Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Society and the Single Girl: The Correct Way of Falling

Love is something that is strange. Everyone on this Earth carries a love story in their pocket. Some of their stories ended in tears and tragedy, while others ended in joy. Every story, however, is different then the next. It varies in cast of characters and situation. However, they all have the common bond which is love.
As a clueless teenager who didn't know anything about love, I would read magazines such as Seventeen and Cosmo! I would use them as bibles to tell me how to talk to a guy and flirt with him effectively so that he would ask me out. I would read over them intently, memorizing their content better than I ever did for any exam in high school. I thought they contained the answers on how to score a boyfriend, but I ended up spending most of my high school time being single. All of those magazines would say different things about relationships. Some would say to jump into it without thinking about, while others would say that you need to test the waters before jumping in headfirst. Needless to say, the teenaged version of my was extremely confused as to what was the "correct" way to score a boyfriend. None of the flirting concepts felt right, and none of them ever felt like me.
Disregarding the matter of whether or not I needed a guy by my side to rule, I don't believe there's a correct way to get a boyfriend. Everyone has a love story, and it's not written according to the rules set by someone in a magazine. Some people fall in love with their best friend. Others fall in love with their neighbor. Some people go online to meet someone whose the person whose right for them. My best friend Gabu met their boyfriend online while they were studying abroad. Their parents met when they were in college. An old friend from high school met her boyfriend in college. Former classmates of mine met in the halls of my high school. See? Everyone's story is different, but it's still beautiful. As I still search for Prince Charming, I wonder what my story complete with a happily ever after will be like. While I believe that it's a question of fate and being at the right place at the right time, I also believe that it's up to you as well. You could search left and right to find someone, and not find anyone. You go on Tinder with the belief that it's going to find someone. But, unless you go out with that person who you gave a green heart to, you're not going anywhere and your relationship status won't change. Sure, you found a cute guy to talk to, but it doesn't mean anything because you didn't get his number or ask him out to coffee.
So, to the younger version of myself and those who credit their education of the opposite sex to a stack of magazines, here's my advice. I believe that you should throw out the magazines, and do whatever your little heart desires. Talk to that person, do things your way. Don't listen to others, and try to ignore the rules that others believe is right. In love, there's nothing right other than what is right for you. If you find someone who takes your breath away, talk to them and see where it goes. There's no correct way to find someone and to fall in love. It's 2016, you can ask a guy for his number. It happens to everyone at different paces. Sure, the magazines may be helpful, but the editors don't know you by name and story. So, do yourself a favor and listen to your heart. I can vouch that it knows you better than you know yourself. 


  1. I haven't been in love until recently. I didn't believe in love. People say they've experienced it multiple times...but I hope it's only one person out their and truly believe it. I didn't look, he found me in a bizarre way. He made me his.
    When you're ready, you'll have a man make you his.

    - Harlynn

  2. That's really insightful. Thank you for the comment!

  3. I love this post. I too think that following your heart is the most important part of love. x, kenz

  4. I definitely agree-thank you for commenting!