Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Why Out of the Woods By Taylor Swift Holds A Special Meaning to Me

Ever have a song that when you listen to it, it just reminds you of a person or a time in your life? It's like one second you're fine, but the next minute (when the song comes on usually), you can picture that person or thing you're trying to black out. Sometimes it's a person. Sometimes, it's a memory such as nostalgia.
One song that does that for me is "Out of the Woods" by Taylor Swift. The song, when it came out, instantly reminded me of my now ex fling. When I listened to it the first time, it exactly mirrored how I felt about him at that time. We rarely talked then (and we rarely do now), and a part of me still questioned what happened. It bought back those emotions, and I thought "hey this song reminds me what I feel about this person." The song is a beautifully written song about the fragility of relationships, and how fragile the people in them are.
Lyrics such as "Remember when you hit the brakes too soon/20 stitches and a hospital room/you started crying and I did too" and "looking at it now, last December/we were built to fall apart and fall back together," both resonated to me. We had gotten closer to each other in December. We began breaking when he had a panic attack in front of me, because I freaked out due to the fact I didn't know what was happening in front of my eyes. I was scared, of his panic attacks and of falling for him. I was scared, so I began to ran. I remember what sent me in a sprint-he felt freaked out about someone.
The reason why my ex-fling and I never got together was because of fear. I was afraid to tell him I wanted to be his girlfriend. I wasn't sure how he felt, so I didn't say how I felt. We went on dates, and he did nice things for me. But, nothing ever happened. Two years later, I am content with that. I moved on to better things, and as for him, I don't know what he's doing. All I know is whenever I talk to him, I think "how did I like this person?"
But, when I listen to the song "Out of the Woods," I am taken back to a cold Dec. night, when his touch and kindness made me weak in the knees. I remember going to a movie, and wondering if he was going to kiss me (he didn't.) I guess I'll never fully get out of the woods, and that's okay. The song itself is a beautiful one, and one of my favorites. However, I will always be reminded of him, even when I'm married. And a memory is something I am content with. 

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