Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Importance of Taking Time Out for Yourself.

As a blogger, I have the decision to post whatever I want to post. It's all a part of being free and having your own webspace to do it in. I've gone back and forth in deciding I wanted to post this, especially since one you post something on the Internet, there's no way of going back. However, I've decided to do so, since blogging is all about being honest and stuff.
First things first, it's been a while since I've posted on a Tuesday. I've also been out of the blogging world for a little while, and took a 12 day hiatus from this little old blog. I'm deciding to come back, mainly cause blogging is my forte, but also because I really missed blogging. I could never not blog, and I am grateful to those who come back day after day on this little space on the Internet to see words that I've written in.
This semester, by far, is the worst semester that I've had. It's only been about a month, however, I am stressed out the way that I would normally would be during finals. I work two jobs, and at the start of the semester, was taking 5 classes. I felt like I had a mountain of work, without anytime to complete any of it. I was constantly overwhelmed and felt awful because of it. I constantly came home with a severe migraine (I have 5 classes in a day) and felt so depressed that I was constantly walking around on the verge of tears. I felt like everyone had these expectations of me, and I slowly began to lose what's important. (Which is, for those of you who don't know, being happy with yourself.) I however also felt that I shouldn't be complaining this much about my schedule, because that was life. It's a part of college, and the semester was only four months. So, for about a week, I was completely and totally miserable.
The breaking point for me was one Tuesday when I called a good friend of mine who is also my pastor and just started crying to her and saying that I couldn't handle it. That morning, I had gotten so sick, that I was throwing up before one of my classes. She was extremely comforting to me, and offered me some great advice. She told me to simply cut back. So, the next day, I went to my job and cut back on some of my hours. Luckily, my boss was kind enough to understand, and cut my hours back a bit.
However, I still felt overwhelmed with my schedule. At first, I thought it was me being lazy. In addition to taking five classes, working at the newspaper, and working at the library, I had been writing four articles (2 to keep my job; book review; class project), and of course keeping up with the blog. Enter the need for a break with the blog, with the hopes that it would help. I did go to my mom for guidance, who only suggested to drop a class.
So, after a few more weeks, I met with my academic adviser and explained to her what was going on. She then thought I was nuts for my schedule, and told me that I probably should withdraw from one of my classes. After a few days of thinking, I knew that this was the right thing for me to do. Even though it probably won't look the best on grad school apps (she did go on to tell me that it would be fine since I wasn't planning on doing this every semester) and that I wouldn't be graduating on time, I knew that this would be the answer for me.
This past Saturday, I withdrew from my class, and honestly I never thought that it would be something that I myself would be doing. As a result, I'll be graduating a semester later than I originally planned. Although this changed my life plan, I am realizing something else. And that is the importance of taking care of yourself, and putting yourself first. I believe that I was putting way too much on my plate, causing me to break. So, therefore, I am taking a break.
My goal for the remaining parts of this semester is to take care of myself. I'm in the process of getting a therapist. (Snow hasn't been helpful for that, everytime I made an appointment it got cancelled because of snow) I also am trying to make more time for things, treating myself (which isn't so great on my bank account), and trying to treat myself better. I hope to never find myself in that situation again, and I am now realizing that no grade is worth risking your mental health over.
As for my blog, I plan to be blogging for a while. Every now and then, I'll be taking a bit of a break if I feel like I'm overwhelmed. But, I'm taking care of me, which is something that I need to realize is important.

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