Friday, May 4, 2012

How Can I?

You know the commandment 'Honor thy Mother and thy Father?' Well how can I honor someone that I barely know? I mean seriously.
The only thing that I know about my father is the lies that he tells me.
"I'll be there for you", he says. He wasn't.
"Things will change", he says. They didn't.
"I can try to see you more", he says. He never did. In fact, he never even called.
And want to know where this left me? This left me confused. Who leaves their child when they are two, destined to never see her again? Who is so blinded by guilt that they can't bring themselves to face a sudden goodbye to a well respected man, who you once said had no flaws? Who doesn't make an effort to see their child go to their formals and dances, graduations, parent teacher conferences, awards, and concerts?
How can I forgive the years of anger and resentment towards you? How can I give, when you only take away from me? You are my father you say? Well why haven't you talked to me? Why haven't you been there for me? One of these days, I'll get the courage to say these things to your face. One sweet day, I will let you know that I don't need this bullshit.
But until then, think about what you have done. To me. To my mother. To everyone. It's your fault that things are like this, no one else's.

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