Thursday, October 25, 2012

Fear; Part Two.

Lately my life has been a blur of one word. Future. The word that I've been trying to avoid for my entire life, its finally no longer able to avoid. I can't no longer avoid it.
I worry that I will become a loser, and fail. I worry that I'll be one of those who doesn't end up living a successful life, or find a job. I wonder if I chose to follow my dreams, will I end up a failure cause of it? Or even, if that's what I really want. Of course, I want to write. I want to write the books that will inspire people of all ages to dream, to imagine, and to grow. I want to be something big. I know it's going to be hard, but in the end, I know it's going to be worth it. But, what if I'm not good at this writing thing? What if I'm actually a horrible writer, and people just tell me that I'm good so I won't cry? What if I'm just going to end up an English teacher? (nothing wrong with teaching, it's just not the life I would choose for me) What if I'm never going to find a job, and going to have to flip burgers for the rest of my life?
I don't want to happen. Of course not. But sometimes, I wonder if I'm going to fail. Or screw up. I shouldn't, but here is fear, front and center.
Maybe, failure is something that makes us stronger. I look at the greats and I know that they went through the same thing that I did.
And I know that I too, will overcome it.

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