Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Society and the Single Girl; Expectations

I would like to introduce this new feature on my blog, called Society and the Single Girl. It's about how society and it's expectations of romantic relationships, in addition to my opinions of a certain matter. I have three sources of inspiration for this article. The first, is Carrie Bradshaw. The second is Helen Gurely's Sex and the Single Girl. The third is the feature on a blog I read called Move on Over Carrie ( So, without further adue, here is my own little screwed up verison and opinions of this.)

In life we have expectations on everything. We expect certain outcomes based on societal norms. We expect that when we go to bed, that we will wake up in the morning. We expect that when we eat food, we will no longer be hungry.
The same can be said about romantic relationships too. When going into a relationship, we expect certain things. Some are different then others. For example, let's take a boy who likes a girl. If the girl says yes to him when he asks her out, he expects certain things. He expects that she thinks that they are going out on a date. He expects that she likes him too. However, the girl could have different expectations of the date. She could, for all we know, expect that he's going to be turning into this amazing guy, and they will live happily ever after.
The reality is different than the expectation. Expectations can cloud the reality because when the expecations are not met, than we will try to mold them into being what we want to be.
Our romantic relationships are affected the most by this. For example, take someone who falls head over heels in crazy love. She expects that the relationship will last forever, and that they will go on and get married. However, the expectation can cloud the judgement of her boyfriend treating her badly, and making her feel like she needs him more than she actually does.
A common love pattern I see on social media sites is that people refer to their significant others as the one. Referring to people who you barely know, or people that you put up on a pedestal as the one can be bad for every party involved.
In all actuality, going into things with the expectation is something that we as humans can not avoid. By creating people that are different than what they actually are we are living a lie.
My personal opinion of all this expectations is to simply try to go in and not having any. That way, you don't have to feel like you have to live up to the schema that society and yourself has created. That way, you can just be, VS than aspire to be. Expecations can ruin relationships.
My expectations for my future boyfriends are that he understands that I have to do my own thing at times, that he's important to me as well as I hope to be for him, that my two closest friends are males, and they are the best people in the world, and that I have my quirky moments. I expect that I'm treated with respect, dignity, and like a lady. I demand that same amount of respect from him, and I hope that he knows that.
Expectations can cloud judgement. By trying to not have them? We simply can not have them, but by not created them we have the opportunity to live freely.

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