Blogtember: Describe Your Life Now

My life now. Hm. My life has been a mumbo jumbo of emotions nowadays. Ready to hear about it? I bet you know that it's going to be interesting.
Lately, I've been sad because I've been going through some things with a friend. I'm not going to go into detail about it here, because I believe that this blog is a public place where you don't share private things. I've also been going through trying to figure it if being a double major is the right for me. I'm so interested in my classes, and I enjoy going to class every morning because they don't feel like classes. They feel like I'm going in for some intellectual discussion. However, I'm the girl who passes out because of blood remember? Sometimes, during mental health I have to walk out. Monday I even left. I felt embarrassed and now I'm beginning to wonder whether or not I could be a social worker. I mean what if I can't take what my clients are dishing? I am beginning to hear the words I can't and actually am believing them. It makes me sad, because I enjoy psychology, and I really want to be a social worker. Perhaps about the same amount as being a writer. I hope that I am able to do it. I also feel lacked in the romantic department. I know that I shouldn't complain, because I'm young and I have the rest of my life to be in love and married and stuff. Perhaps in a year I will look back onto this and laugh. However, I wanted that cute cliche relationship that many often make fun of. I want someone to take me out for a dish of spaghetti, and tell me some lame pick up line. I begin to doubt that there is a Mr. Right for me out there. Mr. Right, where are you?
However, there is some good things going on in the world of Natalie. I am beginning to make new friends to expand my horizons. I have friends that are really good to me, and let me call them to babble like an idiot. They are awesome people, and I am so grateful for them in my life. I'm especially grateful for Hiroki, who always makes me smile when I'm sad. He has a knack for that you know, and other guy friend, who used to have a green backpack. (He also has a Japanese name, but I forgot what it was)I also am enjoying my new job. My best friends are really the best. I know that it's cliche but I really mean it. They are awesome! I work at my school library. I love working, because I actually look foreword, most of the time, going to work. I enjoy working with people, and I enjoy working with books. I love being able to be in the know of the world of books. Also, I'm also on my school's paper. In high school, I was very involved in my school's paper. I was the revenues editor at my high school newspaper, but epically failed. Then again, I'm not good with numbers. I feel good about this, because I enjoy writing and this is a stepping stone to being in a big time newspaper one day. Imagine more people reading my stuff! That is so exciting! At least in my eyes, it is. The last big thing is that I'm beginning to develop a business in making jewelry. It's something that has always been a passion of mine, and the fact that I can make some pocket change doing that is something that I'm really excited about.
My life is this crazy mix of miserable and magically. I wonder what my life would be in a year from now. Maybe I'll be famous....Maybe I'll have the answers to my woes. Maybe...I won't be a teenager. Actually in a year I won't be. However, life with it's ups and downs, is still great. You just need to learn how to keep the sunshine in, and the rain out.

Blogtember: What DOESN'T Comfort Mean to You?

I've decided to devote the next month on my blog to do my favorite blogtember challenges and prompts. Why? I feel like my blogging has fallen into a rut and I want to shake things up a bit. I want to broaden my blogging experience, in addition to my writing horizons. 

Comfort. It's a tricky subject. First before I explain what comfort doesn't mean to me, I should explain what does. When I'm at comfort I'm curled up with my dog, and watching some lame sort of chick flick. I am eating something yummy, such as a warm chocolate chip cookie, or a cupcake. You know the kind of thing that tastes good, but isn't exactly good for you. My dog is usually in the picture around there somewhere, along with a pair of slippers. I also believe that comfort can be surrounded by the people who you love and care about. Friends, loved ones, and significant others. Having them around during the uncomfortable can perhaps make life a tad bit more comforting. 

Now to attack the subject of what's not comfort to me. And that's a few. The first is being surrounded with medical things, or being surrounded with people who talk about medical things. I have a condition called Vasol Vagol Syncopy, which means that I could pass out when confronted with those kinds of issues. It can range from watching Grey's Autonomy, to hearing people talk about medical things, or of course seeing it first hand. It's an actual medical condition, not some kind of phobia. (No, I'm not afraid of blood. However, I am afraid of passing out. It's kinda scary no lie.) Needless to say, passing out or feeling like I'm going to is very uncomfortable. Also walking out of my classes is uncomfortable. I often feel paranoid about it. I hate having to go to a teacher and explain "I have a problem, it's not because I'm a special needs student, it's because there is something that is wrong with me medically." It's crazy and stupid and annoying, and I wish I didn't have to deal with it as a psychology student. However, it is what it is. I can't help that I was born with it, I can help how I deal with it. 

Another thing that isn't exactly comfortable for me is cold weather. I hate any weather that is cold and wet. Whenever I'm around rainy weather I kind of feel like the sky is crying. I don't know why, I just do. It's not comfortable to being around rain. I'm often reminded of those sad commercials when the kid is all alone, and   left to fend for his or herself. When I'm in rain, I'm reminded of sadness,  and loneliness. Friends of mine would disagree because they find the rain to be peaceful. To each his own. 

In conclusion, I kind of like being uncomfortable. It makes me appreciate the things in life that make me comfortable such as my lovely friends, warm chocolate chip cookies, and self indulgent moments when I watch movies. 

Blogtember Post, Cause Why Not?

Okay so I was reading my friend Emma's blog (linked posted below) and really liked this idea. So I decided to write this in my own way shape and form. The prompt is to write to someone that you love. Emma picked future husband (I loved your letter girl) I decided to write a letter to one of my best friends in the world, who currently lives about halfway across the country. His name, or code name is Hiroki. I picked him because I miss him a lot, and he is one of my closest and truest friends that I have. So, Hiroki, this one is for you.

Dear Hiroki, 

So, you're in Minnesota. How is the weather? Are you enjoying college, and all of your experiences? It's really hot here. It's awful, because it's almost mid-September, and I'm not ready for all of this heat.

I miss you quite terribly; mainly because lately I've been feeling really sad and you are the one that normally cheers me up, with your witty outlooks on life. I miss our long walks, talking about life how we imagine it being, in addition to what it actually could be. Those walks are therapeutic, although I used to complain about being tired during much of the walk. I also miss reading your creative and awesome stories, and hearing your eclectic, but awesome views on life.

I love you very much. Over the time that we've known each other, you have become one of my closest and most trusted friends. I am so glad that I said hi to you when I did, because now we're the best friends. :) I am so proud of all of your accomplishments, and I'm so proud to call you my best friend. 

Our future is as bright and shiny as a diamond. I can see us now, me the successful writer/social worker, and you, the linguistic person with a big house and rich husband. We will somehow always be involved in the other's life, whether going from seeing each other a lot to hardly seeing each other for months on end. I know that through out my lifetime you'll always be there for me as much as possible. I hope that you know that I am always there for you as much as I can too. 

Thank you for all that you've done for me for the past two years. You have been there through a lot of crazy shit, and I'm glad to call you my best friend. Thank you for supporting me and loving me. I support you and love you in all that you do as well. Why? Because you're PG, I'm NQ, and we're unstoppable.  No matter how uncomfortable, and uneasy the future may be, it comforts me that you're always going to be in my life. 

I love you. You have become more than a friend to me. And no, not in the boyfriend sense of the word. Like, a member of my family kind of thing. Like a brother, I would say, but you don't like referring to a person based on their gender. 

I hope that you're happy when you read this, and having a good day. I love you! 

Love, 

NQ/Yoshi/Natalie

PS: You have a lot of nicknames for me.

You can find Emma's blog here:

http://emmajudy.blogspot.com/

Thanks Emma for the idea! :D

9/11-A Day To Remember

12 years ago, I was sitting in my 2nd grade classroom oblivious to what was going on outside the world around me. Life went on as usual, until I left school. My mother picked me up, which was unusual because she normally was working. I was confused as to why she was until she told me something terrible had happened. Two planes had crashed into the Twin Towers. Now, as a seven year old, I couldn't understand what was happening. I only cared about getting a cookie after getting out of school, and being free to play with my dolls.
We went home, and we were glued to the television screen. Now, looking back at it, I realize that the event itself was unusual and tragic. 3000 lives were lost that day. 3000 families were left to grieve a lost loved one dying at the cost of someone else's angst and pain. Many more lives were changed forever, due to the effects of PTSD, and countless injuries.
This was the day that we suffered an attack. This was also the day that we as Americans came together as one in the light of tragedy. We helped one another out in the time of need, came together to rise above the ashes like a phoenix. America is good that way. We can come together in the light of tragedy to love and support one another.
9/11 has taught us that we Americans are strong and when united we can make a difference to become one. We can come together and become a stronger and more unified America.

There Are People

There are people in your life that come and go. There are also people in your life that remain there like permanent markers forever. Either way, there are people that are in your life for a reason.
We surround ourselves with people that reflect on who we are and what our ambitions are. For example, I met some of my friends in elective classes that I found to be of interest. Sometimes, our ambitions, goals, and personalities changes as we get older and mature. Sometimes, we tend to become people that we never expected to be.
I believe that every person that I meet is there for a reason. Some reasons are to make me less naive, to develop a thicker skin to filter all of the bad things that are in my life. Another reason perhaps is to prove your theories of all people being evil wrong. Sometimes, there are people in our lifetime that are meant to hurt us. The good news is that there are also people in our life that are meant to make it better. And those are the people that we should focus on, not the ones that hurt us. Time heals all hurt, but it takes time, and patience. Having a good set of friends around to make the hurt less, to take the sting out of the harsh punch. And that's what we have to focus on.

Freedom of Word.

One of the many freedoms that we take for granted in my opinion is the fact that we have freedom of speech. We can say whatever we want pretty much without penalty. We have the right to be informed, and the right to hear whatever news that we wish to hear. When we have the idea to be written down, we can write them down and share them with whoever we want. This affects me directly, because as a blogger, I have the power to share my opinion with whoever clicks open my page. I have the freedom to write what I want, when I want to write it, and hope that someone clicks on me and enjoys the stuff that I have presented.  Without my freedom of speech and freedom of speech, I can’t honestly know what I would do whenever inspiration strikes.

Our founding fathers fought for us to be free without the power of England. They came up with a Constitution that we still follow today. The rights that are shared in the Bill of Rights is something that I believe to be a part of Human Rights that we should be born with naturally.

Now imagine if there was no Freedom of Speech. Imagine if the news that you received was from the government. Chances are that you’re going to be living a sheltered brainwashed life, hearing only what the government wants you to hear. There would be no expression, no thoughts that could probably change the world. If a government official comes up with an idea, chances are a lot of people would think that it’s the best thing ever. If a common citizen comes up with an idea multiple problems can occur. For starters, the government official can feel threatened by the citizen, and act in negative manners towards that citizen.

Thanks to the first amendment, I can sit here and write you this blog entry. I can listen to Aerosmith at top volume. I can read a book that has absolutely no point. I can do all sorts of awesome things just for the sure thing that I can. I am thankful that Amendment every single day, because without it, the smaller people at the end of the social spectrum, the ones with a bright and shiny tomorrow, are the ones who can also have a chance to shine. So, thank you to our founding fathers who have fought for this to happen. Thank you for giving me the freedom to read and write what I feel like writing.

A New Angel Gained.

Yesterday, someone in my town passed away. Although I didn't know him personally, I only knew of him, I couldn't help but feel sad. After all, here's someone died at the young age of 17. He had a life ahead of him to live, a meal that was right in front of him and that he could never taste.

Death is something that affects all of us directly or indirectly. It's a part of human life, a part of never ending cycle that will never break. Whether we knew them or not, we can not help but relate to that person. They, like us, have dreams, family, and of course friends. Those friends and family are impacted greatly by the loss of their loved one. They were children, playing with toys and cuddling with teddy bears. They had dreams, plans for what they wanted to do with their life. Now that they are gone, a goodbye becomes more concrete rather than a simple see you later.

Life is a gift. Every day isn't a guarantee. We should carpe diem every day because we may never get to feel happy. We should stack the chips high, and prepare to lose it all. Live life like we're afraid that its going out of style. It's too short to be spent unhappy. It's too short to be haunted by the ghosts of the what ifs. We should rue the day, because the open road is spread out as far as the eye can see and it's blankness is waiting to he filled.

When you look back in life do you want to leave something behind? Leave love, leave a legacy, leave happy. Leave knowing that you've completed exactly what you've wanted to do. 

Rest in peace Alex. I didn't know you all too great; however 17 is far too young to be saying concrete goodbyes to someone. Thank you for reminding us that life is a short gift that shouldn't be wasted with things, and that we truly shouldn't waste it.