Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Age of Being Selfish?

I'm in my 20s, and I've just finished celebrating my 21st birthday. I've heard somewhere that your 20s is the time to be selfish. After all, the time in your 30s should be spent settling, so your 20s should be spent wondering around.
I'm 21, and I am at the age where I want to slow down. I don't hook up, but I want a serious boyfriend to talk to. I want someone whose going to support me, make me happy and of course watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" with me. I don't want to get married but I want someone. Not anyone, but that someone who I can just be with. Sometimes, you think you've found that someone and it's great.
When you think you find that someone, you want to stand still with them for however long. They are your partner and your best friend. However, sometimes one realizes that life is never easy. Sometimes life will give you opportunities that you are too scared too take. Other times, life gets in the way. People move, things happen, and life goes on. However, the feelings are still there. And you're left to wonder what's going to happen. If you move on or away from them, nothing feels the same. But, of course it won't because nothing can ever compare. And if you stay right where you are, you begin to feel unhappy. You don't know where or with who. You just are.
With all of that mumbo jumbo aside, the question remains whether or not you are being selfish by putting your happiness first. And, I think in some senses no it's not.
In the past six months, I've done just that. I've felt so overwhelmed to the point where it effected my physical and mental health. But, then I got help for that, I've learned to listen to my little voice inside my head. That voice tells me to do what makes Natalie happy. Due to that voice, I decided to graduate late, because squishing everything I needed into two semester would have driven me insane. I am sticking with a major that makes me happy, and excited to go to classes. I was let down by an organization that I put my heart and soul into, however something better came along. As I approach another year, I have a lot going for me academically. I'm working on weeding my friends and only surrounding myself with someone who makes me happy. And as for my love life, I'm working on it. I may be forever alone...but that may be okay as long as I'm happy.
In some degrees, to answer my initial question being selfish is okay. It's okay because you need to be happy. No one else. And if you're not happy and you're in pain, you can change it so you're not those things anymore. Furthermore, those things won't hopefully last forever.
This entry may have been a whole lot of babbling, but sometimes you need to babble for the Internet to see. It's kind of like therapy, in some ways. And what's better than free therapy?

No comments:

Post a Comment