Monday, June 4, 2012

The Beginning?

Graduation is coming up. And this year, I'm going to be the one that's walking the football field wearing yellow. (Ironically, it's my late grandfather's birthday) Normally, one would be so happy about leaving, starting a new life, change, but I'm not.
I just starting to adjust to my life after a year of change. I'm finally getting stable, finally getting used to everything, and all of sudden: GRADUATION. COLLEGE ORIENTATION. Sure, it's exciting. Sure, it's something to look foreward to, but I can't help but wonder what I'm leaving behind:
  • I'm leaving behind my friends, all of the ones I've grown up with, and the ones that I met a few years back. I'm leaving behind a girl with curly hair with freckles who I call my best friend, my little sissy. I'm leaving behind a girl with long brown hair, and olive skin. I'm leaving behind a girl with highlights in her hair and a passion for dance. I'm leaving behind a blond haired best friend, who never fails to make me laugh when I'm down. I'm leaving behind an adopted girl with long hair, and a smile on her face everyday. I'm leaving behind a girl who had long hair, and speaks Spanish. I'm leaving behind a kid with a green back pack, an ear to listen to my probelms, and always has facts in tote.
  • I'm leaving behind my years of being a kid. I'm going to be 18. No child support. No getting a discount at iHop for being a kid. I have to pay for myself, and worry about tution and bills at the end of the month. I'm on my own now, and it's kinda scary.
  • I'm leaving behind the teachers who inspired me to grow. Aranci, Lidzbarski, Feldman, Stamidis (whose class I'm in right now, and supposed to be working on an essay for), Easton, Coladarci, Balanda, Barkon, Davidson, Forcucci, Leone, and Mr. C, you all are a huge part of my success on my path of academics, and thanks to y'all, I'm at college. Or going to be, but whatever.
I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of losing all of those people. I finally found my place, and now it's no longer time for me to be there. The beginning? More like it's the end of an era. But, it's also the beginning for college. For driving a car. For my books to be written and published. For me. I need to find a place in this world. It's scary not knowing where you're going, but maybe, the craving for familarity will soon be satisfied by the taste of openess. Of new beginnings.
Here's to new beginnings.

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