Tuesday, January 12, 2016

An Open Letter to My Dad

Dear Dad,
I shouldn’t even grace you with that title, as the term “father” applies to someone who was actively there for his daughter. You were not. You left me, along with my mother, when I was two years old, and traded us for an entirely new family kind of like someone would trade in their car. This trade was complete with a new trophy wife, and two new children (one your own, and one was your stepchild). There was no room for me, your daughter, despite your constant invitations that never went fulfilled.
There were times when I would go for weeks or months on end without hearing so much as an “hello” from you. There were months when I never saw you, and whenever I did, I felt like I was the odd one out. You neglected to call me when you said you did, and whenever you did it would feel like Christmas. You were never there for me growing up. You never saw me go to the prom or graduate high school. You can blame me until you’re blue in the face, but I’m old enough to know that you were the one in the wrong.
Psychology often blames the mother for their shortcomings, but I blame you for mine. I blame you for me constantly worrying that people are going to walk out on me, just like you did to me. How am I going to expect someone to stay and be there for me, when you couldn’t stay with me through my terrible twos? You were supposed to stand by me, not try to tear me down.
Growing up without you hurt, but as I enter my 20’s, I realize that you are the one that missed out. You could have been there for me, through high school concerts and watch me graduate high school. But you weren’t, and you never tried to be. Fathers are supposed to be there for their daughters, that’s part of their job. But, you never did your job.
I guess to you I’ll always be the black sheep from your failed marriage. I guess to you I’ll never be in that perfect suburbia paradise you call home, and that’s okay. You were the one that lost out, Dad. You were the one who will never know me, which is your loss. You’ll never give me away, nor see my college graduation.
Dad, I hope you’re happy in the choices that you made, however, I also hope that you’re haunted by what you gave up when you made them. You sacrificed me, your only daughter, for a new life and a new wife. I hope that it was all worth it, because you lost something great.


Your Only Daughter


  1. Great, great, great and brave post Natalie. As someone who also lost a dad by abandonment I echo a lot of these sentiments, but know that people DO stay. Just trust and believe, don't let one asshole be a marker for the rest of the world. The right people stick, others fall and thats ok.

    1. I am definitely learning that. Thank you for the comment. :)