The Birds Can Do It, The Bees Can Do It-Let's Fall In Love.

I recently saw this awesome post from Kate from Kate the (Almost) Great  about her answering some questions from this New York Times article. I thought that it was a brilliant idea for a blog post, so here's some of my answers to those questions. 


Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Can it be more than one? I guess it would be Audrey Hepburn, who is my favorite person. Other than being one of the most beautiful people in the world, she also is beautiful on the inside. Did you know that she had a pet deer? Also, I would want to have Lauren Conrad, Lana Del Rey and Taylor Momsen because I think that they all are great. 
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I last sung to myself yesterday. 
For what in your life are you the most grateful?
I am most grateful to my closest friends, particularly to the ones who allow me to drive crazy. I am most grateful to the friends who I am comfortable with crying in front of. Those are the friends who know how to really make me feel better whenever I'm down, and impossible to deal with at times. I sometimes take them for granted, and I hope that they know that I really enjoy having them around. 
What is your most terrible memory?
The day my grandfather died. I knew that he would any day now, and the fact that it did actually happen and it was real that I wouldn't see him alive again. I was always close to my grandfather, and the day he died was one of the worst of my life. 
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Probably getting my position as Opinions Editor at the school paper. It's such a great opportunity and honor, and I'm so grateful for it. 

I Wanna Get Better

Last week, I wrote a post entitled 'The Importance of Taking Time For Yourself' in which I talked about my issues with my mental health and having to take a step back. I first want to take a moment and say thank you to a few people who have emailed and supported me, including my good friends Bethany and Kari.
I've decided to once again post about it for two reasons. The first is that I want to be able to talk about it, and have people look up to me as being a strong individual. If someone is suffering due to depression or other mental health issues, I want them to know that they are not alone. Even though I know first hand that it sure as hell doesn't feel like that. The second is that writing for me is some sort of therapy. My blog is my account of my life, and sometimes writing a post is always helpful. I previously stated that I have slowly evolved from sharing every detail about my life on my blog, but at the same time, I feel like I could benefit from doing so. I don't know if this will become a regular part of my blog, but if I feel like I want to write about something, I will write about it.
Since writing that first post, I still haven't felt normal. Crying has become a sense of normal for me, and I constantly have been feeling miserable. It's affected my friendships, because I would lean on my friends, especially my good friends who I trust more than anyone. I am lucky to have such good friends, but they are not my therapists. I am in the process of getting a therapist, but sometimes there are things that people can't do to make you better.
I've also been furthering on cutting down on my weekly articles. As an editor for my school's paper, I have to write 2 articles for my own section. I also am taking an intense writing class, where I have to write another article weekly. And of course, there's this little ol' blog where I write every day in pretty much. Although scheduling posts is helpful, I still am writing a lot. 
Cutting down on my responsibilities, as well as dropping one of my classes was a step in the right direction, but I often feel like I am a failure for doing so. I've put a crazy amount of pressure on myself to become a better. However, I have given myself crazy high expectations, and that's not good. I need to realize that I am in fact enough, no matter what my GPA is. I need to learn that my best is in fact enough. I have to learn to take things on a step by step basis, and not worry so much about what something that happens next year.
I wanna get better. I don't want to be depressed, and I want to be happy. I'm taking steps towards happiness, and I know that it will be a while. I am a human who is a work in progress. I don't hold the answers to everything, in fact I hold the answers to next to nothing. I do know one thing. I know that the road to being better relies on me, and only me alone. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to reach the destination, but I know that I am a strong person who can handle anything. 

My Tiffany's.

In the movie 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', Audrey says that there is no place like Tiffany's because that's the place to go to whenever you have the mean reds.  Nothing bad happens at Tiffany's.

A bracelet that I had purchased a while back from Dava.

My Tiffany's is a bit different than Audrey's. It's a little small business called Dava. If you're ever in the New Haven area, you should really check it out. Dava sells a lot of some of my favorite things-chocolate, rings, other jewelry besides rings and other small goods. Whenever I am upset I go to Dava and purchase something whether it's a new bracelet, ring and with a side of chocolate. My blues will go away in an instant. Or at least I have a shiny things to make me smile.
It may not be Tiffany's but the jewelry is even more pretty and unique. I've gotten my favorite necklace from there, in addition to a ton of my favorite rings. Their quality is amazing, and the people who work there are easy to work with. They are so happy to help you find exactly what you want, and you leave with a smile a mile wide.
That's my Tiffany's.

Loving Yourself.

Source
Valentine's Day is almost here. There's talk of love everywhere. Do you love your boyfriend? Dog? Well, what about you? You're important, after all and you really need to make sure that you're taken care of.
We as a society sometimes forget that and provoke that mindset. Well, I am a huge fan of treating myself because I think that everyone needs to feel loved. Valentine's Day is all about love. That means going out to buy your boyfriend some sort of gift, yes I agree with that. However, that also should mean going out and buying yourself something.
And for all of you single gals out there, you for sure don't need a boyfriend. Go treat yourself to something tomorrow, because you're an excellent person. Whether it's candy, a sparkling new bauble, or something else go out and buy something that makes you happy.
The relationship that I myself that I need to work on is the one that I have with myself. I need to love myself more because let's face it, I've been way too hard on myself especially as of late. I have insecurities up to wazoo, and doubt and worry like it's my third job. I believe that it's something that I could work on. I have so far, with constant journaling, and using the book 'The Happiness Project.' Putting yourself first isn't selfish, even though sometimes people may think that it is. I have dealt with pressure from society  about my weight, my way of life, my relationship status, and even what I choose to do for a living. There are people in this world that could make you feel like you're not worth anything, and that is complete bull.
Even though it's a total cliche, let me say this. Put yourself first. Love yourself. Love others. Tomorrow is the day of love, so love you. 

My Worst Date

Hello all! I'm linking up with some lovely ladies, including Nina today to talk about my worst date ever. I thought it was a lovely idea, so here goes. This is also one of my first times that I've ever really blogged about my dating life, and I hope if this goes well I can continue to do so. So, here goes...

I haven't actually been on many dates, surprise. However, in the few that I have, one was particularly awful. Looking back at it now, I am unsure about whether or not it was an actual date. Don't you hate it when you're unsure if it's a hanging out session with someone that you like, and you're unsure if it's a friendly hang out?
 Even though I am just friends with this person now, it was just awkward. He's an extremely awkward person, and although he's a great one, it still was awkward. We decided to see a movie. I thought that he would actually make a move, since movie theaters are dark and perfect for such things. He didn't.
He paid for my ticket, and refused to have me pay. We watched some version of the Hobbit, I think. I didn't actually like it, so that made me have a bad time. But who hasn't lied to their crush just to make them happy? (PS: Don't do it, it's bad as you can tell.) Every few minutes, through out the movies he would ask me if I was okay.
It's my worst date, because I just knew that he wasn't the right person for me. Ever have that weird feeling that something isn't right for you? Well, that's what it was for me. Looking back it now, I knew that it was but didn't know want to admit it for myself. He's a great person, but he's just not great for me.
What was your worst date?

The Importance of Taking Time Out for Yourself.

As a blogger, I have the decision to post whatever I want to post. It's all a part of being free and having your own webspace to do it in. I've gone back and forth in deciding I wanted to post this, especially since one you post something on the Internet, there's no way of going back. However, I've decided to do so, since blogging is all about being honest and stuff.
First things first, it's been a while since I've posted on a Tuesday. I've also been out of the blogging world for a little while, and took a 12 day hiatus from this little old blog. I'm deciding to come back, mainly cause blogging is my forte, but also because I really missed blogging. I could never not blog, and I am grateful to those who come back day after day on this little space on the Internet to see words that I've written in.
This semester, by far, is the worst semester that I've had. It's only been about a month, however, I am stressed out the way that I would normally would be during finals. I work two jobs, and at the start of the semester, was taking 5 classes. I felt like I had a mountain of work, without anytime to complete any of it. I was constantly overwhelmed and felt awful because of it. I constantly came home with a severe migraine (I have 5 classes in a day) and felt so depressed that I was constantly walking around on the verge of tears. I felt like everyone had these expectations of me, and I slowly began to lose what's important. (Which is, for those of you who don't know, being happy with yourself.) I however also felt that I shouldn't be complaining this much about my schedule, because that was life. It's a part of college, and the semester was only four months. So, for about a week, I was completely and totally miserable.
The breaking point for me was one Tuesday when I called a good friend of mine who is also my pastor and just started crying to her and saying that I couldn't handle it. That morning, I had gotten so sick, that I was throwing up before one of my classes. She was extremely comforting to me, and offered me some great advice. She told me to simply cut back. So, the next day, I went to my job and cut back on some of my hours. Luckily, my boss was kind enough to understand, and cut my hours back a bit.
However, I still felt overwhelmed with my schedule. At first, I thought it was me being lazy. In addition to taking five classes, working at the newspaper, and working at the library, I had been writing four articles (2 to keep my job; book review; class project), and of course keeping up with the blog. Enter the need for a break with the blog, with the hopes that it would help. I did go to my mom for guidance, who only suggested to drop a class.
So, after a few more weeks, I met with my academic adviser and explained to her what was going on. She then thought I was nuts for my schedule, and told me that I probably should withdraw from one of my classes. After a few days of thinking, I knew that this was the right thing for me to do. Even though it probably won't look the best on grad school apps (she did go on to tell me that it would be fine since I wasn't planning on doing this every semester) and that I wouldn't be graduating on time, I knew that this would be the answer for me.
This past Saturday, I withdrew from my class, and honestly I never thought that it would be something that I myself would be doing. As a result, I'll be graduating a semester later than I originally planned. Although this changed my life plan, I am realizing something else. And that is the importance of taking care of yourself, and putting yourself first. I believe that I was putting way too much on my plate, causing me to break. So, therefore, I am taking a break.
My goal for the remaining parts of this semester is to take care of myself. I'm in the process of getting a therapist. (Snow hasn't been helpful for that, everytime I made an appointment it got cancelled because of snow) I also am trying to make more time for things, treating myself (which isn't so great on my bank account), and trying to treat myself better. I hope to never find myself in that situation again, and I am now realizing that no grade is worth risking your mental health over.
As for my blog, I plan to be blogging for a while. Every now and then, I'll be taking a bit of a break if I feel like I'm overwhelmed. But, I'm taking care of me, which is something that I need to realize is important.

Society and the Single Girl-Valentine's Day Edition

Roses are red, violets are blue, and Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Ready or not, here it comes. Whether you're single, swiping right on Tinder, getting ready to DTR or enjoying a V-Day with your special someone, we all aware about this little holiday filled with love. Valentine's Day is the perfect holiday to sprinkle some pressure in your life. Whether it's to get bae to say 'I love you' or to find a bae in general, Valentine's Day can sometimes be the most hated holiday amoungst the single of the year.
I'm going to shock you all and say that I've never really had a Valentine. Once in eighth grade, I decided to look my best to ask some guy I liked at the time to be my boyfriend. That didn't work..like at all. Ahh, awkward middle school crushes. In high school, it was a constant reminder that I couldn't find someone to buy me a single rose. I bought my best girl friends roses at the time, to give them pick me ups. But, the more optimistic part of me wanted a little magic thrown my way.
In college, I think I've become the dark and pessimistic lady. I blame my mom's love for the Hallmark Channel for that one. Nothing happens like it does in the movies, which is something that I've had to learn the hard way. To me it's cheesy, and that's something that I'm just not a fan of.
However, a tiny part of me wishes that I had the whole Prince Charming experience. Someone to at least spend the holiday with, not because I want someone to take a V-Day selfie with, but because I generally want to be with. I want someone to hold my hand, but I want to make sure that I really do in fact like them and want them to be there.
A year ago, Valentine's Day was a bit different because I was in this wierd sort of relationship where I didn't know what was going on with the person. I had hoped that this day of love would be the reason for him to proclaim his feelings. Of course, when he didn't I was crushed..no pun intended. The year before, a guy that just wanted someone to be his girlfriend, anyone for that matter, was trolling me. This Valentine's Day, I don't know what's going to happen, honestly. I could be hanging out with my friends, playing with my dog, or shopping for my upcoming trip to L.A. I plan to buy myself some chocolate and some piece of jewelry that I have my eye on.
I have come a long way from the girl in middle school writing notes to her crush. However, a part of me wants a bit of her optimism back. She wants to believe that maybe this Valentine's Day, someone will be blaring 'Don't You Forget About Me' and whisk her away on a lawn mover. But, the older Natalie realizes that life isn't a rom com, and sometimes that's okay.
Happy almost Valentine's Day to the singles, and to the couples. May all of you be awesome!