Society and the Single Girl: Celebrate Love, Celebrate You

Recently, I saw this article on Elite Daily called "We Should Praise a Women's Professional Life as Much as Her Romantic One." The article was insightful, well written and something that I couldn't agree more on. If you want the Sparknotes version of the article, pretty much it's an intelligent young woman's views on how weddings are more celebrated than a woman's professional accomplishments. 

I've personally noticed this especially on social media. I can even give you a personal example of this, if you all are curious. A few weeks ago, thanks to my job at the Hamden Journal, I got the opportunity to get backstage access to my town's Kansas concert. This opportunity included getting a chance to interview a band member, as well as other members of the Kansas team. Needless to say, I shared the experience on social media. I expected to be rolling in the likes, however, I was disappointed to see I had only received a few. It was then I realized if the post had been about getting into a new relationship, or about celebrating a relationship milestone, I would have received three or four times the amount of praise on social media. 

This is sad in my opinion. I have friends that are in relationships. Some believe they have found "the one" while others still aren't sure. I've noticed that whenever they post things, on Instagram or Facebook they are basically raking in the likes. As much as I like to see a cute couple, shouldn't we also work on focusing on a woman's professional accomplishments? 

At 21, I would say that I'm working harder than ever to get as much journalism experience as I can. I scored a job as a freelancer for the Hamden Journal, a Style Guru for College Fashionista and of course I have a blog with about 29,000 views. However, I still don't have much of a romantic life, nor do I have a significant other to brag about on social media. Furthermore, as my list of accomplishments gets longer and longer, there's one thing that still remains to be a void in my life. The fact that I don't have a partner or boyfriend. 

My question here is why do we feel like we need to have a boyfriend or partner in order to feel like we're something in life. Is it what we are programmed to think? It sucks that women aren't considered successful unless they have a relationship and a man to come home to. It's 2015, not 1955. Women are lady bosses and women have done big things. It shouldn't matter nor should they feel like they are incomplete unless they have a partner. 

I think we should celebrate and 'like' all accomplishments whether it's a new boyfriend, a promotion or writing the front page story in a paper. There's more to life than having a boyfriend. I just wish that the rest of society viewed cute couples the same as success. 

Here Comes the Barely Legal Bride?!

When you think of 20 going on 21, you think of exploration. You're just about to be able to legally drink, and next year you'll be a Taylor Swift single. (I don't know about you, but I sure as hell am feeling 22) You'll graduate college, usually, and start your "big girl" full time job. Some move out, while others move around. But, is this the time to think of another committment-marriage?
Yesterday, while on Facebook I saw a status of a friend of my ex-boyfriend's. She was going to get married in three or so hours. And while I knew she was engaged, this came as a bit of a shock. She was about my age, and she was already put together enough to get married? Like how is that possible?
 I can barely remember to put the car in park...much less get ready to become a...wife. I want to be done wearing the graduation gown before even thinking about the wedding gown.
Before I continue, let me say this. I'm not opposed to marriage whatsoever. I think it's a good thing when two people get together and decide they love each other enough to be married. Maybe one day, I'll end married myself. However, I think that getting married before 25 is well weird and "too young to fall in love." (Thanks Motley Crue.) Even though the Duggars may think it's a good idea...actually wait don't listen to the Duggars..
Looking at her status (and stalking through her engagement photos), made me realize something. In the next few years, my timelines will be filled with photos of rings, couples looking to get married and of course many from the actual big day. Then there will be babies and all of that family stuff.
While that's cool, I'm not ready to get married. To get into a relationship, yes. But, I want to graduate college. I want to get my master's in Digital Journalism. I want to work. I want to fall in love like the way one falls asleep. I want to go to Italy, and travel the world. I want to learn languages, and I want to write novels that my grandkids will be reading in their classrooms. I want to be something other than someone else's partner or wife.  I don't want to plan ahead for my marriage. I simply want to live each day with love and without expectation.
I still have a long way to go. However, when the time is right rest be assured. I'll rock the veil like no one's business.
 

Society and the Single Girl-Domestic Drama

Recently, I was cooking with my mother. FIrst of all, let me tell you all-- I am not the world's best cook. Anyways, I was epically failing so she turns around and says 'your husband is going to leave you if you don't learn how to cook.' When I said that I may or may not want to get married she gave me a look as if to say 'well, what else are you going to do?'

Woah. 

Hold on. 

What does marriage have to do with not being such a good cook? 

In our society, gender plays a huge role even though nobody would want to admit it. Girls are taught how to tend to others, and cook/bake. Guys are taught to build things and to be adventerous. Guys have the career, and the girl is the one at home in an apron baking apple pie. Women can never have a career, and have a family. They have to be adaptable to the man, almost to the point where they depend on them. 

Ok. No. 

I can't cook, and I want to be in a relationship where I am someone's equal. I don't want to do the whole housewife thing. I don't want to tend to children and be a stay at home mom. At the same time, I don't want to do the Miranda Pressely thing where I am a total slave to my job, and my family just sees me on occaision. Why does it have to be one or the other? 

We live in a society where if you go to bend the rules its okay, but if you dare to break them than you are shunned. I don't get why that is. Why can't the man cook, if he wants to? Why can't the man and the woman be the breadwinner of the family? Why do we even have to wear a white dress to validate that our relationship is forever? 

I don't have the answer to all of that perfectly honest. I do know how I feel about this. Personally, at this point in my life I don't know what is going to happen. I could get married. I might not-I might end up being in a partnership instead. I want someone that will accept me despite the fact that I can't cook, can write like Carrie Bradshaw, and want to spend lazy Sundays watching 'New Girl.' Every relationship is different, like every person on the planet. Domestic abilities shouldn't be a factor of whether or not a mate is okay. 

So to all of the girls out there who are single, in their early 20s like me. Be yourself. Burn pancakes. Spend your Sundays watching Netflix. Eat a lot of cupcakes. Whether you have a plus one, or no one remember that you will always be fabolous. 

And that's a fact. 

Society and the Single Girl-I'm That Girl

It seems like everyone and their mother is anxious to get married. Anxious to put on a white gown to say "I do", surrounded by girls wearing dresses that were not nearly as good as the bride's, and by a bunch of other fancy things. Whether it's on Pinterest, when girls (okay fine, I do this too) make boards of their future wedding, or when we're binge watching Say Yes to the Dress on Netflix, we're all so obsessed with the future, and the big I Do.
However, I would like to be socially unacceptable and say that at this point of my life I don't have the goals of getting married. I'm still a teenager. I'll turn 20 in July, and already I feel like I'm required to give everyone a "save the date card." Even though I'm single. I barely know what I want to do with my life, where I'm going when I leave college, but it's okay. Let's slap a huge diamond on my finger, and let me get married.
I feel like many people nowadays have a bullet-point list of their lives. "At this age, I'll be married". "At this age, I'll have a baby." We want to control things, and that's really just great. But, there's so many things in life that we can't control. Like natural disasters, like deaths, like divorce. Let's face it, life throws us some pretty harsh curve-balls. That's when your plans don't exactly mean much, because you have to take what you're given. The most that we can do is make lemonade out of our sour lemons, and that's sometimes good because hey I like lemonade.
As of right now, I don't wish to get married. Part of it is that I don't have a significant other. A larger part is that I'm not even 20 yet. There is so much out there that I want to do, and there's so much out there that I want to see before I wear a giant diamond. I want to go out with my friends, to clubs, and just experiencing life in general. I want to go to Canada, Italy, Paris, London, and perhaps Tokyo. I want to have a stable job, and know where I'm going everyday from 9-5. I don't want to be held back from things, and I don't want to resent getting married too young as the reason why I didn't go to do what I originally set out to do in the first place. I want to be able to say I did stuff, other than just wait around for my future child's father to call me. I have goals, and things to do with my life that are outside the home.
One day though, I'll be sitting my kids down the way that Ted sits his children down in the hit television show, "How I Met Your Mother", and tell them all about how I met their father. However, that will happen when it happens. When the time comes, my opinions might change. But as of right now, I don't want to get married.