Wednesday, November 13, 2013

250 Part Two; Why Im Happy Now.

I bet you're seeing this and thinking one thing-how does a 19 year old girl know everything that is to know about happiness? Well happiness is something that doesn't come in a magic bottle, and isn't something that's like an equation and you one simple answer. I'm not the Dali Llama, and I don't have the answer to everything, despite the fact that sometimes I may feel like it.
I use happy as nothing but an objective term. I still have days where I'm a little sad, but overall I find meaning within my life. No life is perfect, and mine is no exception. When I first started this blog I had just battled depression bought on by grief. I had lost my grandfather, who was very close to me, to dementia of the Alzheimer's type. I felt sad and depressed all of the time, and I treated a lot of people horribly. I've had one miniature episode of depression this past August, but I believe that with trauma events of some sort, whether bought on by death, or by other things that life throws at us, it makes us a better person. A stronger person, if that. 
During the run of my blog, I believe that I have matured during the run. I hope that in my writing you can tell that as well. Writing is something that despite some people's belief makes me truly happy and fulfilled. I get so into writing, whenever it's for school, the paper that I work for, a story that I write, or this blog. It's my euphoria, my way of going into the zone. I am looking forward to getting into a career about writing, and I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.
I'm happy now because I fit a mold that I fit for myself, not one that others have built for me. I do things not to please others but simply myself. One of my biggest problems was that I compared myself to others, and that makes me feel often inferior. I'm learning not to do that because my life is awesome.
This past year has bought on a lot of changes that I've been happy about. I at last know what I'm going to do with my life. I've always have, but this is much more official, and real. I have great and awesome friends, who I know are always there for me. I have an awesome job, (and money-that's always a good thing to have), in addition to being a special correspondent to my college newspaper. The pressures of a double major is far behind me, because at last, I am pleasing one person. The opinions of other doesn't even comprehend to matter to me. I've also realized that I am lucky, because of all of the blessings that I have in my life, not the drawbacks. I've also deleted people that make me feel upset about the way I leave, because I truly believe that you are who you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with happiness, than you will be extremely happy. I
I believe that we are the center of our own anxieties, because we can control to an extent how we feel about ourselves, and how react. We tend to be anxious over the things that we can't control. Like our boyfriend's behavior? Yes, we can't control that. We can't control what the person is going to do, and by realizing that is the greatest thing. I believe that's why some relationships go south; because we try to control a situation that we simply can't.
We live life, and we go through ups and downs. I believe that's what keeps us on our toes. But now, I believe that I"m truly happy with myself and my life. There could be a few things added to ultimately sweeten the pot, and make life better. But this, is why I'm happy now. 


  1. I'm glad that you are happy now! I know what its like to battle depression. Its an uphill battle that's never really over.