November 2013 Goals And Stuff

Wow, I can't believe that it's November! It seems like yesterday that I was changing my calendar to the 2013 one, and now the year is somewhat over. It's amazing how fast the year goes by. I've decided to set a few goals this month. Hopefully, I'll actually met them! 

• Actually complete Nano Wri Mo. I've tried for three years without much success. Needless to say, I'm going to try to make it up to 50,000 words and actually complete a novel. 
• Try to get my grades up. Because of my low grades in psychology, my GPA is going down. I would like to at least keep it at a 3.0, and then be done with psychology forever. 
• Get more confidence. This is more of a long term goal, but I think if I take it in more smaller steps better progress can be made. My boss mentioned that I'm not as confident as I need to be, and I would like to work on being less of an introvert, and more of an extravert.
• Take more chances. One of my biggest fears in life is getting hurt, especially in the romantic area. I've decided to work on that, once again in smaller steps. However, the common consenous that I've heard is that its better to risk things, and have some sort of chance at being happy, vs doing nothing and not being happy. I have had negative experiences with relationships, and because of that, taking a risk in that department can be the hardest for me. It will get easier, it's just going to take time.
• Save money. I've been addicted to amazon for the past month, and I'm realizing that with Christmas coming up, it's best that I start to save money for the upcoming holiday season. Hopefully, I can succeed with that. 

What are your goals for this month? 

Word count 2549

Noveling November

First and foremost, I wanted to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this blog! In the month of October, I've gotten over 500 views, which is really nice to see. Also, I've written the most posts this month than ever before! Not to mention, it's a really nice ego booster. Thank you all, because it means a lot that people actually read what I write.

November, is as some of you know National Writing Month. I'm participating in Nano Wri Mo, which consists of me writing a 50,000 word novel. Yes, I'm crazy, especially with school and stuff. Usually, I only get half way done, then forget. However, it doesn't stop me from trying. 

I won't reveal what my novel project is yet, because that's kind of in the works.I will however, in December tell you all about it. 

Now what does that mean for Finding My Voice? Obviously, I can't stop blogging. For most of November, there will be entries that are have been written before hand, in addition to whatever Music Mondays and Things I Love Thursdays I post. My goal is to write at least 15 entries for this month. However, since noveling and school will take up a lot of time I'll probably have about ten. As for Thanksgiving break, I will be able to actually live post, which is always exciting.

I'll be sure to blog about my progress with this novel, and I thank each and every one of you for actually viewing my blog!

Word count today: 1272

Things I Love Thursday: Halloween Edition

Happy Halloween fellow readers, friends, and bloggers! I hope you all have a great day doing whatever is your doing, whether its handing out candy, getting candy, or going to a party. As for me, I'm going to be at home, watching the Charlie Brown special. I'm lame, but hey it's a classic. So, to get into the Halloween spirit, instead of reviewing products, I'm going to tell you what I enjoy most about the holiday.

1. Charlie Brown Specials. I mean every holiday has its own special, but hey come on. It's never going to get old, no matter how many times I want to scream at Linus that the Great Pumpkin isn't Santa Claus. 

2.      Candy. I mean come on, who doesn't like candy? My favorite kind of candy this time of year is candy corn, and those really sugary pumpkins that you know that you really shouldn't be eating, but then you end up eating half of a bowl of. I also enjoy all of those Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that are shaped like pumpkins. Yum!

Happy Halloween! 

Music Monday: Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato has been one of those artists that I've liked since the very beginning. I remember watching her on Camp Rock as a tween, and constantly listening to the song "This is Me" on repeat. A year later, she released Here We Go Again (I will admit I really didn't like that one all too much) During that time, I didn't think that a Disney star could have much affect on me, and become an inspiration.
Fast forward to 2011, after she went to rehab, and released the album Unbroken. That album, honestly, is one of my favorite albums. It's so inspirational, because it talks about rising from hardship, and struggle. I think every teenager should listen to it, because they can relate to it. The album gives someone hope, and the strength to do things that they wouldn't otherwise have. This year, she released Demi, and those songs are so real, and honest.
To put it plain and simple, Demi is just talented. But in addition to her music, she's a really good role model. She talks about self acceptance, and self love. I think that's great, because there's so much insecurity in the world. Come on, we all have had moments of being insecure. I look up to Demi, because she's a strong woman. She's dedicated to her work. We really need to have those in the world.
Therefore, Demi, you're the Music Monday for this week!
Songs I Like:

• Made in the USA
• Without the Love 
• Neon Lights
• Warrior
• La La Land
• Gonna Get Caught
• Believe in Me
• Trainwreck
• Party 
• Don't Forget
• Two Worlds Collide
• The Middle
• Get Back 
• Heart Attack 
• Here We Go Again
• Got Dynamite
• Solo
• U Ain't Got Nothing On Me
• So Far So Great
• All Night Long
• Skyscraper
• Work of Art
• Unbroken
• My Love's Like a Star
• For the Love a Daughter
• Give your Heart a Break
• Lightwieght
• Together
• In Real Life
• You're my Only Shawty
• This is Me
• Wouldn't Change a Thing
• 
  

Waving the White Flag

For the past year, I wanted more then anything to be a psychologist. I wanted to help people with mental health issues such as schizoprenia, and alztimer's disease. However, I still loved writing and reading, which is why English was my first major.
In the spring, I became a double major in English and Psychology. I knew that at that point, that it was meant to be. I could at last attend to my dreams, and go on to be great.
Fast foreward to October, when I'm walking out of and skipping classes. I was paralyzed by pressure. My levels of stress were higher than the walls of the lecture halls around me. What if I didn't get an A in this class? Would I be good enough to get into graduate school.
Safe to say, the pressure got to me and my sanity. I was bitter, and I knew that something had to be done. I realized that I couldn't do this to myself. I couldn't a; walk out of classrooms in my condition, and b; put myself under so much pressure that I'm cracking. Something had to change.
I knew that I couldn't become a psychologist. I had wanted to be the outlier, to be able to overcome a hurdle. However, with some hurdles that are too big to jump, we can't help but not jump at all. I have vasol vagol syncopy, and it's catching up with me in more ways than one. I had tried to overcome it, but I couldn't do just that. As much as I loved psychology, I knew that I couldn't major in it no matter how hard I tried, and how much I wanted it. Somethings, no matter how hard that you try to overcome, it's physically impossible for you to do just that.
But, I did know what I want. I want, more than anything to be a writer. I love writing dearly. I love that no matter what, I can write out my feelings and feel good about whatever is bothering me. I knew that in my heart, I wanted to write in a newspaper, magazine, and even my own books somewhere down the line. In a way, writing is something that I know would make me happy. Even though it's not going to change lives, like I wanted to do, perhaps I can change the world with my written words.
A few days ago, I went into my adviser's office and filled out the paperwork in addition to picking out what I'm going to take for the next semester. Now that I'm no longer a psychology major, after December, I will never ever have to take a psychology class again. I'm relieved, and I know that I made the right decision. I may face judgement, and I may face people who think that I should have stuck with it a little longer, but in reality I have to do whats best for me and my future. My GPA's going down this semester, and I accept that fully. However, along as I pass my classes, I don't care.
I waved the white flag, and let go of the balloon. I'm not giving up, and I still promise to work hard. However, I'm not going to be a social worker, or anything in the mental health field, and that's okay. Sometimes, we find our paths in weird ways, and no matter how hard we try to resist, it's staring right in front of us down in the face. I did the right thing, I know it.

Its All Fate

Today I was home sick and was watching 500 Days of Summer. Although I feel better now, the movie got me thinking.

The movie talked about chance and fate and all of that good stuff. It talked about how things are meant to be, especially when it comes to love. That things, no matter how shitty they may be, and now matter how crappy you feel when you break up with someone, in the end, its all going to work out. 

I think humans try to create their own fate, rather than just let it happen. We are trying to create a fate that perhaps we are not meant to have. Fate isn't something that you buy in a grocery store, its something that you are born with. We can try to make things happen in our favor, and we can try to push for things to happen, but like it was said in the movie the Holiday. It's like fitting a square peg in a round hole. No matter how hard we try, we can't because it simply won't go. We can try, work hard to make the square part of ourselves more round, but that would mean that we're living a lie. Sometimes, we desire something so badly that we sit and we make it happen. However, sometimes the things that we want so badly can lead to us feeling miserable once we get them. Perhaps they weren't worth having at all.

Life is a game of chance, luck, and serendipity. When love is meant for us, it will happen. It can't be forced, and once we know we know. I am not in any way shape or form to be tied down to someone, because it feels forced. I do what makes me happy, with people who make me happy. Life and love can hurt, but sometimes we have to experience all of that to get to the good stuff. Kind of like when you're a kid and you have to eat all of your vegetables to be rewarded with dessert. I want to be happy  because I am, not because I'm living a norm that someone else created for me. I can sit and smile and make nice, but I'm not going to live with something that makes me unhappy.

We can live and we can do. I do believe in love. I believe in feeling happy, but because I want to be, not because I want someone to make me. Most importantly, I don't ever want to lower myself for love or to make someone happy. The hell with that. If it's meant to be, then we'll be together and be the envy of singles everywhere. I think if its meant to be, there's no thinking, there's just doing. It's that simple. There's no sacrifice, no misery, no nothing. Yes, couples fight, and tha'ts pretty normal. It's the fact that you can fight, shows that you're willing to fight for what you love. Of course, too much fighting would make you want to rethink that.

Fate's fate. Some people that we encounter are meant to hurt us. Some people in life are meant to make us happy. I think we should stop trying to make things happen, and just relax and let them. I know it's not that black and white, but its something like that. 

Things I Love Thursday: Sally Hansen Nail Strips

Yes, I'm a girl who enjoys painting her nails.However, since I bead in my spare time, polish tends to not stick around for very long, and therefore in about two days, my nails would go from looking pretty to a hot mess. Because I didn't want to like waste perfectly good (and expensive) nail polish, I decided to not paint them for a while, and that made me very sad. I wanted to get the whole fake nail thing, but I wasn' t comfortable with putting glue on my nails. Then, I discovered this wonderful product!
The process is very intense. You have to peel the nail, stretch it on, and then trim the excess off. It sounds simple, but since I'm accident prone, I had my mother on hand. It took about a half an hour to put them on.
However, once I got them on I didn't have to wait for them to dry (unlike most nail polishes...) which I liked because I always somehow smudge my nails while waiting for them to dry. So for once, I had perfect nails, which was exciting.
Once they were on, they didn't come off. I found that excellent because I didn't have to change them for about two weeks. The fact that they were long lasting is a reason why I bought them again and again.
However, a downside of this product is that it's hard to find stuff that isn't wild and crazy. I thought the patterns were cute, however, they were a little out there for my taste. I would have liked to see them have more plain colors, and less out there ones. Another downside is that they are a little hard to get off, however, if you scrub at your nails, it will be off in about ten minutes.
I recommend this product highly to people who do crafts, people who have trouble keeping their nails chip free, or people who like to experiment with cool nail patterns. All and all, I will be buying these for a long time to come.