.
• New haircut! I recently went short with my hair. I was looking for a change, and I decided on a whim to cut about five inches off. That's a huge change for me, because I rarely ever trim my hair. I am honestly so happy with my new hair, and I am so glad that I decided to go short. I'm still getting used to having 'medium length hair,' so any styling suggestions are welcome. Let me know what you all think! Also special shout out to Elisia, who held my hand and then listen to me obsess over it.

Before: 

After: 

                                                    New haircuts mean multiple selfies right?;) 

• I've been so lucky to have awesome friends in my life, such as Elisia, Griffin, and Gabriel. I've been a hot mess lately, and having them for moral support is always a good thing. I'm realizing how lucky (and rare it is) to have such awesome friends! 

• I'm also actually attempting to make plans and have fun. This is a first since I never make time for my friends other than in breaks and summer. It's important to have fun! 

What have you all been up to lately? 

I Wanna Get Better

Last week, I wrote a post entitled 'The Importance of Taking Time For Yourself' in which I talked about my issues with my mental health and having to take a step back. I first want to take a moment and say thank you to a few people who have emailed and supported me, including my good friends Bethany and Kari.
I've decided to once again post about it for two reasons. The first is that I want to be able to talk about it, and have people look up to me as being a strong individual. If someone is suffering due to depression or other mental health issues, I want them to know that they are not alone. Even though I know first hand that it sure as hell doesn't feel like that. The second is that writing for me is some sort of therapy. My blog is my account of my life, and sometimes writing a post is always helpful. I previously stated that I have slowly evolved from sharing every detail about my life on my blog, but at the same time, I feel like I could benefit from doing so. I don't know if this will become a regular part of my blog, but if I feel like I want to write about something, I will write about it.
Since writing that first post, I still haven't felt normal. Crying has become a sense of normal for me, and I constantly have been feeling miserable. It's affected my friendships, because I would lean on my friends, especially my good friends who I trust more than anyone. I am lucky to have such good friends, but they are not my therapists. I am in the process of getting a therapist, but sometimes there are things that people can't do to make you better.
I've also been furthering on cutting down on my weekly articles. As an editor for my school's paper, I have to write 2 articles for my own section. I also am taking an intense writing class, where I have to write another article weekly. And of course, there's this little ol' blog where I write every day in pretty much. Although scheduling posts is helpful, I still am writing a lot. 
Cutting down on my responsibilities, as well as dropping one of my classes was a step in the right direction, but I often feel like I am a failure for doing so. I've put a crazy amount of pressure on myself to become a better. However, I have given myself crazy high expectations, and that's not good. I need to realize that I am in fact enough, no matter what my GPA is. I need to learn that my best is in fact enough. I have to learn to take things on a step by step basis, and not worry so much about what something that happens next year.
I wanna get better. I don't want to be depressed, and I want to be happy. I'm taking steps towards happiness, and I know that it will be a while. I am a human who is a work in progress. I don't hold the answers to everything, in fact I hold the answers to next to nothing. I do know one thing. I know that the road to being better relies on me, and only me alone. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to reach the destination, but I know that I am a strong person who can handle anything. 

Currently...

Hey guys! It's hard to believe that it's November. I still feel like summer was yesterday and not like three months ago. Where did the time go? Anyways, since it's been a while since I've told you all about my life, here's what I've been up to:

• Currently getting really excited to get my car soon! That's right blogging audience, I can drive! I got my license, finally, a few months ago, and the high still has yet to wear off. I was lucky enough to get a car from my grandma's dead brother. Since I am the only one out of all my cousins who didn't have a car at the time, I got it. However, since it took me a while to get my license, I am just now getting it in driving condition. But since it's a 2001 Honda civic, I do unfortunately have to worry about the whole recall thing. Fun. But yay, cars!
• Currently looking at different ways to curl my hair. I'm really getting into the whole curly hair thing, like Carrie Bradshaw has in the early seasons of Sex and the City. I have somewhat wavy hair, but I really want to have her similar hairstyle going on. If you all have some tips for curling hair, let me know!
• Currently, I am not ready for finals.
• Currently, I want my friends to come home so I can annoy them on a local level. Griffin, and Gabriel you know those two clowns.
• Currently, I am looking foreword to having some time off soon to be thankful for life. 

What's up with you all?

The Best Advice.

We always ask for advice when it comes to relationships. Does he like me? What should I do while we're fighting? Why isn't he texting me back? We often are so unsure of ourselves, or what to do about the situation that we often second-guess our own instincts when it comes to relationships. 

When I go through the occasional melodrama with a relationship or a guy, there's one piece of advice that I constantly play back to myself. And now, I'm going to share it with you all, because I am either wanting you all to be just like me, or I actually want you to be educated and know my secret of life. Ready? I know you all are. 

Honestly the best advice that I can give to anyone out there trying to figure out romance and their way around the word is to simply give yourself the same advice that you would give a friend. So many times, I would tell a friend to do something that I myself wouldn't have the nerve to do. 

For example, let's say I have a friend named Audrey. Audrey and her boo-thang (yes I said that, deal with it) have been having constant arguments with each other about various things. If this was me, I would sit in a corner and let this happen to me. However, since this is Audrey a person that is not me and I genuinely care about, I would say something like speak up and do something about it. 

I think that we often put ourselves down, and underestimate the amount of love that we deserve. So people that actually read this, whoever you are, let me tell you this. 

You deserve the very best. You deserve someone who makes you smile, someone that makes you feel like you are floating,  someone that feels like they don't deserve you, and someone that will move mountains to make you happy. If you're not feeling that, than you're doing it wrong. To me, it's plain and simple. 

At the end of the day, once you realize that you're in fact worthy of happiness, then you're ten times likely to have a relationship that will leave you extremely excited to be in it. I think that the best advice that I can give you all is to put yourself on a pedestal, be a queen on a thrown, and to just know what you deserve.

Society and the Single Girl: Can a Commuter Date a Resident?

Where I go to school the majority of the people commute. As for the people who actually do live on campus, many of them go home for the weekend. As a commuter, my experiences differ than my friend who live there. I don't have a meal plan so I don't have to eat the same things day in and day out, which without a doubt can be very boring and repetitive. I also don't have to eat at a certain time, which is very freeing because well who likes to be told that you have to eat something by a certain time, or else you're screwed and can't eat.

Obviously, I like being a commuter because it's cheaper, and it fits for my needs. Others commute then become residents and vice versa. Honestly, college is to each their own. But, can someone who commutes be in a relationship with someone who lives on campus?

I honestly think that they can. Many people don't agree with me. 

Being a commuter student and a resident student are completely different things. Being a resident student means that you're probably more involved on your campus and have a lot more freedom than someone who still lives at home. Can that be a reason not to date someone who lives on campus if they commute?

Well, yeah. Relationship are usually a case by case basis. I know someone who lives about an hour away from her boyfriend. She lives in a dorm, while he lives at home. So far, they make it work. However, I do know couples that were together and one would live on campus and one at home, and then spilt up. It depends on this little thing called fate. 

Personally, I wouldn't mind dating someone who lived on campus, whether it's my own or not. Relationships need space, and sometimes college relationships can be suffocating because since you're on the same campus and living together, you are constantly together. That's not healthy. Being in a relationship on separate campuses kind of gives you the push to give you space that you as a couple need.

What breaks up many relationships is the whole trust factor. But, if you don't have trust you have no relationship. So, I'll leave you with this little grain of thought. It doesn't matter if you're living down the street, across town, or even in the next state. I think that if you're into them, you should go for it. If you're a commuter, or a resident. Whether or not you live at school should not be a factor of you deciding the relationship is worth it or not. 

Should a commuter date a resident? What do you think? Let me know!

Summer Photo Diary

As a blogger, one of the necersary things to do is take a ton of pictures. Cause, you know you never know when you're going to need one for a post or something. And of course, the fact that I'm addicted to the insta doesn't exactly help with keeping the camera roll kind of low. (I really need to get an iPhone with a bigger memory!) Anyways, without further a due, here's some of the awesome highlights of the summer. All of them have been taken with none other than my fancy iPhone.
 
 
 
 
This summer, I went to the beach a lot. And took a lot of artsy landscape pictures. And selfies. I even went there for my birthday, which was nice because I loved going to the beach with Griffin, Elisia, and Gabriel. I also went to celebrate the end of summer, and ate lots of strawberry cupcakes, which were amazing.
 
 
Speaking of birthdays, I turned 20 over the summer, and spent it with my lovely best friends! We also ate a ton of cake, and had Starbucks. My birthday is in such a great time, because since there's no school, there's no need for me to actually care about anything. (Except maybe work, I take that back)
 
 
 
 
One of the best parts about summer was of course to spend time with my best friend Gabriel. Gabriel goes to school 1,200 miles away, so they are away for most of the school year. Having them around this summer was definately why it was such a good time. Once I say goodbye to them for a few days, the next time that I see them won't be until November and December. I'm going to miss them, but it's going to be nice to use my Skype again. We've also taken several selfies during this time period, in which you can see here.
 
I also got to see one of my other favorite people graduate high school. I also got to spend a lot of time with him, such as exploring New Haven, going to East Rock and falling, and treating him out for lunch as a graduation present. You may all know them as Griffin. He's going to school not to far away, so I look forword to visiting. (especially since I have Fridays off, and stuff.)
 
All and all, it was a good summer. As I gear up to start school tomorrow, I'm probably going to wish that I was back into summer mode. Can I start counting down the days til Winter Break, yet?

Rocking the Labels..Or the Labeless..

When I was in high school, the in-thing was to wear clothes with a seagull on the bottom. Or T-shirts with brands such as Hollister, or Abercrombie typed across the shirt. Purses had to have the 'C" and the jewelry had to be from a certain company. If you had it, you were one of the club. If you didnt, then you were outta luck. 

We seem to label pretty much everything in life. We label clothing, such as it being of a certain brand being bad or good. We label cars with the concept. We even go as far as to label people as being a 'boy', or a 'girl.' We even like to label our relationship status, such as 'single,' 'casually dating', 'just friends', and so on. My question is, who made the label maker out of life?

Many times while dating we look for that label. You know what I'm talking about. "Does he want me to be his girlfriend?" "Are we dating?" I have had so many conversations with several of my friends about this type of thing. We antagonize over this, and make ourselves sick over finding some sort of answers. And, while we need labels to find clarity, I can't help but think at the same time that the labels we crave so much in our day to day life adds some sort of pressure. Pressure to play that some sort of role, and sometimes pressure to maintain that role. 

So, my question is why do we create labels in the first place? 

I can't really tell you the answer that you're all dying to know. But I can tell you this. We create labels simply because they want to put something in it's special place or compartment. It's something that we look for answers for, and the only way we can get them is to simply label it. Sad, but true. Living this sort of lifestyle can only drive us crazy because we are searching for that label. Whether it's a husband or a designer bag, we can't help but realize that it's a true thing. 

Sometimes we need to stop looking for things. Stop looking for the boyfriend to come, because you can turn around a thousand corners and still not find Mr. (or Miss) Right. Live life to the fullest and think positively. Live in every moment and not want to label it. However if you want to put a hashtag on it then it's perfectly fine. 

At the end of the day, sometimes we really need to look past the labels to create something that fits perfectly with us. And that may be the designer bag from Chanel, or the one from Amazon that costs about ten dollars. I believe that if we try not so desperately to fill the labels, chances are you're not going to come across the knockoffs so easily.

My main goal in life is to avoid the knockoff, and go for something real. Whether it's in love, where I find someone that may be my 'husband', or 'partner', or in my closet where my clothes are now arranged by my style not by my peers, I can't help but think one thing. Labels or not, I am pretty awesome. And that's all that really matters. 

"Those Summer Days."

One of the best parts of summer is by far that Gabriel is at last home. And we've pretty much spent time with each other at least once a week, if not more. One of the places that we often end up is at their house, where we spend lots of time together.
Last week, we hung out on my day off. We baked really good cookies!

Cookies in the flesh.
We also took a selfie, seen here.
 
Selfie time with Gabriel; this was actually meant to be a Snapchat.
One of the reasons why this is a post is because spending QT with Gabriel is important to me. Probably because of the distance, and because once the end of August rolls around they'll be off to college once again. It's always fun to see your best friend, talk about life, bake cookies, and just hang out. We manage to make distance seem like NBD, and we still manage to be important people in each other's lives. It's safe to say that Gabriel is one of the more important people in my life, and I am so grateful to have them as my best friend. (PS. Shout out to Gabriel for listening to me complain and be crabby. They are truly the best)
The summer days with Gabriel will soon fade to fall, however, our friendship will still be here. (And reduced to phone calls and text messages) Cliche, yes? But they are my best friend, and at the end of the day that's all that truly matters. And of course, that we get Starbucks, cookies, and pie.

I'm The Girl Who...

<div align="center">
<a href="http://emmajudy.blogspot.com/" title="I Am the Girl Link-Up"><img src="http://i1189.photobucket.com/albums/z424/xoem22xo/Button.jpg" alt="I Am the Girl Link-Up" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Hey guys, so this super-awesome blogger friend of mine named Emma emailed me a few weeks ago about this linkup and I couldn't help but think that this was an awesome idea. So, here's some of the awesome IDGAF things that make me...well me.

I'm that girl who has to drink coffee in order to function. Like clockwork folks, I am at the Keurig making my hazelnut coffee. It's a fun time, but it's just that necessary.
 
Who must always have french fries or sweet potato fries. Fries are my favorite food ever, and a must with a yummy wrap such as the one that I had above. They just make the meal! #sorrynotsorry


Who really doesn't care anymore. No matter what I do people are going to talk about me. Actually, kidding because no one really cares enough about me to talk about all of the time. Basically my philosophy is that people are either going to love you or they are going to hate you. So, do whatever you want that makes you happy, not just a bunch of people that are going to say whatever.
Who worries when you don't get a reply back from someone. I often freak out when my friends don't respond to my texts. However, I'm starting to learn that they are actually busy and don't hate me. 
Who still writes in notebooks. At the beginning stages of my blog, I often used that as my personal diary which isn't exactly the coolest thing. More than a few times, I've had incidents where my blog had too personal things. Needless to say, no one's going near my personal journal. Unless of course you want the whole world to know your business, which in that case be my guest.
 
 

Who puts her friends first. My friends, especially Griffin, Emma, Elisia, and Gabriel, are the people that are most important to me besides my family. I hate it when people don't understand that it's important to maintain good friendships over the course of a lifetime, because I am so lucky to have found awesome and great friends such as them. Whenever I do meet someone, their going to have to find a balance in my crazy life. But their not the only person in my life that's important.
I'm that girl who binge-watches New Girl. Whose that girl? Whose that girl? It's Jess!
I'm that girl who believes that one's naked without jewelry. Hence why I wear A LOT of jewelry. #armcandy
 
Whose best friend is her dog. My dog is the best, end of story.

I'm that girl whose at home at the beach. I grew up on the beach, so naturally it's my favorite place in the world. (You can read about it here)
I'm that girl who photographs life. I love taking pictures, whether for Instagram, or just simply for fun. I love getting that perfect shot, and I'm really excited to show more of that in my blog!
Like the pictures? Check me out on my instagram!

Well, what kind of person are you? Join in on the fun! I am linking up with four lovely people including Emma, Lindsey, and Sami!

An InLinkz Link-up

How Do You Cook Love?

Recently, I was watching this movie on the Hallmark Channel. It starred Betty White, who played this woman who said goodbye to her husband during the WWII era. Every year since her husband's departure, she comes back to the train station where they said goodbye. The movie goes on to say that he was killed. When I was watching that, I was wondering one thing. What was her secret?
Whenever I see an old couple that has been together for over fifty years, I wonder what the ingredient for a happy relationship is. Like many, I am a member of generation divorce. Many parents that I know are single parents, or living in two households with a mom, dad, and various step-parents. Although that's the way that the modern family is becoming, I really don't want to make my parents' mistakes. My father cheated on my mother, and to this day my mom regrets not choosing someone. I often wonder how my own love story will play out.
Ideally, I'll get married, acquire a white fenced house, and adopt children. (I've ruled out having kids in a natural way.) However, I don't want the Royal Wedding black tie affairs for a wedding. To me, the wedding is something that is simply obsolete. I want the marriage to matter more than the wedding.
So, I ask myself, what is love? But, I'm not sure exactly what the answer is. We're all ruled by fate, no matter how hard we try to deny it. Timing is everything, and love is no exception to that rule. Love is something that requires patience and great timing. And of course, a bit of luck. "Luck is the residue of good planning", says Frank Barone from 'Everyone Loves Raymond.' Is that the same application for relationships?
I guess to find love, you have to be lucky. How many of you have gone onto your Instagram newsfeed and have seen at least one or two couple pictures with a variation of the caption 'I'm so lucky to have you by my side'? Well, you have to have some sort of degree of luck when you're looking for love. Otherwise, then things would turn badly.
Believe what you want to believe about love, but it's a strange combination. Our parents may not have had it right, but my grandparents did. After all, they would have married for over 57 years ago. That's pretty impressive in today's standards. Love, at least the requited kind, is that strange thing that until we feel it in our bones, we can't actually say that we know what is love. Eventually, though the answer will come to us, and hit us like a ton of bricks. Until then, we have good ol' curiosity on our side to help us through. 

I Could Have Done Better.

 
 Griffin and I; 2012
Tonight, one of my best friends in the entire world graduates high school. His name is Griffin, and I've had the privilege of getting to watch him over the past four years mature into the young adult that they are today. Griffin is one of the few people in this world who honestly I can call my best friend, because other than the fact that he is truly awesome, he's someone whose always been there for me. Congratulations, Griffin! I look forward to hearing about all of your super-powers that you can share with everyone at college. Don't forget your favorite blogger/journalist. I can't wait to watch you graduate, like you did for me two years ago. Love, your favorite adult.

In honor of my high school graduating tonight, I wanted to reflect on my experiences as a student in high school, which were different than my college ones. In high school, I wasn't exactly the smartest person ever. Out of all of my friends, I had taken the least amount of AP classes. I barely studied, or did any of my homework efficiently. When I did, I often rushed it. This as you can imagine left me unable to produce my best work. I often slacked off, and was often found on Facebook for at least three or four hours a day. Clearly, I could have done better.
If I had to redo high school, the first thing that I could do would be to try harder. To realize that my social life had to be last. In high school, I was more concerned with meeting guys than I was making the grade. If I had tried that amount of effort I spent despairing that I didn't have a boyfriend than maybe I would have gotten a lot high GPA than I did. I now know how to study, and to push myself when need be. I realized that from high school, I got the easy ride. I took too many easy A classes, especially my senior year. If I had taken one or two more, I probably could have been done with some of my college requirements. (my school accepts AP credits if their passing.) Yes, that would have been a lot more work, but now looking back at it, I really could have handled it.
High school did have it's good points though. I met two of my closest friends. Griffin, pictured above, was through my high school band class, where I was the best flute player, ever. I tried really hard at music to become the best flute player that I could be. I also met Gabriel through a class that we had during high school. It's wierd to think that meeting them was three or four years ago. It's also weird to think that we're still friends too. Having both of them as my friends to this day is an exciting thing because they really taught me to become more curious and more accepting. I hope to maintain both of these friendships for the rest of my life, because they are really great friends to have.
Another part of high school that I'm truly happy that I did was the badminton team. I've played badminton for half of my high school career, and the experience was amazing. I made friendships with some girls with whom I'm close with too today, and played a sport that I truly loved. Playing that sport gave me confidence, in addition to the support I needed when my grandfather died in 2011. Those girls truly became a family, even though we had constant injuries. I wish that there was a badminton team here at my college, because that would make life a heck of a lot more fun. I guess you can say that the newspaper is my new team? Speaking of which, I was a part of my high school's newspaper as well, however, I didn't actually become serious about it until much later.
High school never ends. Some people regret high school, because they were bullied, hated it, or all of the above. However, I truly miss high school, but I have no regrets for what I've done. If I haven't, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. High school was a battle that I clearly won hands down. However, there's still more time to improve, cause I wanna get better.
I wrote this the day I graduated!

This Is Only The Beginning.

The following is a one of my more personal posts...read at your own risks.
In life, we wear many titles and hats. We are our parents children, our teachers' students, and our significant others' soulmates. We're people who wander around aimlessly, and only stop until we find something that just feels right. Then we stay there, until something else feels uncomfortable, and suddenly, just like that, we're left to do nothing but wander. It's an endless cycle, in which we have no control over what exactly goes on. It can even become a cycle, in which you rinse and repeat.
I'm almost twenty years old, and I've been single for pretty much most of it. I've been involved in three or four trivial relationships, a few flirtationships which one ended badly, and of course that one serious sorta relationship that ended like a train-wreck. I guess the serious question here is how did I get there.
With everything I've learned, whether in life or in love, I believe it's a lesson. I've had so many trials and errors, and to be honest it's exhausting after a while to find where this person that's supposedly the one that's our future partner. But, as Dory says, we keep on swimming. Where to? Well, man I don't know.
Over the years, my views on pretty much everything pretty much changed. So have my views on relationships. When I was younger I wanted what you see in the movies, you know the ones that were previously a novel written by Nicholas Sparks. Well, I like that version as much as the next gal, but it's not real. Now, I want someone to be there for me, and be my guidepost in life. I want someone to say 'I think you're pretty,' when you don't feel pretty. I want someone to realize that it's okay to make mistakes, and not be perfect. I'm surely not. I want someone who can grow with me, not tell me to go a certain way. I want someone to enlighten me in books, to push me to become a better person as a whole, and of course to understand my crazy sense of humor. It's hard to find someone like that.
As I wander through life, it's safe to say I don't know what I want for me right now. Yes, I want a relationship. Timing is never my thing, because man timing is something that many of us can't get right. I mean, come on you really have to be on your a-game here. There's something about the whole meant to be, and the whole getting the timing right.
I've written countless blog entries over the years about trying to find the one. But four years later, I still have yet to find him. So, why am I looking? I could use this time to wander around aimlessly, and enjoy every turn of the way that life gives me. I've done a lot to be proud of, from surviving two years of college, switching my major to one that makes me happy, and of course, meeting a lot of people that have changed me forever. It sure beats becoming a guy hound, and searching for love's scent everywhere I turn. And, that's what I'm doing.
Eventually, my prince will come in fairytale style attire, and all decked out with his white horse. Or he can be a rebel and go with the black, because really black is much cooler than white at any means. Well, anyways you get the point. In someways, I guess that you can say that I've found some sort of happiness, and a voice. However, I'd say that this is only the beginning.

Forgiveness and Stuff

Source
Forgiveness is one of those tricky things that no one knows the right way of doing. Every person on the planet honestly has their own way of forgiving someone. We hear people saying that 'forgiveness is good, forgiveness is healthy.' But, sometimes I wonder about whether or not forgiveness is even a thing that some have the ability to do.
We all can't stay mad at each other forever, and cling onto negative energy until the cows come home. However, I can speak for myself by saying that it's not doing anyone any good by holding onto negative things in your life because let's face it, who wants the negative vibes floating around aimlessly in the air?
But, what about the things that you just can't forgive? I think you do in some stances do. However, you're not about to let that person into your life the way that you were. LC, (pictured above) says it best in "I want to forgive you, and I want to forget you." And that couldn't be more true. There's sometimes when you're not going to want that person in your life, because it's safe to say that it's better with out them in it. #sorrynotsorry. So, you let go of the hard feelings, and the relationship that you were sharing. You realize that it's your pleasure doing everything better without them. It's okay to never be able to let people back into their original positions in your life, because you've gotta take care of you. That drama-queen friend of yours? Yeah, it's time that you get rid of her constant fighting and drama. You don't need that.
At the end of the day, I think that it's important to take the high road, and be the bigger person. But when comes the time to forget them? You can be the judge of that, but if it's something that's trivial then maybe just maybe give them another chance.
#justsaying

Love Mistakes That You'Ve Made....And You Don't Even Know It

When it comes to the love department, many of us don't have the slightest comprehension of what we're doing. If' we're lucky, we get to have a  few great loves in our life. However, there's that saying that old habits die hard, and when it comes to love, that couldn't be more true. Here's some habits that we really should break.
You've Barely Been On A Date....And You're Already Planning the I-Dos: 
 
Okay, so you've met this really great guy. And the date went really well. Now, you're picking up wedding magazines quicker than it took Joe Jonas to dump Demi or Taylor. Woah. Slow down there. Just because you've had a great date with someone, or even if the relationship is going well doesn't mean that you're going to end up with their last name. One of the number one turn offs for someone is someone who has a 'creepy crush on them', or takes the relationship way farther. How to fix that? Leave the wedding planning to Pinterest, and enjoy the moment.
You're Waiting for Them to Call:
 
 Let's get out of the Victorian Era for a moment, and realize that if you're interested, then it's okay for someone to call them. Many people, myself included, often agonize over texting someone that they are interested in dating. Sometimes, I often over-analyze any aspect of texting someone, because I worry that I could be annoying. But, let's get one thing straight. If I was annoying someone, they pretty much would tell me...right? There's this fancy thing that we could do called telling someone that they are being annoyed by none other than you. In the mean time, use your phone and fingers for something other than playing Candy Crush, and give that special someone a text saying hello.
 You're Letting Yourself Being Treated Badly:

 In order for relationships to work, you have to be loved and respected by that other person. Otherwise,it wouldn't  work at all. Sure, sometimes not everyone is going to be in the wooing mood to court you and sweep you off of your feet. However, I firmly believe that if you're crying over someone more than smiling that you should rethink who you've choosen as a partner. As Charlie says in 'Perks of Being A Wallflower' we accept the love that we think you deserve. And honestly, no one ever deserves to let someone treat them badly.
You're Not DTR-ing:
 
It's so awkward to have that conversation with a guy. What are we? Where is this going? Should I be changing my monogram necklace anytime soon? It's awkward and scary, because you simply don't know what to say. It's awkward because there's a 50-50 chance of them saying no. But, this is a necessary step for many reasons. One of the number one reasons why relationships are often confusing is the lack of clarity. We often don't put a 'label' on something quick enough, which results in us being confused and friendzoned. However, I think that there's something that needs to be condoned about DTR-ing. You like clarity, yes? You want to see things change, yes? Well, it's important to have that conversation with that person, because that's the only way that you'll be able to see things 20-20.  Just be reader to take any answer that you get.

Love and relationships can be messy sometimes, without a doubt. Sometimes, we are the victims. Sometimes, we're the ones causing the pain. But the one thing to remember, it's okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.

Dream Guys?

Sometimes, we truly think we know what's best for us. We find someone whose completely perfect for us in every single way known demand. They have the credentials, and they are just perfect for what they want to be. It's like the universe is finally on your side, and you've found the one. You know that crazy notion that someone's actually fit to be your soulmate.
Well, life doesn't always work out like that. Life works out in ways that we can't imagine. We fall for people that we didn't think that we could fall for. We end up with people who we thought we couldn't fathom of even talking to. Love happens, and falling out of love happens. Things fall apart, and things come together. It's crazy, and sometimes we all end up crying.
But wanna know the funny thing?
I believe that everything will truly be okay in the end. I believe that everyone will find someone that will make them happy in life, whether it may be in years or a lifetime. I believe in the kind of love where you wake up every morning to someone who makes you happy, not pancakes. (Although, if you do make me pancakes, I will love you forever.) I want someone that makes me think about the world, and all of my decisions. I want to be able to love someone who loves me, for my faults, and for the things that make me well me. It's cliche, but it's true. I have been in relationships where I was blinded by love, and wanting to be what they wanted me to be, not what I wanted to be. I want to be able to say that my relationship is healthy, and happy. I want honesty, and I want all of that good stuff. I want to be a part of the team-not the queen.
Recently, Emma and I were talking about our dream guys. Honestly, what I just mentioned is my dream guy. Sometimes, I can be perceived as being judgmental,  perhaps even to the point where we would shut ourselves out from all human contact.
But really, I just want someone to R E S P E C T me.

"Walking On Sunshine"

Recently, Gabriel and I went on a hike for a few minutes in a local park. The view was simply amazing, and with Gabriel is was of course fun. One of the things that Gabriel and I do a lot is go on long awesome walks. We always have an awesome time talking about pretty much whatever. And of course, we take selfies. Here's some pictures from one we took last week!

But first let me take a selfie...

 

Or two....

 

 The view was amazing!

 We take yet another selfie...my doing naturally.

Gabriel!

 

*The pictures have been taken by none other than myself, and have been edited using the app Picfx.