Halloween for the Busy Person

Halloween is the one day a year you can dress as whoever you want to be, and eat as much candy as your little heart desires.  However, sometimes we're too busy or dressing up isn't really our thing. However, don't be fooled! There's still some fun ways for you to celebrate Halloween even if you're working, sick, or just not into the whole costume thing.
Have a movie marathon filled with Halloween classics. There's so many movies for this holiday, that you're sure to find one movie that's perfect for you. Whether you're interested in watching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown," or interested in a scary movie, a movie marathon is the perfect way to spend the holiday. As for me, I'll be rewatching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown," and watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" for the first time on all Hallow's evc.
Indulge in Halloween Treats! Halloween treats are amazing! Some of my favorites include chocolate pumpkins, and Reese's Pumpkins. However, there's tons other treats one can satisfy their sweet tooth. Whether it's the Fappula, a cupcake or a pumpkin shaped treat, there's so many ways you can "treat" yourself.

Get Minnie Mouse ears. Sometimes you can dress up as easily as putting a set of Minnie Mouse ears on and going out. If you're not a Disney fan, then you can always grab a pair of animal ears to add a spooky element for the day.
Read a scary story. Whether it's the "Legend of Sleep Hollow" or some other scary novel, there's nothing more relaxing then curling up with a good book after a long day.
Rock a spooky playlist. Music always manages to change my mood. Half of the state of mind is the tunes that you listen to on that day. Some great ideas include Michael Jackson's "Thriller," the B52s' "Monster Mash" and Panic! At the Disco's "This is Halloween."
Happy Halloween! How are you spending your Halloween? 

Society and the Single Girl: When Is Someone Interested?

I can honestly say that when it comes to love and relationships, I lack the knowledge to "seal the deal." The deal being getting someone into the Facebook official relationship where they are your boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other.
I think the struggle comes from the fear of being wrong. I've been rejected so many times through out my years of high school dating. (Pretty much my freshman through junior years.) And when you assume things, well you guys have heard the saying. Whenever I asked someone if they liked me, I remember the intense awkwardness and nothing was the same ever again. Of course, I wanted to maintain a friendship with the guy, however, it just never happened.
As I enter my last year in college, I'm realizing the reason why I am single is because I never take that leaps I did when I was younger. I'm too afraid to ask someone how they feel about me, because I am worried that they will reject me. Sad, but true. I worry someone may or may not be flirting with me, and whether or not I'm taking something that may not be flirting as flirting. This sentence was as complicated as my feelings are.
The thing about dating is finding the courage to tell someone how we really feel. That's my biggest struggle. I know how to ask for a job, and to annoy the people involved until they give it to me. But dating is a completely different ballgame. How do I let someone know I'm interested without coming off as too obvious or too desperate? How do I get the nerve to tell someone how I feel without coming off as an idiot?
This is when real life and romantic comedies diverge. In a romantic comedy, the cute dark haired stranger who takes you to Dublin is your soulmate. Or in a romantic comedy, you fall in love with a cute dance instructor. In real life, someone whose attractive in your class who asks you about the readings may just be interested in being your friend. Or, someone whose meant to be with you may not be for whatever reason.
The last time I was in a relationship was when I was about 15 years old. I didn't know much about relationships other than I should have one and that Bella Swan was a good role model to have. Let me say at 21, I have grown from that concept of love. I want to be with someone whose my partner. I want to be with someone who supports me, my aspirations and dreams. I want to be with someone liberal, who will accept the fact my closest friend is queer.
The thing is? I don't know how to get there. I don't know how to ask someone out. I know how to ask someone to hang out, but then I worry if it's a hanging session between friends or an actual date. Maybe the take home lesson is to take more chances, to vocalize your feelings and to maybe stop watching so much Netflix over the weekend. Where is my Prince Charming? Why can't he just magically appear out of the wood work and help me avoid this guessing game. 

Pepe's Reunion & Fall Hike

Between school and juggling many jobs, it's been hard for me to maintain a social life. Needless to say, I haven't. However, in the past week I managed to finally pencil in some time for some fun things for me to do.

                                                              A picture of some fall foliage.
The first thing that I did this past week was to go on a mini hike with Griffin, whose home from school. We first went to get food at the food trucks in New Haven, where you can get a lot of amazing food for an extremely low price. I got pad Thai with chicken, and he got a burrito. (I'm afraid I didn't get any pictures of the food)
 After we had Thai food, we went to hike (briefly) since it was a beautiful day since it was nice weather. The top picture shows some fall foliage that was spotted during our hike. It was nice to spend some time with him, especially since I haven't seen him in a while. I hope that we can go on a more lengthy hike in the future, because he's really fun to go hiking with.
 
 Enjoying some pizza!
This past Thursday night, I also went to Pepe's (which was recently voted the best pizza in the US) with Theresa and Verenized. It has been a while since we last hung out, so it was nice to catch up together. I had an original pie without cheese since I can't have mozzarella and it was amazing! They had a mushroom pizza, which I didn't get a picture of. If you are in the New Haven area, or with a Pepe's in general I recommend that you try it.
 
After we ate, we hung out a bit before heading home. Overall, it was a fun (and well-needed) night!
Hopefully, I'll be able to have more of a life and a chance to do fun things with friends (and blog about them) more frequently. #collegestudentproblems

Music Monday: Confident by Demi Lovato

                                                        Source

Demi Lovato is amazing. I have been a fan of her since her Disney Channel days at Camp Rock, but unlike her Disney co-stars she's talented. Since then, she's evolved into my role model and one of my favorite singers. Demi has overcome some serious things, and the fact that she's come out of it alive and stronger is amazing. That's what makes her role model worthy. That, and she has an amazing voice. And her latest release, "Confident," showcases that. 

"Confident" starts off...well Confident. The title track comes first and raises up the question what's wrong with being confident? Nothing Demi, nothing. "Confident" contains summer anthem "Cool For the Summer," however it also contains ballad tracks such as "Stone Cold," "Mr. Hughes" and "Father" which showcase Demi's amazing voice. She pairs up with Iggy Azelia  and Sirah for songs "Kingdom Come" and "Waitin' For You," which create an amazing collaboration. "Confident" also contains amazing pop songs such as "For You," "Old Ways" and "Lionheart." 

I'm beyond impressed with Lovato's latest release. I will however admit I'm a bit biased because I'm a Lovatic, but still this album is just amazing music. Some of the topics Lovato covers include love/relationships, her relationship with her father, and her struggles. Those were topics that were present in previous albums, but in "Confident" I felt they were really done in a unique way.  The song "Father" is so beautifully done, and it can really bring tears to your eyes, which is why it's one of my favorites. "Confident" also has a more mature sound then her previous works, and really brings home the fact that she's graduated from the Disney Channel. 

"Confident" is definitely worth the listen, and definitely the best pop album of 2015 without a doubt. Demi Lovato, you didn't disappoint. Thank you for making an amazing albums. 

Songs to Listen to: Confident, Cool for the Summer, Old Ways, For You, Stone Cold, Kingdom Come, Lionheart, Yes, Father, Stars, Mr. Hughes

Book Review: You First by Lea Michele

For those of you who don't know, I am a huge fan of journaling. I've kept a journal of thoughts and various things since the end of my senior year in high school. I may not always have time to write in it, however, I still manged to fill 5 to 6 books during that time.
"You First" by Lea Michele is a book about journaling. The former Glee star, also author of Brunette Ambition, gives a series of various journal prompts to write about. Some of the examples include thinking about your family, recording exercise and eating habits, and talking about ideal relationships. There's a section for each topic, as well as space to write down your thoughts and reflections. In mine, I've used my own personal journal, but I think this format is extremely effective.
I've been using the book for a couple of days now for inspiration for my own journaling. So far, I find the topics very helpful. As a stressed college student, I always don't have the time to take care of myself. This book does exactly that, because it forces me to take a step back and reflect on certain things.

One of the prompts I liked was to talk about past relationships and write about the patterns I've noticed with them. This helped me further realize things about myself that I may not have realized before. This then prompted me to change things about myself for the better, which is always good to do.
Journaling is something that I use to relieve stress. However, for some, it can be hard to begin. While I highly recommend this book for anyone, I especially recommend this for those who want to begin their journal but are stuck on what to say or write. This book gives you prompts on what to say, and it can lead you into self-discovery.

I recommend this book highly. But, if you're going to argue that "I don't have time for this!" let me say that for those who argue that taking the time out of their day to just spend 15 minutes to reflect is crucial in my opinion. Rome wasn't built in a day, so you don't have to fill the entire thing up at once. By doing one prompt a day, it helps you relax and even helps you discover something about yourself that you may not have noticed.
Therefore, I believe this book does in fact put you first, which I believe is an important mindset for many to have. Myself included.
Disclaimer: I've recieved this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

Using Social Media to Increase Blog Traffic.

Social media is something everyone uses to make connections or to connect with people they already know. It's crazy how many people use social media to not only brag about their lives   tell their friends what they are up to, but rather as an open space to share things with different people.So many of the articles I read daily online are from other people's social media accounts. Therefore, social media is essential for bloggers to use. Here's some tips to make your blog rule the social media scene:

• Get a Facebook page, and invite as many of your friends as humanly possible. That way, when you post to your blog's Facebook page, it will appear on whoever you like's newsfeed. Also, don't just post a link to the post. Instead, focus on writing a little bit about what your post is about so people will be interested in clicking on it. Also when creating a Facebook page, make sure you post more than just a link to what you're posting. If possible, show a photo as a hint to stay tuned to a future post. That way, you'll actually engage with your audience. Always be sure to announce things on your blog's Facebook such as when you may have to change the post schedule or some upcoming things for readers to look foreword to. 
• Tweeting out links, regularly. It's one thing to tweet it once, but what I find most effective is to tweet it out a few times a day. That way, people who are on Twitter at all different times can see your blog. This works well for me, because then people who don't like my Facebook can get a sense of my blog. 
• Pinning Posts. Pinterest is extremely helpful because it can help link posts to a lot of people that you never even knew simply by them using the keywords. For example, if you search "Carrie Bradshaw" you'll find articles about Carrie as well as pictures. Therefore, if you're going to write something with a search engine, pin the article because then you'll get more traffic. 
• Finally, use hashtags. Hashtags are crucial with social media because it's can help readers easily find your article/posts. Therefore, if you're writing about something popular, use a hashtag when posting it on social media. More people can then find your articles, and this will then drive blog traffic up. 

For all of you bloggers out there: what are some effective ways you ultilize social media? Let me know in the comments below!

Album Review: Black Lines by Mayday Parade

 
Source
Mayday Parade and I have a very interesting relationship. While I am a huge fan of their beautiful lyrics and somewhat acoustic melodies, I still am reminded of my middle school punk rock band phase that continued through high school. I may have deleted My Chemical Romance, however, Mayday is here to stay.
Mayday Parade recently came out with a new release, Black Lines which was released Oct. 9, 2015. I recently obtained the album last week, and after spending some time with it, I can say it's a typical Mayday Parade release.
The album starts out with single "One of Them Will Destroy the Other" (featuring Dan Lambton.) The song sounds like many of Mayday Parade's other songs, such as "Kids in Love" with electric guitar melodies and strong lryical content. The single is the lead single of Black Lines, and like many other of Mayday Parade's songs, focuses on failed relationships.
The album has a mixture of acoustic songs, and fast paced rock tracks. Songs like "Hollow" are lyrically brilliant, while other songs such as "Just Out of Reach" are empowering.
Overall, the album is amazing. The band, in my opinion, is talented. They are amazing song writers, and I wish they were more mainstream because of that. However, in this release, you can tell they have come a long way since their "Miserable at Best" days. If you like alternative rock, then you should definitely check out Black Lines by Mayday Parade.
Songs to Listen to: Hollow, One of them Will Destroy the Other, Letting Go, Look Up and See Infinity, Look Down and See Nothing

Sex and the City: Carrie's "Big" Problem

                                                                      Source
I've been a fan of Sex and the City since I was a junior to high school, and consider Carrie Bradshaw to be one of my biggest influencers. I also credit her to being the reason why I started to blog, which later lead me to decide I wanted to write professionally. However, even though I'm obsessed with the show, I have a few bones to pick about the show that as I've gotten older that I've been having problems with.
I speak for myself when I say most of the show is extremely relatable. I'm a lot like Carrie. For example, we're both shopaholics, we both overthink and we both are writers. However, the portrayal of her relationship with Mr. Big was a big too overdramatic.
Carrie constantly overthought and overreacted to many things when it came to that relationship. For example, when Mr. Big hadn't called her after having sex on the first date, Carrie assumed that he didn't want to talk to her ever again. Later on in that same episode, Carrie began to think that Mr. Big was ashamed of her based on a few minor details. Naturally, he wasn't. She later storms in and yells at him. Another example, is a few episodes later when she farts while in bed with Mr. Big. Through out that episode, she tries everything to get him to sleep with her again. Notice the pattern? She often jumps to conclusions.
These are just a few examples that we see in the early seasons of the show, where Carrie and Big's relationship was the most prominent one featured. Each of these moments demonstrates Carrie being insecure about Big and whether or not he actually felt something for her. I think she wanted the relationship to be perfect, so if he showed any signs of pulling away, she'd assume it was because he was no longer interested in her. And, that's not always the case.
People aren't always going to act like Prince Charming 24/7. Mr. Big is an example of that, because he had other things going on in his life. Since he was a big businessman, he'd often have to travel and be away.

Source
Carrie on the other hand, would just obsess constantly about the relationship. She often would do anything to be with him, such as ditch her friends, and later on have an affair. While Carrie and Big were in fact meant to be together in my opinion, her behavior in the early seasons was often seen as being over the top. She's overanalyzing her fart, and then she makes a total idiot of herself as he's trying to watch a baseball game. If someone's watching a game, chances are they wanted to be focused on the game. And it has nothing to do with Carrie.
I think the reason why she's acting this way is simply because she's insecure about the relationship ending, and that he's going to leave her based on the fact that she's not perfect. She's so afraid he's going to leave her, so when he does something that's out of the ordinary or something that mirrors him pushing away so she'll freak out about it. And that's a big problem in my opinion.
When I first saw the show, I honestly thought her behavior was normal. As I got older, I began to realize that she's acting a bit too ridiculous when it comes to those things. Don't worry Carrie, I still love you. But, you have to chill out and realize Mr. Big actually loves you. 

#lactoseintolerantprobz

For those of you who don't know, I've been lactose intolerant since April. This resulted in a huge change in my diet as well as adjusting to soy milk. However, here's some #lactoseintolerantprobz I have:

• Getting Sorbet instead of regular Fro Yo. Sorbet doesn't have dairy, so I'll get the one flavor they have at Fro Yo. Sometimes, it's good. Other times, not so much. 
• Cheeseless Pizza. Sauce and crust done right tastes amazing. Not right, not so much.
• Making sure your latte has soy milk. If not, then there's a problem. I always have to repeat it three times to the barista, and I watch them make it. And of course, soy milk costs an extra $0.60. 
• When going out with friends, you have to make sure they pick a place that has options. One of the problems I have is making sure my friends pick good places. For me this is not Olive Garden or a pizza joint. It's common courtesy to ensure that everyone in your party can eat the choices on the menu. 
• Giving up cheese. And everything else with milk. Giving up dishes such as Mac N' Cheese and Ice Cream can be annoying. However, I know that if I eat them, I feel sick. And to me, that's not worth it. 

Are you lactose intolerant? Let me know how you deal in the comments below!

Remembering My Grandfather

 
On this day four years ago, my life changed forever. The day began as a mundane rainy day in the life of senior year. I had badminton practice that day, in preparation for the next day's game.
However, it changed drastically and became anything that wasn't ordinary. My grandfather, someone who was like my father, had passed away at age 84. He lost his fight with Alzheimer's Disease, and was perhaps one of the most influential people of my life.
Thanks to my grandfather, I learned that there are a few good men out there. I learned to work hard for what I get (I believe I get my work ethic from him), and to never refuse money. His nickname was Sonny, and I believe it was because he was always laughing. He never failed to make me feel loved, and that love is what I miss the most. If he saw me now, I know he'd be proud. I've become the writer that he always knew I'd become. My grandfather was a great man, and a great sunshine to my family. That ray of sunshine is still missed today.
Although I do miss my grandfather, I have realized his death came to end something-his suffering. He suffered with Alzheimer's for five years, and became a living vegetable. His struggles varied from forgetting names to losing the ability to swallow.
Alzheimer's Disease still has no cure, however, it continues to steal things from thousands of other victims. While my grandfather's fight is over, they fight everyday with the disease. However, it's a hopeless battle that no one can ever win. That is, until there's a cure. On this day, I remember my grandfather and his struggle with Alzheimer's Disease. However, I'll also remember those who still struggle on a daily basis. 

Friday Faves: Fall Edition

Wow, it's been a while since I've done a Friday Faves, so I decided to a Fall Theme Friday Faves. What are your fall faves? Let me know in the comments below!
Charlie Brown Specials: I'm so excited to watch "The Great Pumpkin" and the Thanksgiving one, because they are classics.
Pumpkin Spiced...Anything: I may be basic, but soy pumpkin spice lattes are amazing. Plus, Starbucks has amazing cups this year. PSLs are amazing when it's cold outside and you just want to sip on something warm.

Fall Foliage Pictures: As my campus begins to have more foliage, be sure to stay tuned on my Instagram for some fun fall pictures. The leaves make such great images, it's not even funny.
 

Pumpkin Pie: Perhaps it's the only pie I like, but it's amazing and delicious. It's one of my favorites to have during Thanksgiving, but this year, I might splurge and buy a pie to enjoy now.

*Note: All pictures are my own and have been taken from my personal Instagram.

Yo, Me In High School; Here's a Letter For You

A few days ago, I was looking at my old Facebook statuses at work. I then realized how annoying I was, and felt bad for people who I interacted with at that time. So, I've decided to write a letter to myself to give myself the knowledge about things I wish I knew then. Maybe that would have made me less annoying....
Dear Natalie,
Welcome to high school. It's going to change your life, and some of the people you're close to now won't be there for you. And who am I? How do I know this? Well, this is the you from the future. Try 2015, where you'll have a car, 3 jobs and so many classes that you'll constantly feel overwelmed to the point where you don't know where to begin. But, before I tell you what you'll have to look foreword to, let me tell you a few things about life, kid. Cause you have a lot to learn about.
 
Me in May 2009. 
High school isn't as hectic as it looks. Sure, there are people who you want to be like, and there's the crowd of people who you want to fit in with. However, the person that you should aspire to be is yourself. Some of your peers are gothic, but that's not you. You're also not preppy, either. You're just you, if that makes sense. Embrace the elements that make you, you. Embrace the fact that you enjoy classic rock, and rap music. Embrace your quirks, even though people make fun of you for it. Yes, it can be easy for you to conform. However, later in life you'll appreciate the qualities of what makes you, well weird. For you, that will be your love for Ozzy Osbourne, and love for writing just to name a few. Do you, kid. No one else.
One of the struggles you'll encounter is struggling with your weight. In the course of one year, you'll drop 20 pounds. (Actually a little over.) Although you do it healthily, it quickly becomes an obsession. You need to be skinny, and when you binge, you binge hard. I can tell you that it's not the way that dieting and weight loss should work. Yes, it's a lifestyle choice, and you did things healthy. But you became obsessed with weight, and even judged those you were friends with by their weight. Soon, you won't be able to keep it up, and gain the majority of it back. What you learn through this, is that it's important to be healthy, no matter what size you end up being.
 
Senior photo, 2011.
Another issue that will come up during your high school years is relationships. You're going to be single for most of your high school career. You will have the cutesy relationships that last for like a day, but that's not going to count. You'll meet a red-haired boy who you think won't hurt you. You fall for him and think that he's the one for you at 15. (Okay, if you actually do read this, know that the boyfriend you have now won't be the guy you date forever.)Turns out, he does. The thing is, it's going to hurt a lot. It's your first real relationship, after all. But you learn a lot about relationships in the end. Sure you could have handled it better. Actually yeah you could have, because I'm literally embarrassed to even talk about it now. But you eventually learn that love is something that takes time, effort and patience. At 21, you don't have a boyfriend, but you've accomplished so much. I guess the take home message is that you should read books more than you chase after boys. At least you'll learn something through the books. Know that love is something that isn't a competition. When it's right it will come to you. And also, don't spam your partner and give him space when he needs it.
Here's some advice from the cooler version of yourself. Don't be afraid to be a nerd. Whether it's about music, books or just being passionate about something, it's what makes you unique. Don't stop writing. In the middle of high school, you'll begin to write a blog that becomes your diary. Four years later, you'll be paid to write. You're good at writing, but you'll become even better at it as time goes on. Your little blog will reach over 30,000 views. Read a lot, and don't forget to feed your mind. The library is a good place for you to be.

Verenized and I, sophomore year. 
 
Theresa and I, junior year.  
 
Griffin and I, the day I graduated. 
 
Griffin, Gabriel and I; graduation party 2012.
Furthermore, you'll meet some good friends. Some you'll still be in touch with, others you have lost touch with. Just remember that they are good, and remember to treat them well. You do cool things, like play badminton and join band. (Where you meet one of the people who you're closest too!)
Well, you should be going back to trolling everyone on Facebook. (Get off, seriously. Do something better with your life.) I'll see you in 2015.
Sincerely,
Natalie

Things I Love Tuesday: Turn Lock Satchel Turns Heads

 
Every once in a while, I'll wake up and think I want a new purse. The feeling usually comes once a new season starts and the one in the previous season becomes boring to the point I want something shiny and new. This happened to me a few weeks ago, however my reasoning for a new purse went deeper than just wanting something shiny to carry. I noticed that my older purse, a Dooney and Bourke Shopper tote, was just too heavy for me to carry. So, I searched up and down on the Internet. I also searched many local stores, and finally fell in love with this bag here. The Vera Bradley Turn Lock Satchel.I've had many Vera Bradley purses before, so I've decided that this would be the perfect bag for me.
I got it Thursday and I'm in love with it. I changed my purse the second it came in. So far, I love it. It's still a little big, but it still holds the essentials. It even has enough room for my iPad or some books. It has many compartments and pockets, which is good for staying organized. (I like to keep my bag organized, so this is perfect.) Plus, the satchel style adds a bit of sophistication, in my opinion.
Overall, if you're looking for a new purse to use, this is perfect. It's lightweight, holds a lot of stuff and if you look carefully affordable. I got mine at eBay for $25, but you can find them anywhere that has discounted Vera Bradley. Even if you have to pay full price, I still think this is a style that is definitely worth it.

Music Monday: 37 Albums Everyone Should Listen To

For the past two years, I've showcased new artists that I was obsessed with and thought they were good. I also wrote about upcoming releases, new albums, and shared playlists with you guys. Now, I've compiled a list of some albums that I personally have fallen in love with over the years. Some are old, some are new. Here's a list of my favorites. I love albums because they are a personal period of an artist's life. I also love them because there's nothing better than putting on a new CD. (I'm still old fashioned) And no, they are not in particular order. I recommend these all to you if you're looking for some fresh new tunes.

1. Like a Virgin by Madonna
2. Born to Die by Lana Del Rey
3. No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne
4. 1989 by Taylor Swift
5. The One by Elton John
6. Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara
7.  Strange Desire by Bleachers
8. Honeymoon by Lana Del Rey
9. Red by Taylor Swift
10. Paper Trail by T.I. 
11. Madonna by Madonna
12. Ozzmosis by Ozzy Osbourne
13. Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey 
14. JOJO by JoJo
15. True Blue by Madonna
16. Down to Earth by Ozzy Osbourne
17. Made in England by Elton John
18. Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne  
19. The High Road by JoJo
20. Confessions on a Dance Floor by Madonna
21. Top Gun (Soundtrack) by Various
22. Scream by Ozzy Osbourne
23. Stripped by Christina Aguilera 
24. The Stranger by Billy Joel
25. Beauty Behind the Madness by The Weekend 
26. Big Ones by Aerosmith
27. Tringle by JoJo
28. X by Ed Sheeran
29. Paradise (EP) by Lana Del Rey 
30. Going to Hell by The Pretty Reckless
31. Dirty Dancing (Soundtrack) by Various 
32. Ultimate Sin by Ozzy Osbourne
33.  Sehnsucht by Rammstein
34. Love Songs by Elton John 
35. American Life by Madonna
36. Light Me Up by The Pretty Reckless 
37. No Rest for the Wicked by Ozzy Osbourne

Society and the Single Girl: What Does It All Mean?

Nowadays, there's so many different kinds of relationships that go much further than the 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' label. There's friends with benefits, there's people who get together for sex and of course there's just two people having fun without the label. However, I must ask the hard question. How do you define a relationship? Like the real thing, where suddenly you feel it in your bones that he's the one. (Or she) What if you're committed to each other, but not to the label of significant other or partner? What is someone to do?

I don't know much about dating. My past two relationships were about five years apart. Both of those people were people who considered themselves to be my boyfriend. Especially the first. The second thing was something...but I didn't know what it was. And instead of having fun and enjoying it for what it was at face value, I constantly stressed out over what this was and where was it going. 

Now, as I enter my twenties, I ask myself what does this all mean? What does it mean to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it someone that you have fun with, really like to the point where they are the root of your smile and just want to be with? Or, is it someone who you like to spend time with, and you don't want to be with anyone else? That's my definition of a significant other or a boyfriend/girlfriend, but having that label in some senses equals that extra security blanket. Is the label just that extra thing to have, kind of like one would have extra money? And what does the label mean, exactly? What if you have something that is better than what those with labels entail, but once the label is put on, then things shift?

I have so many questions, which is good for a journalist. However, it's bad when I'm impatiently waiting for the answers. I've written about relationships in my blogs in the last five years, but I wonder even if I got older if I'm wiser. I still don't have the answers to everything. Whenever I talk to a cute guy, getting his number is so scary for me. I don't know what it means to have a boyfriend, because I've never had the real thing. And when I tell people about that, they say "don't worry, you'll find someone." Is having the real thing, a boyfriend (in my case as a cisfemale) the answer to all of my questions? The real thing being defined as having someone whose your boyfriend on the internet, because it's that official? Or is the real thing what you feel when you're alone with that person, they are holding you, and it's your definition of perfection?

A little food for thought. Are we after the meaning of the label, or are we just interested in having the label?