Friday, April 11, 2014

Out With Friendship; In With Competition

                It disgusts me that some women don’t understand the meaning of being a good friend. In the hit movie Mean Girls, we see the evolution of clichés, when women are at each other’s throats and talking behind each other’s backs. Although that movie was a comedy, you got to admit that there is some truth to it. Since when do your friends become your greatest enemy, and since when do you have to wear your poker face around people that you deem to be your friends?
                Whatever happened to having each others’ backs like the women in Sex and the City? Women who care about each other, not plotting to take behind their backs?
                Society has slowly enforced the mean girl culture, which is something that really disgusts me. I’m not enforcing the hippy concept of “peace and love”, but I do think that we should at least have respect for each other’s wants, needs, and desires. True friendship is something that is give and take, not going behind the backs of your friends to conquer.
                When it comes right down to it, some do not grasp this concept. It’s upsetting, because I believe that in order to have a friend, you have to be one. To be a friend, you have to care about them, listen to their problems when they have them, and be their support system by being their biggest cheerleader when they are happy, and their therapist when they are upset.
                It makes me angry to even think that the concept of female friendship doesn’t exist anymore. It’s perhaps extinct in our culture. We have to outdo each other, in order to be at the top. The concepts of having respect for others is being thrown out the window, because all we care about is making everyone else look bad. We bake or eat cookies with friends. Now, we just crumble them like cookies and leave their crumbs scattered around. Meanwhile, the one who crushed the cookies was the one that was standing tall and proud like Superman. But instead of a cap, they wear high heels.
                Whether they are out for a guy or a coveted position, it’s safe to call what Cady Haron deems as ‘girl world’ an outright jungle. It’s survival of the fittest. However, the actual fighting differs. In a jungle, the fighting is physical and bloody. None the less, the animals know how to cut you to the point where it hurts. In ‘Girl World’, it may not be physical, but it still packs a major blow. Instead of the fighting happening right in front of you, it has to be behind closed doors. The fighting is sneaky, and has to be executed right in order to be effective.

                I wonder why we have to make everything into a full blown war with each other? We’re not in the high school hallways anymore, we’re in a college campus. But still, the drama still exists, and best friends are still having it out with each other on texting and social networking sites. Although it’s toned down a bit, I still can’t help but wonder will friendship ever triumph the desire to be the better one. Or will friends turn into colleagues, and business contacts. 


  1. Unfortunately, this exists everywhere. Not just high school and college. I agree with your thoughts 100% but we also have to look at how boy and girls are raised to see where this might stem from. I've done extensive research on this, but I'll try to keep it short lol At a very basic level, boys are raised through teams, and get that, "defend each other" and "all for one..." mentality by learning that you're only as strong as your weakest link. Girls are raised in a way that says be the best you can be and stand out from the others, so that more opportunities will be open to you. Which creates a sense of me versus them stance, which on a team, isn't actually good. Granted there are arguments about this theory as well, but I was in a lot of team sports and I always felt like this is how it was, and I hated it because it really benefited no one and I saw how teammates became "Mean Girls" so easily.


    1. thank you for stopping by! and I agree with you. That's true, and a really good point.

  2. This is a super well written Post, with many complexities exposed. It does seem sometimes that a transitioning culture of society has further intensified these issues. Since this Post has so much depth it is difficult to capture discussion in a brief comment but it is too bad there is not a greater resolution focus, much of what would be the best for society in general not just one individual. If one wants to look at public culture and individuals, not individual friendship- Martha Stewart. Jealousy. How can anyone justify disdain for someone that has contributed so much and in so many ways to making life more beautiful in so many ways to our overall society. Like her or not she certainly deserves respect. And respect, is part of what we have lost from the most basic of levels.

    1. This comment made my day! And I totally agree with what you're saying! It's hard to because of that yet we can't help but try to outdo her in some aspects...