Monday, February 29, 2016

Music Obsession Monday

Hey everyone. I've been listening to a lot of great music lately, so I've decided to share a playlist of music that I've had on repeat, which has a selection from Missy Elliot to Elton John. Hope you enjoy, and comment below with some of your own musical obsessions!

Thursday, February 25, 2016

I Will Find Anyway to Your Wild Heart

It's no secret that I've been single for a long time, and looking for someone to spend my life with. I've pretty much complained about being single for a while, and my relationship status has been a constantly been an inspiration for a blog post. Or several.
Lately, I've been thinking more and more about what I want in a relationship. I guess you can say I want a partner; someone who I can just be with. Maybe someone who I want to marry if the opportunity presents itself. However, my recent development in the whole relationship saga, is not only about what I want in a partner. It's about what I want in a relationship and what I want for myself.
I believe I'm like a bird, because I soar with my dreams. I want to be someone who does more than have children and be a wife. I want to write amazing things, meet musicians that I love and I want to travel. I want to do things not in the traditional sense, rather in the sense of doing things that are good for me. Call it marching to the beat of my own drum, if you will. I call it doing great things.
Every day, I am learning more and more about me. I'm the type of person who listens to Lil' Kim, Elton John and Ozzy, all in the same hour. I am the type of person who takes pictures for the perfect Instagram, and spend more money on my iTunes library than I do on food. To feel like a bad ass, I blast "Du Hast" while I'm driving.  I don't want to stay in the same place and I want to explore every path and try to find new ways to the same result. I have anxiety and I sometimes need moments to myself.  I am a wild heart, someone that sees whatever she wants in her hind sight and will do just about anything to get it.
I don't want the cliche thing. I want my own thing. I don't know what exactly it is that I'm looking for, but at the end of the day, I know I'll find it. 

Friday, February 19, 2016

This Is Me

I've gone through a lot of ups and downs in the past year. I worried about losing pretty much everything and then lost it. I'm dealing with anxiety and the effects of it on a daily basis. Can you say panic attack? Can you say having weekly sessions with a therapist? I'm a work in progress, but lately I've made some leaps despite the hurdles in the way. I've gotten out of a job that made me miserable. I'm trying to enhance a balance between the people that are making me anxious. I'm taking the damn wheel and it's pretty awesome.
I've entered a new phase in my life. I've entered a phase of my life where I want to hang out with people who make me happy 85 percent of the time, and don't talk about people as if they were on "Fashion Police." I'm over the constant stress of school, because I know everything will work out in the end. I'm taking time for self care, whether it's spending a night with a book and tea, or by treating myself to a damn cupcake.
In this phase of my life, I'm ready to be happy. I'm what Elton John sings about in one of my favorite songs ever, "Simple Life." I'm ready to sail away to innocence, to a world where I can write my own stories. Sure, I'm going to have my good friend anxiety following me around, but that's okay. I've learned how to make it go away or make it's blows less harsher.
And I won't break, I won't bend, but someday soon we'll sail away to innocence and the bitter end. Elton sings that, and that's my mantra I'm going to apply for when I'm stressed or sad or both. Because, it's not the end. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Society and the Single Girl: Why You Shouldn't Fall For The First Guy

With the hype of Valentine's Day far behind us, all singles can go back to browsing social media without the constant reminder that they are forever alone. However, there's something about the need of relationships, and the lack of one can send just about anyone to the unknown land of Tinder, where who knows what you'll encounter. When someone likes us, it's enough to make anyone happy and weak in the knees so that when they ask us on a date, we say yes. Why? Because, it's a date. Dates are crucial to have.
 However, there's something about the need to be in a relationship that we settle for one with the first person who comes along. We live in a society where you just need to have a partner, and when you don't have one it's like you are left out of this super-secret society. So when someone finally looks like they may have a chance at entering that ultra secret club, they are going to take it, right? When you've been single for so long, you're going to want to say yes to the first person that comes along for you.
But the first guy that you fall in love with or ask out may not be the guy for you. Sure, it's while it's good to go out on dates, you shouldn't do it just to have a date. Just like you shouldn't say yes to someone you maybe like or could like over time because they are the first guy to give you the time of day ever. Why? Because, you're selling yourself and that person short. You shouldn't date someone just for the bragging right. You should date someone for the fact that not a moment goes by when they don't cross your mind.
The label is nice, but it's just a label. It's important to look past the hype of getting a boyfriend, and focus on the person that you would want to share with. If you want go on the date to get the experience, but after that, evaluate your feelings. If you're not crazy in love, than maybe you shouldn't be dating that person.
Take home message here is that relationships are about feelings, not about labels. 

Monday, February 15, 2016

Music Monday: Wonderful Crazy Night by Elton John

Elton John is one of my favorite artists, and his legacy is incredible. His career spans over four decades, and he's the man behind the piano for hit songs such as "Your Song," "Tiny Dancer" and "Candle in the Wind." On Feb. 5, 2016, Elton came out with his 32nd studio album, "Wonderful Crazy Night." And it was wonderful, but not so crazy.
The album reminded me of the similar tempo and mindset of his past releases--"Honky Chateu" and "Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player." When John went out to make this album, he wanted to make a happy album--with happy lyrics. The album's lead single, "Looking Up," mirrors that exact mentality. This is also the first album since 2006's "The Captain and the Kid" to feature the Elton John band. All songs on the album were written by Bernie Taupin and Elton John, the lyricial genius duo who composed "Candle In the Wind," and "Simple Life" just to name a few.
The album kicks off in the fast paced tempo of the title track, "Wonderful Crazy Night," which gets listeners up off of their feet. The album slows down for tracks like "Blue Wonderful" and "In The Name of You," however, the tempo speeds up again in songs like "Looking Up." The album definitely shows John's talent as well as Taupin's lyrical genius.
Overall, this album was a good listen. No, it's not going to be in the same league as classic Elton John albums, such as "The One," nor "Goodbye Yellowbrick Road," however, it still is a really good album. I recommend this album for two reasons. One it's Elton John, and pretty much everything he does is pretty good. Two it's just a really good album, and worth the listen.
Songs I liked: "Wonderful Crazy Night," "In The Name Of You," "Looking Up," "Claw Hammer" and "Guilty Pleasure" 

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Semester Reading List Update #1

Already four weeks have gone by, and we're now finally in the middle of the semester. I'm hopeful more than anything that these next few months come by quick, and May 12, 2016 comes by quickly. With that being said, thanks to snowstorms and trying to relax more in the semester. Every morning, I make time for coffee and a book, and then finish every day with something to read. On average, I read about one book a week. Instead of writing reviews, I'm going to just update you all on what I've read and have yet to read. I recommend all of the books I've read, and am impressed with all of them. However, I especially recommend "The Rosie Project," "It's Kind of a Funny Story" and "All The Bright Places." Here's an update on my progress:

Books Not On The List:
"It's Kind of a Funny Story" by Ned Vizzini
"Distance Between Us" by Kasie West

Semester Reading List:
  1. The Fill-In Boyfriend by Kasie West 
  2. Wicked by Gregory Maguire 
  3. The Choice by Nicholas Sparks 
  4. Crown of Midnight (Throne of Glass #2) by Sarah J. Maas
  5. Every Day by David Levithan
  6. All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
  7. Rocks by Joe Perry 
  8. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simison
  9. P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
Looking foreword to my current read, "Crown of Midnight" and updating you more on my progress in the next month! What are you reading? Let me know in the comments below. 

Friday, February 5, 2016

Ways To Be Your Own Valentine

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and if you're a lot like me, then chances are you don't have a Valentine. Well, instead of moping around, here's a crazy thought. Why don't you be your own Valentine? After all, the best kind of love that one can have is the self-love. Here's some fun ways to be your own Valentine this Valentine's Day.
  1. Treat yourself. Whether it's getting yourself a new book to buying yourself a ring that you've been eyeing you deserve to treat yourself to something nice. After all, who needs to spend your entire paycheck on a boy who may or may not be there tomorrow, when you can buy yourself that ring on Etsy that you've been eyeing for months?
  2. Watch a movie. It's so cliche to be bitter and single about not having a significant other, that it's easy to just sit back and cry about what it's like to not have a significant other. However, I don't know about you all, but when was the last time you've just sat and watched a movie? Or, a TV show? Treat yourself to some Netflix, or some fun DVDs at the library. 
  3. Take a bath, or do something else just for relaxation. It's important to treat yourself to some R and R. Baths not only relax you but just make you feel refreshed and renewed. And, that's important, right?
  4. Eat a cupcake. Valentine's Day has the best desserts. So, eat a heart-shaped cookie or enjoy a cupcake sprinkled pink. Every now and then you just need to splurge. Just because a guy isn't buying you chocolate covered strawberries, doesn't mean that you can't buy them for yourself?
Overall, Valentine's Day is just another day of the week. Sure, it's hard to be single when there's thousands of statuses about how much someone loves their significant other, because it can seem like everyone is in a relationship. However, being single is okay too. Valentine's Day isn't for the couples in the world, and singles can celebrate it too.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

One Door Opens, One Door Closes

I guess you can say that this is going to be a period of transition for me. Many know that I'm unhappy with my life, and how things are going in it. This includes my situations with the combination of work and school, which lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. This went on for months and months.
One of the things that was causing me great anxiety was where I was working. It wasn't the job itself. I worked in the campus library, and the job consisted of shelf reading, putting books in order and ensuring that there was order in the library. When the library was dead, I would have the option of doing homework or getting some blog work done. However, I had a supervisor that wasn't the best to work for, to say the least. I'm not going to go into detail here, because I don't want to bash anyone, but she wasn't fair with hours and rules. Basically, the rules would apply to some and not to all. I would be getting the least glamorous hours, from working on Saturdays (which I didn't mind), and not getting enough hours to support myself.
While I took my job seriously, I was frustrated with how I was treated as I wasn't her favorites. I tried riding it out, and eventually consulting my head boss. Nothing changed. This went on for a year and a half, causing me anxiety about my job. Towards the end of my time there, I approached work with absolute dread. I hated my job. I needed to leave, because I couldn't let it control me.
About a week ago, I had gotten the position as a student worker at my campus accounts payable office. I would be doing simple secretarial tasks and sort out mail. I'm optimistic that this job seems like a better fit for me, and hopefully my new officemates and boss will treat me with fairness, something I crave more than anything. I'm extremely optimistic about this new opportunity, as it will hopefully alleviate my anxiety, and make things a million times more bearable for me. I don't disregard this opportunity as something that was a negative one, rather I look at it as something that taught me how to deal with mean people as they will always exist.
As I head into the next chapter in my life which include a new job, getting into the English Honors Society, I hopefully will leave my anxiety behind. I also will be leaving behind some toxic people, whether they may be that boss or friends that I should have cut off a long time ago. All of this in the intention of heading to a new direction in my life, one where I'm not weighed down by my anxiety, or toxic people. You only live once, so why should you live with things that make you either anxious or unhappy? Slowly but surely, I'm embracing these new opportunities, as I close one door and enter a new one. I'm unsure what exactly it's going to bring, however, I'm reading to unlock it with a shiny key to find out. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

Music Monday: This Is Acting by Sia

Sia is without a doubt talented. Her vocals are strong, and she writes beautiful songs like 2014's "Chandelier," which is what originally drew me to her music. This past Friday, Sia released "This Is Acting," and I am blown away with its lyrical content as well as her vocals.
The album starts out with the song "Bird Set Free," a song that discusses singing for expression and not caring about the sound's quality. (Although I would like to argue that Sia definitely doesn't sing off key). This is often the theme of many songs on her album, from "Alive" to "Unstoppable," all of which are songs that talk about being strong and surviving hardship and struggle. However, the album is more than a dozen power anthems-songs such as "Cheap Thrills" and "Move Your Body" are songs that are upbeat and listeners can dance to. Other songs, such as "Space Between" and "Broken Glass" are stripped down and showcase her vocal ability.
Overall, I enjoyed the new album, and can't stop listening to "Bird Set Free" and "Alive" over and over again. Sia did more than just create a good pop album, she created a good album. Sia is one of the lesser known artists, however, she's extremely authentic, which shows in her albums. "This Is Acting" is definitely worth the listen, as many can use a power anthem to motivate them through mundane daily life and find inspiration in Sia's struggles to deal with their own. If you haven't listened to it yet, than I recommend you do so now. It's just that good.
Favorite Songs: "Bird Set Free," "Alive," "One Million Bullets," "Cheap Thrills," "Unstoppable," "Broken Glass," and "Reaper."