Thursday, January 24, 2013

Talk to Me. Talk to Me?

There are many ways of communicating with each other. Sometimes, we tend to use it in ways that are effective. Others, we tend to ineffectively use it, causing a negative effect, opposite of what we originally have intended it, thus epically failing in our efforts to communicate. 
What are positive ways of communicating? Well, the first is to express your views on the matter being discussed, using the terms "I feel like this.." "Or this makes me feel like.." This way, people don't think your blaming them for what's going on, or pointing the finger of blame to them. You are simply telling them your own feelings, rather then saying it's all their fault. Another good feature is to talk in a calm matter. For example, don't go and yell at the person. Instead state in a calm manner that you're upset with the way things are going on, and go from there.
The negative ways of communicating are many. First, don't go and say 'It's all your fault', because that's what makes people angry. It's both of your faults, just sometimes it's more one person's then the other. Another good point to remember is timing. If the person is stressed or anxious due to some outer source, chances are that this isn't the right time. The last is don't go and yell at them. Yelling is bad. Yelling won't get you anywhere. The fourth and final tip to have when communicating is to actually listen to them, and what they have to say. They listen to you, just as you listen to them. In the end it all works out.
Lately, I've been thinking about this subject, and the way I communicate with others, and how others communicate with me. I admit that I'm not a perfectionist at expressing my emotions, in fact, I suck. I'm trying to work on trying to say things in a manner that comes out the way I mean them to, not just whatever mumbo jumbo that is in my mind. This causes me to over-think a lot about what I do, but that's fine. I think that communication is something that in time, we get better. However, remember, sometimes, we have to reciprocate them, and listen to what they have to say as well.

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