Thursday, June 25, 2015

Feelin' 1989

Six years ago, I was a fool for love. I was obsessed, Bella Swan style, with this guy who really didn't like me. (He says he did, but I was annoying and constantly called him.) When he broke up with me (cause I was a stage five clinger, let's face facts), I didn't think I could actually love someone else. Oh, how dramatic I was at 15!
Over the past six years, I fell in love with my best friend (who didn't like me back,) went out on countless dates with someone who didn't know what the hell he was doing, and dipped my toes into Tinder. (and dipped them right out, because that was creepy)
Taylor Swift once said 1989 was the album one feels after the breakup. One where the tears were gone, and you were ready to start again. I guess you can say I'm feeling 1989. Or, you can say that I'm ready for love.
While I'm not going to look for it like a crazy person, I am going to be open to it. I am ready for the next chapter in my dating life. I am ready to finally put behind my many mistakes, my many flaws and the things I did five years ago. I am ready to meet someone who may or may not be my Mr. Right. I'm ready to become someone's partner, significant other or girlfriend. I am ready to be open to the possiblity of being hurt, while experiencing joy in the moment.
I want to experience love, because simply I'm open to it. I no longer am going to let something that once happened a long time ago define how I'm feeling now.
The thing about love is it truly defines you. While I'm not interested in letting a relationship take over me as a person, I am interested in finding someone that will means something to me. I'm okay with being single, but I am also okay with being in a relationship. I believe that one is mature enough for 'the real thing' when they are content with being alone but find happiness (to some degree) with someone who thinks that you're wonderful to look at and makes you smile.
As Madonna would say "I'm living for love." I guess you can say I'm just that. And one day, I shall find it.

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